Leave the pieces
by dramaqueen452
Summary: she has done nothing but fight for him, yet he insists that he is inlove with lindsey so she leaves treehill for good, only comes back for a friend in trouble but she is not the same girl who left three years ago.
1. Chapter 1

AN:let me just say this, i'm a major LP fan, always have been and alwaays will be. but i read this story 'absence of fear by bandmlove' (kudos to you by the way, awesome story.) anyway it had this relationship with Chase and peyton, and that kinda inspired me to explore them as a couple, what they would have been like together, coz i love chase to bits. i also dont like the way Peyton forgave Lucas just like that in season 6, i understand love and all that but he really should have felt some of her pain i think.

anyway pliz review, i would love to know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or any of its characters

Peyton bit her lip hard as not to laugh at the awkwardness in the car. The only person who didn't seem to be aware what was going on was Owen. And Brooke looked like she wanted to die when the friend that Owen had said she was hooking Peyton up with was none other than Chase Adams, her high school sweetheart! Peyton and Rachel had roared with laughter with poor Brooke looking utterly mortified. Now they were on their way to Lucas and Lindsey's engagement party, the one thing that she would have gladly missed, but Brooke was having none of it.

'You are not hiding away, you haven't done anything wrong!' Peyton had just barely refrained from pointing out that she wouldn't exactly be hiding but going to this party would be venturing into the lion's den, so to speak.

'Is there something that I'm missing here?' Owen finally asked looking between all of them. Peyton put her fingers over her lips to keep herself from cracking up again. Chase inched forward in between the front seats.

'Owen mate, d'you remember that girl I told you I was in love with in high school?'

'Yeah, the cheerleader/clothes designer you lost your virginity to in the back of your car?' Owen smiled mischievously

'Y-e-ahhhh.' Chase was blushing furiously. 'Do you remember her name?'

'Yeah it was...uhmm...what?!' he said looking at Brooke and trying to look back at Chase through the review mirror

'Yep.' Chase said patting his shoulders sympathetically.

'How...what?' he was shaking his head obviously unable to believe his ears...his girlfriend and his best mate, erghhhh.

'I...' Brooke opened her mouth to explain, but nothing came out, what could she say?

'Peyton.' She said pleadingly looking to her friend for help.

'It was a long time ago Owen.' Peyton supplied echoing her thoughts.

'Yeah man, it was ages ago.' Chase said.

'Hmm-hmm.' Rationally Owen knew that, but he also knew how his friend had felt about the girl in high school and that the only reason their relationship broke up was because they were in different states at that time. By the time they got to Haley's house Peyton was ready to burst at the seams, she couldn't contain herself.

'It's not funny!' Brooke hissed at her furiously.

'Well you gotta admit. It is just a little bit...just a little, no? Okay, we won't laugh anymore.' She drew an imaginary zip across her mouth and threw the 'key' behind her shoulder. But now that she wasn't laughing at the situation before her, it really brought home exactly why they were here and that feeling of loneliness overwhelmed her once again. As if on cue Lucas exited the house just as they were going in.

'Hey guys!' he said brightly, he barely glanced at Peyton. He shook Owen's hand and kissed Brooke's cheek. Peyton groaned inwardly, what was it that he was mad at her for this time? It was probably something to do with his perfect fiancé. Then he turned to Chase, as if he hadn't seen her at all. 'Chase! My man, it's been a long time. I'm glad you could make it. It's been forever!' he clasped his hands in a brotherly handshake. Was he kidding? How could he be that happy? How could he just barely look at her as if they hadn't been prepared to share their entire lives together, but then again, she reminded herself, they weren't about to share their lives together were they? He was about to marry someone else who wasn't her. Well then, she resolved as she brushed past him to look for a very stiff drink, if he was gonna act like she wasn't there then so could she. It would be a whole lot easier if he wasn't the whole reason she was here in the first place. Damn it! It wasn't like she was asking for him to suddenly look at only her although that wouldn't be totally a bad idea, she mused silently. But it would have been great to be acknowledged the way he did everybody else she had been with. The way Brooke had looked at her she knew that she had noticed it too, so she wasn't being paranoid.

She headed for the bar, that's what she needed at that moment, a very stiff drink. She wasn't surprised when she found Skillz at the make shift bar.

'Hey Skinny girl, how's it hanging?' he smiled brightly at her.

'Make it a very large whisky, the largest you got, straight.' she slid onto the bar stool her eyes wandering around the room taking in everything and everyone.

'That bad huh?'

'Nope but I have a feeling it's about to be reeeeaally bad though.' Lindsey Strauss was heading her way and none of those confrontations had ever ended well, she didn't expect this one to be any different. Skillz followed her eyes to see where she was looking and seeing Lindsey his mouth formed a silent o. He immediately put the drink in the girl's hand noting that she was going to need it if she was to survive the next two seconds. Peyton snatched it from his hand and downed half the drink in one go shocking both Skills and herself.

'Easy there snowflake.' Skills gently took the glass off her hands and set it next to her as Peyton coughed and sputtered trying to catch her breath and ease the burning sensation on her throat.

'Peyton, you okay?' Lindsey was immediately by her side rubbing her back. Peyton froze and barely refrained from visibly recoiling.

'Yeah, just drank a little too fast.' She said wiping the tears that had formed in her eyes. Then she turned and plastered on a smile as she faced the other woman. Skills watched them warily, he wasn't sure whether to run and hide or to stand there and hide all the sharp objects and be ready to referee.

'You sure?' Peyton wasn't sure whether it was genuine concern in the other woman's eyes or whether she was faking it. She didn't know any more. She had been guilty of seriously misjudging the other woman previously and after their somewhat sort of truce the other day in the library, she wasn't that eager to stir the waters, as much as she didn't like her. The only thing they were both guilty of was loving the same man. Although in her case she had no right coz not only did he not belong to her, he didn't want to, he had made that clear on more than one occasion that he had moved on and he didn't love her anymore, instead he loved the woman in front of her.

'Yeah.' She moved off from the chair to stand a few feet away from Lindsey.

'Well I'm glad you came.' She said wringing her hands nervously.

'Wouldn't have missed it.' She said cocking her head to the side.

'Well you look good.' Lindsey said after a minute of unbearably awkward silence.

'Thanks.' This was ridiculous, why were they even attempting small talk, everyone knew they didn't like each other, and especially because of their 'common interest' they were actually excused from making small talk.

'Well there is Nate, I'm gonna go talk to him.' She made her escape before Lindsey had the chance to recover. She breathed a sigh of relief when Nate immediately walked through the door heading her way, at least she wouldn't look like a liar just in case Lindsey was starring after her.

'Nate!' she cried out desperately.

'Hey Sawyer, you made it.' He swivelled towards her surprise written all over his face.

'Don't sound so surprised.' She said defensively but immediately retracted when he shot her a look that clearly asked her if she was seriously surprised that he was surprised. 'Okay fine, you are right to be surprised, just a little, how you doing?'

'Oh you know, so-so.' His eyes automatically wondered till they settled on Haley who had Jamie hot on her heels. He seemed to be begging for something but Haley wasn't budging

'Hang in there Scott.' She patted his arm sympathetically. Clearly Haley still wasn't talking to him.

'Easier said than done.' He said so sadly that her heart completely went out to him. She wanted to hug him tight and take away all his pain. She didn't agree with the way he had handled things but Haley was taking this whole punishing thing too far. Besides ever since she got back Haley had given her nothing but grief so she didn't owe her anything.

'Forget about me, how are you doing Sawyer?' trust Nathan to put everybody else before himself; she laughed as she remembered how she had described him in high school- a martyr.

'Better than you by the looks of it.' She attempted a laugh but it came out hollow and empty. She didn't want to talk about her, anything but. She knew people were whispering, talking about her, the poor rejected girl who wanted a guy who didn't want anything to do with her, she would be damned if she spent the remaining of her time here thinking the same. Now all she had to do was survive the next hour and then she will be gone. 'Just to show your face.' Brooke had said, and an hour was plenty of time to 'show one's face' as her friend so delicately put it.

'Daddy can we play rock band with you and momma?' Jaime said solemnly looking up at his father with huge pleading eyes.

'Not now Jaime.' He said flippantly not even looking at him. He set off as he followed Haley. Jaime followed him hugging his little guitar to his chest and a few seconds later he was tugging at Haley's skirt.

'Hey.' A voice said behind her. She turned and her lid automatically stretched to a smile when she saw Chase behind her.

'Hey you.' She smiled briefly at him before her eyes returned to Jaime. From where she was standing she could guess what the conversation was about, she saw Haley shaking her head and waving him off. Jaime's arms fell to his sides dropping the guitar in his arms. His face fell to his chest and Peyton was sure he was crying. She let out a string of curses under her breath. Damn them, they were so busy with their stupid fight that they didn't even realise the one person they were hurting the most.

Hearing her swear Chase asked her if she was okay. He didn't think he had ever heard her swear the entire time he had known her. Instead of answering him she grabbed his hand, 'Come on.' she said leading him upstairs.

'Oh but Sawyer shouldn't you buy me a drink first before you drag me up stirs?' he said quirking hi eyebrows mischievously. Peyton stopped, shocked and speechless, and then she burst out laughing.

She couldn't help it, seconds later they were both laughing as Chase joined her

'Oh my God.' She said gasping for air, trying to stop but unable to as her stomach echoed in spasms of laughter.

'Well at least that got that deadly serious look off your face.' He was smiling at her now as she wiped tears of laughter from her cheeks. She couldn't help but note that ever since she met him today she had laughed more than she had in as long as she could remember.

'Shut up, you'll ruin my make up.' She playfully shoved him.

'I don't know what you are talking about.' He said feigning innocence as they ascended the stairs.

They found Jaime in his room his rigid little back to the door.

'Hey buddy how are you doing?' Peyton said sitting behind him to see what he was doing, she motioned for Chase to come in. Jaime vigorously ran the back of his hands on his cheeks, to hide any evidence of his tears Peyton suspected.

'I'm okay.' He sniffed.

'Really, then turn around and look at me.' Peyton prompted but as she had expected Jaime shook his head no.

'No? Alright how about you come and lie here with me and Chase, we won't talk if you don't want to. We'll just lie here and say nothing.' She motioned for Chase who hesitated as he stared at the tiny bed. Jaime hesitated also before he moved back and laid his head quietly on Peyton's shoulder with Chase on the other side of him. Like she promised Peyton didn't say anything, the all just lay there saying nothing. Five minutes later Jaime finally shifted and sat up looking at both Peyton and Chase then finally his eyes landed on Chase.

'Who are you?' Chase chuckled at his directness.

'I'm Chase.'

'I'm James Lucas Scott.' He offered his hand for Chase to shake.

'Nice to meet you James Lucas Scott.' He smiled taking his hand. Then suddenly his whole demeanour changed.

'I just wanted to play rock band together as a family so that momma and daddy would talk and we'll be happy again like on TV.' he said so sadly that Peyton could have sworn she heard her heart break there and then he snuggled back on Peyton's shoulder. Peyton looked at Chase again for help through a veil of tears.

'It will be okay little man, you'll see. They will be happy again. They just need some time apart. Right now they are busy helping uncle Lucas and Lindsey get ready for their wedding.'

'How do you know?' Jaime turned that little adorable face of his toward him and Chase faltered a little. This time it was he who looked at Peyton for help.

'Well coz they belong together, that's why.' She supplied helplessly. What was she supposed to say?

'Well everybody used to say that you and Uncle Lucas belong together but he's marrying Lindsey.' He pointed out matter of factly. Peyton felt as if she had been sucker punched right in the gut. A giant smouldering boulder logged in her throat and she couldn't breathe. A fresh wave of tears rolled down her cheeks. For a long time she had believed that she and Luke belonged together, hell she still did, and she hoped that by some miracle they would be together once again, someday. But hearing it from the mouths of the babes, it was like a confirmation.

'Well people were wrong about Luke and me; he didn't love mesas much as your daddy loves your mum.' She said soothingly though she felt like she was being ripped apart as she came to the realisation how true her words actually could be. Peyton felt Chase squeeze her shoulder in comfort. She grabbed a Kleenex on the night stand and dabbed away her tears.

'Okay how about since we are all sad, we go and cheer ourselves up with rock band.' Chase suggested cheerfully.

'No, I'm okay.' Jaime said sadly.

'Fine, just thought I would let you prove that you are better than me, but if you wanna be chicken about it and prove me right, then s'okay.' Peyton looked at Jaime hoping that he would take Chase's bait, she didn't know how else to help him.

'You're not better than me!' he cried out in mock horror.

'Are too!'

'Fine! I'll show you!' Jaime said jumping off the bed.

'Race you.' Chase lunged for him. Jaime squealed and took off down the stairs with Chase hot on his heels. Peyton laughed at their antics. Chase was just another six year old. She took a deep breath to calm herself. She gasped when she bumped into someone-Lucas! She would have lost her balance if his hands hadn't shot out and caught her. Her heart skipped a beat and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She felt sparks of electricity emanating from his body right into hers through where he was touching her. It shot right through her to her toes and straight to her head making her feel a little light headed.

'Sorry.' She said abruptly stepping back as far away from him as much as the hallway would allow.

'I uhmm, was looking for Jaime.' He explained.

'Well he just went downstairs with Chase.' What? He was talking to her now?

'Yeah I saw them.' the few seconds of silence between them was making her squirm like an ant in a frying pan.

'Well I gotta go find them.' she escaped before he had the chance to say anything, if he had been about to say anything at all. It wasn't fair that he was able to make her feel this way, even after he was supposed to marry someone else tomorrow. A part of her hated him for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry for the late post, have exams at the moment, so I'm trying to put them first although am so excited about this story that from time to time I sneak a type in lol. I know where I want this story to go, but I'm a little fuzzy on some of the details on how to go there, so I would like a little help, any ideas are welcome.**

**Thank you to Gosal11444 and Julianafun for the amazing reviews, you guys made my day. I hope you won't be disappointed with where this story ends.**

**Keep the reviews coming!**

Peyton found them downstairs already setting up. Chase turned towards her as she came behind them and flashed a smile her way. She was still a little tense from the encounter from upstairs, that the best she could do was stretch her lips in some semblance form of a smile. Jamie looked a little relaxed now; his little face not completely free of the sadness judging by the way his mouth kept twitching.

'You okay Sawyer?' she hadn't even heard Brooke coming up behind her. She opened up her mouth to say something, probably lie but Brooke shook her head no.

'Your shoulders are as rigid as a board, what happened?' she asked concern written all over her face. Peyton sighed. This was one of the few times that Brooke was out with Owen and she would be damned if she would let her mess with Lucas bring a cloud over that. So she plastered on the best smile ever and told her not to worry about it. Good ol' LA had taught her to fake it with the best of them.

'Aunt Peyton, you coming?' Jamie was calling out to her, holding the base guitar to her. Peyton couldn't help but smile at his budding enthusiasm.

'Oh really, and what are you gonna play then?' Peyton teased gently.

'The lead guitar of course and Chase's gonna play the drums.' He said as if it was the obvious thing in the world.

'Right then, who's gonna pick the song?' she asked slinging the guitar over her shoulder; she winked at Chase who winked back smiling at them both.

'You are the music expect.' Jamie pointed out shaking his head and looking at her as if asking why his aunt Peyton was being so silly. Peyton shook her head and saw him cast a wistful look at his parents who were arguing, again fleetingly before straightening up and acting as if he didn't care. Her heart plummeted right down to his stomach and a glance at Chase confirmed that he noticed it too. Somebody needed a word with those two. She scrolled through the song list till she came to Move along by The All American rejects – Jaime's favourite band

'Alright James Lucas Scott, lets rock this party!' Chase said high fiving Jaime as the song started.

A few feet away from them Skills stood watching as the three started playing to the notes on the screen. People had started to gather around them as they sang to the lyrics, Jaime and Sawyer a bit off key. Occasionally one of them would miss a note and they would all burst out laughing with Jaime's voice the loudest. It was good to hear him laugh; Skillz knew how badly the kid had wanted it to be Haley and Nathan up there. He had seen him following them around miserably, but neither one of them had said anything!

'Nathan ...just not now okay?' he could hear Haley saying right behind him and a few seconds later she was standing next to him picking the bottles on the bar top and loading them into a bin bag.

'Maybe you should talk to him.' He suggested.

'What?' Haley said shaking her head coming back down to earth.

'Talk to him.' He said gesturing toward Nathan. Haley sighed heavily.

'Skillz it's complicated.' What she meant was she didn't want to talk about it...with anyone.

'Nah it ain't, its simple, he messed up, but you love him, so you talk it over and you forgive him and then you guys get on with it.'

'Skillz...'

'Look at him Haley, he is miserable without you.' Skillz egged. Haley inhaled deeply, trying to squash her fast rising anger. Typical, it was all about Nathan Scott's misery. _He_ had cheated on her. _He_ had lied to her over and over. How could she forgive him of that, how could she ever trust him again? She should have known better than to try and change him. She had known exactly who he was in high school, but like the moron she was she had ignored that boy, and tried to create a totally different man out of the boy. She should have known that u can't make a leopard change its spots, no matter how much you paint over them, sooner or later they reveal themselves. So now coming out of her own self reprimand she faced Skillz who was looking at her expectantly.

'Skillz this really is none of your business.' She clipped, but was taken aback when his tone came even cooler than hers.

'No its not, but its Jaime's, the one person you don't seem to be considering in all this.'

'How dare you?' she hissed anger washing over her. Of all the things that she had been accused of no-one had ever accused her of not caring about her son enough. So how dare he?!

'I'm just saying.'

'Well don't!' with that she spun around and a few seconds later she was out of the door. Skillz sighed heavily, well that had gone well hadn't it? He hadn't meant for it to go like that, but somehow he had just found himself getting so angry at her.

'Hey you okay man?' the guest of honour to this party slid over the bar stool and Skillz replaced the empty bottle in his hand with a new one.

'Yeah I'm all good.' Skills flashed him a lazy grin.

'What was that about then?' he said looking from Skillz to where his best friend had disappeared to.

'Hmm-hmm.' Skillz shrugged. As much as Skillz loved Luke, he knew that he was an unwavering Haley supporter, and he didn't want to get into an argument with him too.

'Okaaayyy.' Luke said eyeing him sceptically as he covered the mouth of the bottle with his lips taking a swig of his beer. He turned around leaning against the bar top as they watched Jaime with Chase and Peyton. They were laughing together and they seemed to be having fun with everybody singing along. Brooke Owen had taken over the mics and were singing lead.

'Hey sweetie.' Lindsey said coming up behind her and sliding her arms across his shoulders and kissing him softly.

'Hey you.' he smiled back at her and kissed her, clinging to her just a second longer.

'Great party or what?' She said as they both turned to watch Jaime and co playing and singing along. Then Peyton started dancing and jumping around like a rock star and pretty soon Jamie followed suit. A few seconds later Brooke and Peyton were thrashing their hair around wildly and Lucas couldn't help but smile, they looked like they were sixteen again. As the song came to an end they were all playing their instruments wildly bringing the whole performance o a dramatic end sending everyone to a cheering frenzy. Even he found himself laughing and clapping with the rest of them.

Jamie laughed even louder when Chase picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, then spun him around before putting him down.

'That was so much can we totally do it again?' he begged looking at Chase eagerly.

'Allow me to catch my breath for a bit little guy yeah, then we can play again.' He suggested and Jaime nodded excitedly. Chase winked at him then smiled at Peyton before heading over the bar. Peyton hi-fived Jaime again and watched him smile, for a minute there she had forgotten what that adorable little smile looked like on his cute little face. It died again so suddenly that she thought she had imagined it but that couldn't have been because it had been there for the past ten minutes. When she looked up it suddenly became clear...Nathan. Peyton nodded at him curtly, she was still annoyed with him and Haley for ignoring Jaime like that.

'You guys were great.' He said beaming down at his son.

'Thanks daddy.' Jaime twisted on the side and Peyton felt him slide his little hand into hers and she squeezed it a little for support.

'You wanna play with me?'

'Nah, that's okay, maybe later. Right now me and aunt Peyton are going to go to the moon bounce.' He dragged Peyton as they headed outside.

'The moon bounce huh?' Peyton asked him when they finally came to a stop in front of the gigantic air filled balloon.

'Yup.' They both stood in front of it, hands on their hips as if they were getting ready to go to battle. Peyton wanted to ask him about what had just happened back there in the house but she sensed that he didn't want to talk about it at that moment.

'You guys were just gonna ditch me in there all by myself?' said a voice behind them. Neither of them turned, they knew instantly who it was.

'You are a big man, you can take of yourself.' Jaime said quietly. Chase chuckled; the kid was way too smart for his own age. He stood in line with them, hands on his hips, facing the moon bounce.

'We gonna just stand here or we gonna go in?' he asked finally facing them after about two minutes of complete silence.

'Peyton is scared.' Jaime explained.

'Am not.' she jumped in defensively.

'Yeah she is, she doesn't trust anything with nothing in it.'

'It's got air in it.' Chase pointed out chuckling.

'Can you touch air? No, so it's nothing.' She said nervously.

'We'll protect you, wont we Jaime?' he said holding out his hand to her.

'Yeah we'll protect you.' Jaime offered her his hand too.

Peyton eyed the two hands in front of her and the moon bounce tentatively. She didn't like balloons or anything of that kind. The last time she had been in a moon bounce she had been eight, just before her mom died and it had not ended well. So she was reluctant to go in since. No, reluctant wasn't the right word for it, she downright refused. But today, here was this kid, she loved more than any other kid in the world, and he was looking at her with the biggest bluest eyes in the whole world that said he needed her. Did she love him enough to overcome her fears though and go in there? What the hell, it wasn't even a question that needed asking. There was no two ways about it.

'Let's do this.' She said placing her hands on theirs, letting them drag her inside. When she stepped in the moon bounce tilted a little propelling her forward. She screamed in shock as she hit the bouncy floor face first. She was immediately flipped over onto her back by the force of Chase and Jaime jumping on either side of her. She had been so unprepared for it that it knocked the wind out of her for a while.

'You okay?' chase offered her his hand again which she took gladly. Jaime jumped again, higher this time sending them both toppling over, with Peyton's arms flailing wildly in the air, trying to grab anything to hold on to, preferably chase but he was nowhere to be found, he had his own balance issues to tackle. Jaime laughed when they both ended up on all fours. He jumped on Chase and he collapsed like a sack of potatoes igniting a series of endless giggles from Jaime. Peyton couldn't help it, she had to laugh, he looked ridiculous lying down like that on his face, arms and legs all spread out. She was having so much fun with these two that she found herself wondering why they hadn't ever hung out before. Then she remembered the fact that he had been Brooke's boyfriend at that time and she and Brooke hadn't been talking, made it an abomination at that time.

'You know it's easier not to fight it and just go with the flow.' Jaime said when he could catch a breath. 'Oh come on aunt Peyton, it's not that bad I promise.' Peyton looked around the big thing that she was in; she had already won half the battle, so what the heck?

'Just go with the flow huh?' she said eyeing him mischievously. She jumped up and hit the ground with such force that startled all of them. Jaime went flying up in the air landing on top of chase who groaned loud at the force. They all burst out laughing.

'Aside from what I'm pretty sure is a broken a broken rib, that wasn't pretty bad Peyton.' He whizzed. A few minutes later, after they had given Chase a chance to recover they all started jumping up and down, occasionally they would spread their arms and legs in the air like little kids, well like Jaime actually.

Haley was outside avoiding Nathan who was once again insisting that they had to talk, that she had to hear him out. Didn't he take the hint? She didn't want to hear about it, all his excuses; she was just tired of them. And the worst thing about it was that she hadn't been surprised at all. Something caught her attention, bringing her out of her own thoughts. It was a scream coming from the moon bounce. It wasn't just the scream itself but the tone, she knew that voice.

'Jaime?!' she yelled out walking briskly towards the entrance. What she saw when she poked her head stopped her heart cold.

'James Lucas Scott! Come out of there right now!' she screamed at them startling them so much that they lost their balances and collapsed on their backs. They were quiet for a few seconds then they burst into laughter, raising their heads to look at her.

'Hey mama.'

'Get down here now!' she ordered sternly before throwing the two adults a very disapproving look. Jaime slowly scrambled out of the moon bounce with Peyton and Chase closely following behind.

Jaime could see that his momma was angry again. What he didn't understand was why this time, he hadn't asked her to play rock band, and he had left her alone like she said.

'Momma?'

'Go into the house Jamie.' She said not looking down at him but firing daggers at the two adults.

'But momma...'

'Now Jamie!' he groaned hanging his head and dragging his feet as he went.

'Hey Haley.' Chase finally said after a few seconds of tense silence. He had the strongest urge to run and hide under the bed. It was like he was a little boy again and he had been just caught doing something he shouldn't have been.

'Are you guys crazy?!' Haley fumed. 'How can you be so careless with him?' her eyes were so red with anger and she was clenching her fists so hard trying to hide her trembling hands.

'We were in there with him Haley. We wouldn't have let anything happen to him.' Peyton tried to soothe her friend's fears. She knew she had a lot going on at the moment so her irrational fear was understandable.

'Anything could have happened to him, this might be alright for you, but not for him, it's like you forget that heists a little boy.' Peyton felt the annoyance that she had felt with Haley before rising again, at an amazing speed.

'You know I would never do anything to hurt him. We were just playing with him, he was lonely today, wanted somebody to play with him, preferably you.'

'Are you saying that I don't pay enough attention to my own son?' Haley seethed.

'You've been busy arguing with Nathan that you forgot all about Jamie. He just wanted to play one game of Rock Band with you.' the fact that she didn't dispute her question didn't go unnoticed by either one of them.

'I was busy Peyton, you know making sure that this party for my best friend and his _fiancé_ goes well.' Peyton smirked at her obvious emphasis of fiancé.

'Oh come on Haley, Lucas has a million of friends, any of which could have been at hand anytime. No, what you were doing was being busy avoiding Nathan that you didn't even realise that you were hurting the one person stuck in the middle of this.' She pointed out calmly. She didn't even know how she was so calm. She was getting angrier and angrier every second this conversation was taking place.

Chase looked between the two women, right now they didn't look like friends at all. They looked like they were about to tear each other to pieces. He didn't exactly have all the details about what exactly was going on but had the idea that he wasn't needed anymore.

'I'm just gonna go.' He said quietly, but neither woman looked at him, they were staring each other down so slipped of quietly just as Haley ground out, 'you don't know what you are talking about.'

'I know that you so busy punishing Nathan for something that he wasn't responsible for, I know that he lied to you, but he has been apologising for that forever, but somehow you are still holding on to a grudge, because you chose to believe some word of some woman over him. Yeah he did something wrong, but he still regrets it, and for someone who claimed to love him you sure acting like someone who couldn't care an ounce.' Haley wanted to punch her, right in the face and see her bleed!

'This coming from somebody who is still in love with a man who is engaged to someone else? He proposed to you and you said no and he moved on, yet here you are once again kissing him behind her back telling him that you love him. Do you think he is going to leave her for you? They are getting married Peyton, in less than 24 hours. So –playing the poor rejected little girl really doesn't washy anymore coz you broke his heart. He loves her, not you. He wants nothing to do with you. The sooner you get that through that thick little head of yours the better for everyone.' Peyton gasped loudly fighting the tears that were stinging her eyes and losing that battle. She felt as if she had reached right within her to the softest piece of her heart and stabbed it over and over with a blunt knife. She stabbed forward bringing her cold stony face right to Haley's wide eyed one. For a moment Haley thought she was going to hit her, but instead she opened her mouth and spoke, her voice void of all emotion

'Sort it out, one way or the other. forgive him or don't, that's entirely up to you, I couldn't care less one way or the other, but frankly this little song and dance that you and Nathan have is getting a little old, and everybody is tired of it.' Haley opened her mouth obviously to offer a retort of some kind, but Peyton raised her index finger halting her.

'Uh-uh! I'm not finished. Now while you and Nathan are busy tearing the strips off each other that you don't even realise how much Jaime is hurting through all this. He doesn't understand what's going on coz you won't talk to him and today the only thing he wanted was for you guys to play together as a family, and be happy even if it was just for one day. But guess you are right. The party needed your attention more.' She stepped past her and past Nathan and Lucas who were just a few feet behind them. She hadn't heard them approach and she wondered how long they had been there, and how much they heard exactly and at that moment she was trembling with anger so much and she felt so hurt, and emotionally destroyed that she didn't care.

'What's going on?' Lucas asked Haley as he and Nathan approached her.

'Nothing.' The tears that were streaming down her cheeks said otherwise. Lucas frowned looking at her. Lucas could practically feel the anger reverberating off her and he wanted to call her on it, but he had the feeling that she didn't want to talk about it.

'You okay?' he tried again.

'Of course.' She swiftly wiped away her tears. He looked at his brother for help but found that his brother was starring at his wife blankly.

'Well as long as you are okay.' He said walking off leaving a shocked Haley and Lucas behind. He had come outside just in time to hear the last bit of their conversation. He had felt like somebody had punched a hole in his chest. She was right, and remembering Jamie's face when he had suggested playing with him confirmed it. What kind of a father was he? He had been so concerned with his own problems that he hadn't thought not once what that would do to poor Jamie. And it had taken someone else pointing it out for him to realise. It was time for him to put aside his own little squabbles and concentrate solely on what was best for his son.

Lucas stared after Nathan in confusion, for somebody who had been so desperate to talk to Haley he sure wasn't acting like it. This would have been the perfect opportunity for him to talk with her, but he had just stared at her and left. Luke shook his head to clear his head and turned back to Haley.

'So you ready to tell me what that was all about? And this time, don't lie.' Haley inhaled deeply as if deciding whether to be honest or not.

'It was just a little argument that's all' She brushed the lock of hair that had fallen across her forehead.

'The kind that has you in tears?'

'Urgh, it was just about me and Nathan, then you and Lindsey.' Lucas's ears pecked up at that.

'What about me and Lindsey?'

'Was just telling her that you've found someone who really loves you and you don't love her anymore.' then for the first time since he found her she smiled at him. 'You really found yourself a keeper there Luke.' He smiled back at her. She was right Lindsey was amazing, but somehow it felt as if everyone was saying that he had never loved Peyton. He saw the lady in question a few metres away from them standing with chase and Owen. As if she could sense him watching her she turned his way. He quickly looked away.

Haley was still talking ranting about how she couldn't believe that she once thought that he and Peyton belonged together and how it was a good thing that she had said no otherwise he wouldn't have found Lindsey. How many times had he told himself that? But sometimes looking at her, he found himself wondering what life would have been like with her? But that didn't matter now; it wasn't something that he had to think about ever again. He turned toward her again and this time it was just her and chase. He was about to look away again when he saw Chase lean over and kiss her. He stopped mid breath and his heart skipped a bit. He tried to dismiss the hot fist that clenched around his heart but found it difficult as he tried focusing on his breathing.

_**An: sorry this chapter is a bit long. Also about the Haley bashing, I understand that she was angry and Nathan was wrong, I would have been angry too but I think she took it a bit far, and she was totally unfair to Peyton when she came back, and I LOVE Peyton.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**An: i hope you like this chapter. Pliz pliz review, i would love to hear you thoughts and opinions xx**_

Chapter 3

For the hundredth time that night Peyton slammed her head back against the pillow. It had been like that the whole night, tossing and turning, going over everything over and over in her mind and at the end of the day it all came up to one thing, one name – Lucas! She couldn't get him out of her mind, and she had tried, very hard. She had done the whole ice cream, alcohol and even the cheesy movies in the middle of the night but all it had made her do was think about him more and more. He was getting married today, to somebody who wasn't her as Haley had been so kind to point out the day before. For some reason as the hours ticked by it seemed to be more real. She just found it so hard to believe that she and Lucas wouldn't be spending their lives together like they had originally planned. Every day for the past four years she woke up hoping and feeling like this was all a dream or a sick joke. But no such luck, this was her life now, life without Lucas.

That thought was unbearable. It made her sick to her stomach, literally. She scrambled off the bed as she rushed to the bathroom and for the fourth time that night found herself sticking her head to the toilet.

'P. Sawyer you okay?' Brooke shouted through the bathroom door. She had come in to tell her about the dress only to for her eyes to come into view of a slamming door.

'I'm okay.' Came a muffled reply through the door right before a horrible retching. Brooke shuddered. Oh but the wonderful wonders of alcohol. Peyton had been a bit drunk at the end of the night last night, but she hadn't thought that she was that bad.

'Well you better take a shower while you are in there otherwise we are gonna be late for the wedding.'

'It starts at noon Brooke, that's hours away. Besides I'm not going!' she moaned.

'Yes you are Peyton Elizabeth, and you are going to look fabulous in the dress that I made especially for you. And you are going to show Lucas Scott exactly what he gave up.' She said sternly. She jumped back when the door was suddenly flung open.

'You want me to go to my ex-fiancé's wedding so that I can witness him saying I do to another woman?' she asked incredulously.

'Well technically he wasn't really your fiancé was he?'

'Bitch!' it always amazed her how she always forgot that Peyton was always crabby first thing in the morning.

'Okay, maybe when he sees you there he will finally realise that you are the one he is meant to be with and if not, seeing him get married will finally give you that closure that you need.' She amended.

'Your logic really sucks!' Brooke reared back as the door slammed in her face. Seconds later it was yanked open.

'Why do you even want me to go so bad?' she frowned at her, her hands on her hips glaring at her.

'Coz it will be so much fun, we can make fun of Lindsey and you can steal Luke back.' She said cheerfully, too cheerful.

'Steal him back? You can't steal someone who doesn't want to be stolen Brooke, and he has made it very clear n more than one occasion that he doesn't want to be 'stolen' or otherwise.'

'But you do still want him back?'

'Of course I do, but that's beside the point. I have done nothing but fight for him ever since I got back but he doesn't want me.' She said sadly and Brooke scoffed.

'If you think that then you are as stupid as he is, and one thing I know about you my dear Sawyer is that you are not stupid. You just have to show him that you are serious about wanting him and that he belongs with you.' Peyton sighed. She loved Brooke's optimism, she really did, but when it came to her relationship with Luke, any optimism she had ever had, had vanished.

'Don't you think I have tried?' she said defeated. 'I'm tired Brooke, I can't force him to be with me.'

'See that's not the attitude to have when you are trying to win back the love of your life.' She pointed out.

'Leave it Brooke. I can't go to his wedding. I don't want to see him pledge to love somebody else forever. I just can't. Seeing him say I do, will tear me apart. So I'm not going.' She closed the door and started the shower signalling the end of the conversation. Brooke blinked several times trying to banish the tears that were threatening to fall. 'Oh Peyton what am I going to do with you?' she thought to herself. She didn't realise it but she needed to go to the wedding, to be able to let go if nothing else. Because she truly believed that unless she actually saw him get married she would never be able to truly let him go. And the way things were going she needed to let him go otherwise she was in for a life time of heartache.

She sighed and went down stairs to start on breakfast. Peyton came down twenty minutes later dressed in black shorts; a rolling stones t-shirt and red converse shoes. Her hair was tied in a messy pony tail and she looked like the teenage Peyton again.

'I'm going for a drive.' She said swiping her keys and an apple.

'No you are not!' Brooke said firmly, slapping the bottom of Peyton's hand and sending the apple flying. She caught it mid air and put it back in the fruit basket.

'What the..?'

'I have been slaving over the stove to soak up that alcohol of your that you decided to down as if you had a tank for a stomach and you are gonna eat the breakfast that I made for you.' she said sternly placing a plate full of waffles and scrambled eggs in front of her accompanied by a cup of freshly brewed coffee. Peyton went for the coffee first, she really didn't feel like eating but then judging by the look on Brooke's face not eating wasn't an option. Besides she never really felt herself till she had a dose of coffee. She watched as Brooke pulled a chair opposite her and smiled at her brightly. Peyton stared at her in confusion. Something was up, when she smiled that brightly first thing in the morning even for her, something was up.

'And then maybe you can tell me why you were making out with my high school boyfriend yesterday. Twice!' she held out her fingers for emphasis.

'Oh crap.' She muttered under her breath pushing her plate aside. But apparently it was loud enough for Brooke to hear.

'Yeah...crap, so you wanna tell me what that was about?' she dropped her head on the counter. No, she really didn't want to explain. For a moment there she had completely forgotten about chase. Double crap.

'It was nothing.' She said instead.

'Didn't look like nothing.'

'He was just trying to make Luke jealous and then you.'

'Really?' she said as it finally dawned on her what Peyton had really said.

'Do you really care?'

'No...Yes...no I'm with Owen now, so no I don't care.' Peyton didn't believe her, the way she had jumped at her about their kiss was no way a person who didn't care would.

'He still cares just in case you do actually care.' She turned and grabbed her keys and pretended not to see Brooke's sparkle of curiosity. She heard her shout that she didn't as she got out of the door. Peyton smiled to herself. Of course she didn't (!) but right now she didn't have time to think about that, she was going for a drive to clear her head, to figure out what she was going to do next since the reason for her being here had suddenly vanished. As she drew her car off the driveway her thoughts were once again drawn to the previous night. After her little argument with Haley she had gone back to the bar and told Skillz to keep them coming, and that she had and she had knocked them back one after the other none stop. She couldn't remember much after that. The next thing she knew she was outside leaning against chase.

'_Heeeyy' she had slurred at him. He had just looked down at her amused._

'_Having fun?'_

'_Yeah loads.' She said between drunken hiccups._

'_You are a lousy drunk sawyer.'_

'_No I'm not drunk.' She shook her head in denial but that didn't turn out to be a good idea as immediately her head began spinning. 'Oh.' She tilted almost losing her balance. Chase's arms had shot out to catch her before she fell._

'_Easy there tiger. What happened when I left you with Haley?' his amusement quickly turned to concern. He didn't know Peyton that well but from what he knew about her she didn't seem like the type to get absolutely plastered._

'_She is a bitch.' She said stumbling away from him to lean against the railing._

'_Riiigghht.' He drawled following her. 'I assume this is about Luke?' it didn't take a genius to know that the girl was still in love with him. As soon as he said the name her face dissolved into tears._

'_Oh no no no, I didn't mean to upset you.' he didn't do well with women in tears, they always unnerved him._

'_He is getting married tomorrow and not to me!' she whined before she collapsed into heart wrenching sobs. Chase's eyes widened and he released a string of curses that would have made his grandmother was out his mouth with soap. He should have just kept his mouth shut that's what he should have done. but oh no he had to open his mouth and try to be all sensitive... look how well that turned out. He looked to Brooke for help but she was busy making out with Owen._

_Peyton could feel herself losing control, that's the one thing she hated about being drunk, the loss of control. She lifted her eyes up to apologise to chase he planted his lips on hers. She froze shocked all the alcohol leaving her brain immediately._

'_Errmmm, huh...' she chuckled nervously silently begging him to explain._

'_Lucas is looking, 3 o'clock.' He explained. She turned around and her eyes met Luke's disapproving ones._

'_Oh.'_

'_Yeah.' Chase nodded smiling at her. They started walking following slowly behind Brooke and Owen. Peyton watched him as he watched them. She wasn't the only one who had it really bad._

'_You miss her.' she pointed out. He looked at her blankly and she pointed at Brooke. He nodded in understanding._

'_Everyday.' He said softly._

'_I'm sorry.' She took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. She knew hard it was to see somebody you couldn't get out of your mind. She would imagine that it would be doubly hard if the person they moved on with was your best friend. She didn't know what prompted her, whether it was the alcohol or something else but when Brooke stopped and looked their way she took his face in her hands and kissed him. Later she would blame it all on the alcohol. This time it was he who froze and looked at her questioningly._

'_Brooke was looking.' She explained and he nodded smiling at her softly._

'_We are quite a pair you and I.' He took her hand again as they followed their best friends. She remembered throwing up a lot and not a lot after that. The next thing she knew she had been home in her bed._

Lucas smiled as he gave himself a final once over. He was getting married in less than an hour to the woman he loved. He should be happy, he was happy yet he still felt like there was something missing.

'Ready?' Nate offered him his jacket to put on.

'Yeah.' He smiled at his brother through the mirror.

'You sure you wanna do this.' Nate asked the question that every best man was supposed to ask his groom right before the wedding, only in his case he really meant it.

'Of course I do, after today I will be the happiest man on earth.' He smiled bashfully with such conviction that Nathan also believed him and hoped that it was true.

'Who would have thought six years ago that we would all be here?' He met his brother's eyes through the mirror which is why he was able to see the shadow that passed over his brother's eyes. Nathan sighed; he hoped it wasn't because of what he thought it was.

'Yeah well, its funny how things change, but I would say they have changed for the best.' He said brightly and for a moment Nathan wasn't sure who he was trying to convince.

'Really? You are on your own there coz I would say that my marriage being on the verge of a collapse is not 'for the best' as you so kindly put it.' Luke's face immediately fell in regret.

'I'm sorry man, I didn't think.' Nathan shook his head telling him not to worry about it. He tried to laugh it off but it just came out hollow and empty.

'How is that going anyway?'

'She's still not talking to me, even when I pick up Jamie.' He looked sadly. 'I don't know what else to do, I have done everything I can to fight for her but she is having none of it. I know that she needs time but I guess when she said that she should never have tried to change me and that she should have known I would never change that really got me. I just can't believe that she would readily take that nutter's word over mine just like that, after everything we've been through.' By the time he finished he sounded so angry and so broken that Lucas, a man of many words didn't know what to say to him.

'I'm sorry Nate.' it was all he could say. 'She'll come around he offered feebly.

'I don't think so Luke, but thanks all the same.' he smiled sadly. 'Now let's not talk about this anymore. It's supposed to be a happy day, your day.' He smiled. Just then there was a knock on Luke's back door.

'Will you get that I need to get the flower thingy for my button hole from the fridge.' Nate chuckled at his brother relieving most of the tension in the room.

He opened the door to find the last person he expected to find there, especially today.

'Sawyer?' he asked surprised. He took in her dishevelled appearance, unruly locks falling from her messy pony tail across the forehead. She was nervous swaying from side to side on the balls of her feet.

'Can I talk to Luke?' she said hoarsely. She had been crying. His heart went out to her.

'You sure that's a good idea?' he didn't, he knew how this would end, with her in tears and more heartbroken than she was now, if that was even possible. If there was one thing that he knew about his brother, it was that when he decided that he loved somebody, he bent over backwards proving it and poured his heart and soul into it, and right now he had decided that he loved Lindsey, which didn't spell good news for Peyton.

'Can I talk to him please?' Peyton wasn't really sure what she was doing here, even more what she was going to say to him when she saw him. When she had left home she had driven around aimlessly with the top down trying to avoid anything that had to do with Lucas Scott, but all she had managed to be think of nothing but him. Talk about getting your own front row seat to a movie down memory lane. Every place she had driven through had some memory or the other of them and it had ripped her apart. Somehow she had found herself in front of the church. She had sat there, not sure why, thinking about that fateful night that had changed their lives forever, wishing that she had said yes, so that it would be her he was marrying today not somebody else. She had stared at the doors endlessly and seen herself and Lucas smiling with all their friends around them, ecstatically happy...and married. Another car had honked furiously behind her snapping her out of her day dream that would never ever be, unless she did something about it. That's how she had found herself here, in front of his house.

'Sawyer...?'

'Nate, what's taking you so long? Who's at the door?' Luke asked coming behind him. He stopped short when he realised who it was exactly at the door. Blue eyes clashed with green fiercely, Peyton's pleading and Luke's defiant as they were sent tumbling back into the tunnels of the past.

'What do you want?' Luke was the first one to snap out of it. He wasn't going to do this with her, especially not today. He was done with the past coz all it ever did was hurt him. He didn't want to hurt anymore, and Lindsey offered him that world, one that was free of heartache.

'Hey Luke.' She tilted her head to her side the way she always did when she was nervous. He couldn't fail to notice her red rimmed swollen eyes she had been crying. Yet even with the bags under her eyes she still looked as beautiful as ever. He faltered, he could tell her to walk or he could ask her to come in and have her say, giving them both the closure they needed. He stepped aside and let her in. Nathan excused himself saying that he was going to bring the car around. He squeezed Peyton's shoulder in encouragement.

Lucas watched her as she walked around his bedroom. He couldn't help but remember the times she used to walk around like that in nothing but his t-shirt. He shook the mental image out of his head and looked at her now as she ran a hand over the pictures of his friends and family, but not quite touching them. When she came to Lindsey's she froze and her hand dropped to her side.

'What are you doing here Peyton?' he repeated harshly. She spun around facing him eyes wide. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

'You look good.' She finally said.

'Peyton...?' he barked impatiently causing her to jump and he immediately regretted it. She bowed her head and wouldn't look at him. He sighed running his hands through his hair impatiently, there was no point to this and he was about to tell her that when she looked up at him fresh tears streaming down her cheeks.

'You can't marry her.' she whispered through her sobs. He reared back as if she had struck him. He didn't know what he had expected, but not this?

'What, why?'

'Because I love you.'

'I love Lindsey.'

'And I think you love me too.' She continued as if he hadn't spoken at all. 'This is why you should marry me.' She clutched her hands to her chest desperately. He never wanted to see her like this, no matter what had happened between them, he had never wanted to see her like this.

'You said no Peyton, I asked you and you said no!'

' And I wish I had said yes Luke, I wake up every day wishing that I had said yes so that it would be you and me that were getting married today.' How many times had he wished for that? The two of them married just like he had envisioned since eighth grade. But she had squashed that dream with one single word. He didn't even realise that it was the first time they argued about it and she didn't say that she didn't say no, she said someday.

'But you didn't, now it's too late' He said coldly.

'No, no don't say that.' She shook her head vehemently walking towards him. 'It's not too late Luke.' She took his face in her hands forcing him to look at her. When their eyes met, he felt the magnetising pull that had always drawn him to her. He stared into those hypnotising green pools and felt himself spiralling back into the past. He mentally shook himself; he was getting married, to Lindsey! So he shouldn't be here!

'Peyton...' he covered her hands with his to release himself but she shook her hand no.

'We can leave today, we can go to Vegas and get married, right now, or we can do anything you want.' She pleaded desperately. Luke opened his mouth to protest but she covered his lips with hers. She didn't want to give him the chance to reject her. When he didn't pull back she took the chance to deepen the kiss. Luke's mind blanked and all thoughts scrambled in his brain and he couldn't think. Rationally he knew that he shouldn't be doing this that this was wrong on so many levels it was way beyond wrong. But instead of pushing her away his hands snaked her around her and he pulled her close. She ran her tongue on the seam of his lips. He opened his mouth to protest pushing her away but she took the opportunity to thrust her tongue in his mouth. He groaned as if in pain but he pulled her closer, moulding her to him and pretty soon he began to respond, kissing her back, his tongue duelling with hers.

A moan rang out between them, she wasn't sure whether it was him or her, she really didn't care. All she knew was that it felt like coming home...she was home, right where she belonged. It was him and her again, the way it was supposed to be.

There was a sound from somewhere in the room which caused them to spring apart. It was Nathan clearing his throat. They stared at each other in shock, Lucas not sure what exactly had happened or what had come over him, while Peyton couldn't believe what had happened and hoped that he wouldn't do the same thing he did the other time in his office.

'Am I interrupting something?' Nathan asked looking from Lucas's messy hair to Peyton's swollen lips.

'no.' Luke ground out running a hand over his hair trying to smooth it down. He let out a string of curses. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. What the hell had he been thinking? The whole point of letting her in was so that they finally sort things out and shut that chapter of their lives once and for all, but what the hell had he gone and done? He might as well have gashed new ones with a blunt knife. He punched out the walls in anger and frustration making both Nathan and Peyton jump.

'Lucas!'

'Luke!' they both gasped out simultaneously. He was mad, furious even, At himself for letting this happen and at Peyton for coming here, for saying no in the first place, setting this whole thing in motion.

'Get out!' he barked turning to her ignoring the pain in his knuckles.

'Luke.' Nathan reprimanded his brother but Lucas ignored him. His eyes were on Peyton the whole time. She looked as if he had just shattered her whole world. And he just had.

'Luke.' She whispered trying again stepping forward. She wasn't going to give him up without a fight. But when he flinched as if she scalded him, she knew that was it, for good this time. If he had taken a bullet to her heart, that would have hurt less.

'Just go.' He said coldly, his face emotionless. Just then she didn't recognise him at all. She looked at him, searching his eyes for any sign of the man she loved, the man who had promised to love her forever, wait for her, and she couldn't find him. The eyes that used to bring her peace and tranquillity by just looking at her now sent a chill down her spine and brought with them nothing but anguish. She studied him trying to memorise his features then realised that she didn't want to remember this man, not him. The man she wanted to remember was the man who would just look at her and she would know that everything was alright in her world, the man who would kiss her and she would feel like she could do anything, be anyone. Not this man. She gave him one final look, his image blurry through her film of tears before walking out of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**A.n: sorry for the late update, I've had exams and had to concentrate on them. Thank you so much for the reviews, they were really inspiring! To hilarie3 I really like the way you think.**

Brooke slowly unfolded herself out of her car. It looked like almost everyone was here. She immediately spotted Skillz, Mouth and Millicent leaning against the back of Skillz car.

'What's up , don't have a date?' Skills half teased looking behind her.

'Ha-ha very funny...not! Owen decided to take his buddy chase on a camping trip, Instead of coming as my date. Who does that?' she fumed. Skillz smirked knowingly.

'Beer?' he chucked a can at her.

'Wait, you are tailgating at Luke's wedding?' it was her turn to smirk.

'Like you don't want one.' she smiled at him and offered the beer to Millie who declined saying that she was the designated driver.

'So where's Peyton?' He asked the question he was sure the other two wanted to know as well.

'She's not coming.' She stated simply with no explanation. The other two nodded in understanding while Skillz shook his head.

'Damn, well that's too bad.'

'Really and why is that?' she raised her eyebrow up at him

'This wedding would have had some much needed drama.'

'Oh I'm glad my friend's misery is a source of amusement for you.' her lips twisted in disapproval and Skillz immediately felt bad.

'that's not what I meant, you know I love , I do, but I never thought that she would just sit by and watch the man she loves marry another.' Brooke agreed with him hundred percent but one thing she knew about was fighting for somebody who didn't love you back, it was exhausting and futile and left you as a wreck. 'Besides if she turns up, maybe Luke will finally come to his senses.' Brooke laughed.

'I thought you liked Lindsey?'

'I do, and so do you, but we both love Sawyer and we know who she belongs with don't we?' he smirked arrogantly.

'Yeah well, maybe we were wrong, all of us.' she whispered. She had been wrong when she thought that Luke loved her in high school, maybe she was wrong about him loving Peyton as well.

'Maybe we can kidnap Lindsey and put sawyer in the dress and when Luke lifts the veil, then bam, the real woman of his dreams.' The all burst out laughing with broke swatting him gently on the arm.

'Or maybe she could come in just when they are asking if there is anyone who objects to the wedding...and bam that's her queue.'

'Skillz I don't think they do that in real weddings.' Brooke pointed out and skillz's face fell in mock disappointment.

'Well dang, how are we gonna stop this wedding then?' he whined. For a moment he looked like Jamie when he wasn't getting his way that Brooke had to smile. Those two hung out way too much together.

'We are not, this is what Luke really wants, he seems really happy, so we should be happy for him.'

'Do you really believe that coz I think it's a truck load of baloney' Of course she didn't believe it, but it wasn't like she was going to tell him that. What would be the point? There was nothing they could do about it. The one person who could have done something about it had failed and the other didn't want to do something about it, and she prayed that her best friend would be able to let go and finally move in some day.

'Alright genius, come on let's go...' she pulled him and they headed for the church.

'You know what else would be totally awesome?' He said mimicking the typical TV cheerleader voice as they entered the chapel. Brooke chuckled.

'No, but I'm sure you are about to tell me.'

'...if Luke said the wrong name at the altar, like Ross in friends.' He said excitedly his eyebrows inching up comically. Brooke laughed again.

'Give it up Skillz, this wedding is happening whether you like it or not.' She led him towards the front pew.

'I was just...'

'Well don't.' Brooke said sharply. She winced as she saw Skillz shrink back into himself. She hadn't meant to sound so harsh but then she wasn't going to apologise for it either coz she really didn't want to talk about it anymore. This day was going to be hard enough as it is without indulging on stupid fantasies and what if's. She needed to be strong for Peyton coz she was already a mess as it was and after today she was sure that she would be destroyed.

It wasn't soon after they sat down that Luke and Nathan came in standing at the altar. Five minutes later with everyone sitting down the wedding march started. Lily walked in throwing rose petals in the air. Brooke smiled, she had to. Lily looked too cute, it just reminded her and reinforced her own dreams. Haley walked in after Lily, she was smiling her eyes roaming around the chapel, taking in everyone, but when those eyes landed on Nathan the smile disappeared to nothing but a strained stretch of her lips. Brooke sighed as she realised that she hadn't talked with her friend in a while. She was busy looking after Peyton that she had lost touch with everything else. She wasn't complaining, it just felt like she was neglecting everything and everyone else. She knew about Haley's marriage problems but what she didn't know about was ho w she was feeling, or how she was doing, and she felt bad about that.

She was yanked out of her thoughts by the arrival of Lindsey. Her head turned simultaneously with everyone else's. Her breath hitched and the first thing she thought was it was a good thing Peyton wasn't here. Lindsey looked...amazing, definitely not how you wanted the woman who was marrying the love of your life looking. She looked at Lucas who was grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat. Maybe they all had been wrong after all; maybe he really did love Lindsey instead of Peyton.

To say that he had been nervous would have been the understatement of the century. He had huge butterflies in his stomach doing the rumba and had felt literally sick to his stomach. Then he had remembered the anger he had felt right before they left his house and it had simmered right up again extinguishing all the butterflies in one fell swoop.

Nathan had asked him moments ago if he was really sure that he wanted to go through with this because once he said I do there was no taking it back, that was it. Luke had assured him that he wouldn't want to be taking it back. Nathan had gone on to lecture him about the sanctity of marriage blah blah. Luke had laughed telling him that was what the priest was for and what he wanted right now was his brother, his best man.

But as he wondered into the church he found his eyes wondering, and he told himself sternly that he was not looking for _her_. His eyes landed on Brooke who smiled tightly at him. Before he had the chance to wonder whether she wasn't here at all, or maybe she was but sitting somewhere else the double doors opened and right in the middle stood Lindsey. His breath stopped, she looked so beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever seen her. At that moment everything was right, like it belonged and he had never been surer that he was doing the right thing. And also at that moment blind panic hit him, he was getting married...today...to Lindsey. What the hell was he doing? This wasn't how things were supposed to be? Could he really marry her while he still had unfinished business with another woman? He looked around desperately, searching for clarity, any sign that he was doing the right thing, that this would work out. His eyes finally landed on Lindsey as she walked towards him. When she smiled at him, winking at him secretly, he was reminded again why he loved her. He could see it in her eyes; she was completely in love with him. He smiled back at her his faith restored. Peyton Sawyer was in the past and Lindsey was the future, that was all there was to it.

As the priest began, Lindsey took his hands in her and squeezed them reassuringly. His eyes snapped up and clashed with hers, and those doubts crept up again. Was he doing the right thing? Was this what he really wanted? He had kissed Peyton, more than once and he couldn't forget what _she _had said to him this morning. Could he just forget about her and marry someone else right now? His eyes roamed the church once more and he came up more confused than before.

'...not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace...' the pastor was saying but Lucas wasn't listening. Just then the old church wooden doors groaned open and right in the middle stood the cause of all the confusion. She looked...beautiful, angelic in the green short dress that he was sure complimented her eyes. She stood there starring right at him, as if seeing right through him, right into his soul. And he stood there waiting, like everyone else, waiting for her to say something, anything. He felt a new wave of emotions churn inside him...anger, disappointment...hope?

Brooke spun around along with everyone else as the door opened.

'Oh no.' she gasped in dismay seeing her best friend. _Please Peyton don't do this, anything but this. _She sent a silent message to her friend. She wanted her friend to get her man she really did, but not this way. At this point things had already gone too far, it was up to Lucas now.

'Yeah! I knew it! Go sawyer!' Skillz punched the air triumphantly next to her.

Everybody waited looking between Lindsey's rigid body to Peyton's frozen one. Peyton sucked in shaky breath, eyes wide and opened her mouth to speak...

A.n** sorry this chapter is short, wrote it over a couple of days and I am lost at the moment. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Peyton froze. Everybody's eyes seemed to be on her and for the life of her she didn't seem to get her feet to obey her command to move! Talk about bad timing. She had known that when she got here the service would have started, but she had hoped that she could just slip in and sit at the back and when the ceremony was finished, she would just slip out again and no one would be none the wiser. Stupid ancient chapel doors! When was the last time that anybody had fixed them anyway? Now everybody was starring at her including the bride and groom. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. What was she going to say anyway? What explanation did she have? Her eyes landed on Luke. He looked confused, angry? Well what else was new? He seemed to be angry at her all the time lately.

What was she even doing here? She was obviously a fan of punishment and heartbreak at the hands of the blonde, otherwise she, like anybody with any sense at all, wouldn't be here at all. After the whole fiasco at Luke's she had felt like somebody had ripped out her heart and crushed it. All she had done all the way home was cry her eyes out which would explain the swelling and the redness just in case anyone asked.

She had found the dress that Brooke had hung on the back of her door. She had starred at it for hours, going over everything that had happened that day. She had been about to chuck into the bin when she thought...'fuck it.' she had basically humiliated herself when it came to Lucas and basically when it came to her pride regarding Lucas Scott she was scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

She supposed when it came right down to it, she was here because she wanted to see if he could really do it, could marry someone else who wasn't her, after promising to lover her forever. Because she could never do it, she could never marry someone else who wasn't him.

'Did you have something to say young lady?' the priest was asking her bringing her out of her revere. She sucked in a deep breath trying to quench the feeling of drowning, the immense feeling of panic that was eating her up. Of course she had something she wanted to say...like he shouldn't be doing this! It was supposed to be her up there. If she had known that her saying someday meant she was losing him for good then she would have said yes coz someday was now and she loved him, so much, and she knew he loved her too. He had to. He couldn't have gotten over her that fast, could he? She lifted up her eyes and met his, searching, looking for any sign that there was still hope for them. For a moment the mask fell and he looked so sad, hurt, his features mirrored her own pained ones. But it was gone in an instant replaced by a granite face that she thought she imagined it.

Lindsey had frozen when the door swung open; she had smiled cynically when she saw who it was, like she had expected it. She wouldn't lie and say that when she hadn't immediately seen the other woman's face in the pews at the church among the attendees she hadn't been relieved. But she had also been expecting something like this. Wasn't it funny that on the most important day of your life you would expect someone to ruin it? But now as she looked at the man she was about to marry starring intently at his ex-girlfriend she couldn't help but wonder...was this it? The day she had always known was coming but had chosen to ignore? Was this the day that her adversary finally ruined her life? She looked at Luke for answers but his face didn't betray any emotions whatsoever.

Peyton on the other hand looked like she was about to crumble that for a moment Lindsey almost felt sorry for her, but only for a moment.

'Young lady?' the priest queried Peyton again. She shook her head slowly then remembered that he probably couldn't see her because of the distance between them.

'Uhmm – No. I was just running late sorry.' She finally managed to breathe out. She grasped the pew on her right desperately for balance and slid into it sitting down before her legs gave out.

'Alright then lets continue...' after that everything was just a blur. She felt a hand squeeze hers and was surprised to find it was Brooke. She must have slipped next to her without her noticing. Peyton offered her a watery smile of gratitude. She was glad she was here. She didn't hear much after that. She just sat there, frozen, stoic, numb, looking forward. At some point her turned to look at her and she thought, that was it, he was going to call the whole thing off, but instead, he said I do and so did she. Seconds later they were married – Mr. and Mrs. Scott. She could have said that her heart broke there and then but then again you can't break something that's already in pieces. So she didn't know what it was that she felt at that moment, but whatever it was, it hurt like hell. The organist started playing the wedding march again and they walked down the aisle, smiling broadly at everyone in their way, presenting the perfect image of the happy couple. As they walked past her Lucas paused and for the fifth time that day their eyes met. Lucas's joy faded momentarily as he looked at her. She used to think that she could read him by just looking at his eyes, but at that moment she had no idea what he was thinking. She looked away just as Lindsey grasped her husband's arm prompting him forward. Husband. That word was like a thousand lashes with a barbed wire on her back. He was a husband now, and not hers. A wave of fresh new tears stung her eyes but she wouldn't cry, not yet, not while everybody was still here.

She could feel their eyes on her, all of them filled with sympathy, pity and some were filled with curiosity. She should have never sat at the back; she should have just braved it at that time and gone to the front that way she wouldn't see them stare at her now. Better yet she should have never turned up coz all it had done was add more anguish in her life. What did she think she would achieve by turning up here, Aside from providing the residents of tree hill with more ammunition for the Peyton saga.

'Peyton?' Brooke shook her lightly after everyone had left, but her friend just sat there frozen, nit moving. Brooke was beginning to worry. She had been like this for the past ten minutes.

'He said I do Brooke.' she said finally after a long pause. Brooke's heart sank. She was really starting to wish that she hadn't convinced her into coming. She couldn't even remember her reasoning behind it but she had thought that it would help somehow, but this? This wasn't right.

'I know sweetie.' She said softly, rubbing her arms soothingly. Peyton was still starring forward, not blinking, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

'He said he loved me, he promised, but he couldn't wait. He said he would leave me, but just like everyone else he left.' She had turned to her then and Brooke could see the pain, the hurt in her shattered eyes. Brooke let the tears that were stinging her eyes fall. She pulled her friend close and hugged her tightly. They both sat there for what seemed like hours, crying silently, holding each other.

The doors burst open and Millie came crashing in eyes wide with panic. Peyton and Brooke broke apart and swivelled towards her.

'It's Jamie!'

'What about Jamie?' it was Peyton who asked furiously wiping her face smudging her make up along the way as they rushed to her.

'He is missing, we can't find him!'

'Oh no!' Peyton cried out panic welling inside her as she thought of Jamie's little face. Her own drama with Lucas seemed miniscule compared to this and she quickly pushed it to the back of her mind. She and Brooke both rushed outside to find people had already gathered around. Brooke rushed to Nathan who was sobbing uncontrollably. Peyton eyes immediately scoured the crowd searching for Nathan. She heard his voice before she saw him. He was yelling at the police officer. She rushed to him and put her hand on his arm to calm him down.

'These idiots won't do their jobs and help me find my son!' he yelled.

'It's going to be okay Nate.' She wrapped her arms around him as he broke down in tears. He hugged her tight seeking comfort, answers that she wished she had for him

'We are doing everything we can ma'am.' an officer was saying to her his eyes filled with sympathy. She simply nodded and led Nathan to her car.

'Where is he Sawyer? 'He asked desperately as he finally collapsed on her driver's seat.

'I don't know Nate.' She said softly. 'But he is going to be fine, you will see. He is gotta be.' She assured him while she knew she had no right to make promises like that. The last part was said more to herself than anything. He had to be okay, he was just a kid, didn't know any better. He still had his whole life ahead of him.

A scream from Haley brought Nathan bolting upright and within a second he was next to her leaving Peyton to trail behind him.

'What, what is it?' he was grasping Haley's upper arms desperately barely refraining from shaking the answers out of her. She looked at him coldly that he let her go so fast it was as if she burned him.

'Your girlfriend took him.' Her voice was emanating ice chips. Nathan stepped back confused.

'What...?'

'Carrie!' she fired at him furiously. Nathan paled and looked like he was going to be sick.

'How do you...'

'Know? Chuck's mom saw her. She didn't think anything of it coz she used to be our nanny!' she spat at him.

Nora, chuck's mom sniffed next to Haley. 'I'm sorry, if I had known...' she trailed off when Haley put a comforting arm around her.

'Its okay Nora, you weren't to know.' She shot an accusatory glance towards her estranged husband. Nathan reared back his eyes blank muttering incoherently to himself.

'Nathan?' Peyton followed him as he stumbled away shaking his head.

'She thinks it's my fault, I can see it in her eyes. She thinks it's my fault that Jamie got taken. And she is right. I brought that lunatic into our lives.' He was rumbling non-stop, he was losing it. Peyton slapped him hard across his cheek startling both of them.

'Sawyer what the hell...?'

'Snap out of it, it's not your fault but you need to keep your head on. Jamie is gonna need you when he gets back.'

'What if he never comes back sawyer, what if she's disappeared with him for good?' he voiced out his deepest fear. Peyton shook her head refusing to even entertain the thought.

The police finally convinced everyone to go home as they continued the search and they all convened at Haley's house. The boys refused to leave saying that they were going to continue with the search.

As she was looking around she couldn't help but notice how many lives the little boy had touched in just a few years. Everybody was silent, no sound heard, all resigned to their own thoughts, praying to whoever they believed in for salvation, for hope that the little boy they all loved so much would be returned to them safe and sound. Her eyes wandered to Haley who was hunched on the couch slowly rocking backwards and forwards, rubbing her temples. Her heart went out to her and Nathan. She couldn't even begin to imagine what they were going through. What kind of person did that? Stole someone else's child? She couldn't stand this anymore...the waiting, not knowing. Oh God, what it must be like for those two. So she marched into the kitchen and did the only thing that she could to feel like she was doing something. She smiled sadly to herself. She was her mother's daughter after all, making tea whenever there was a crisis.

'Can I help?' asked a timid voice behind her that she knew only too well. She was half tempted to tell her where to go, more than half tempted. But then the little face that flashed in her mind reminded her that what was going on here was way bigger than both of them, bigger than any of her troubles so she tried to smile and said as politely as she could to grab the mugs shocking them both. They worked in silence, neither having nothing to say to the other, nothing the other wanted to hear anyway, but both very aware that they needed to be doing something even if t was trivial otherwise they would go insane.

Everyone looked up as Peyton came in holding a tray full of steaming mugs and closely followed by Lindsey. They seemed almost... civil.

'What the...' Brooke uttered quietly causing Haley to look up probably thinking it was about Jamie. But they didn't have time to ponder the weirdness of it all the front door burst open bringing with the boys. Haley was the first to spring out of her chair rushing toward them.

'Anything? She directed the question to Lucas desperately searching behind them. Lucas glanced at his brother before shaking his head sadly. Haley broke down, her body trembling as sobs wrecked her body. Nathan, his heart breaking for his wife reached out to her but she moved so swiftly out of his reach as if he had scorched her. He felt as f he had been sucker punched in the gut.

'Don't!' she spat at him venomously.

'Haley...' he pleaded reaching for her despite himself, but again just like before she moved away from him as if she couldn't bare for him to touch her, and by the look in her eyes he guessed he was right on the money. His insides twisted as he felt nausea almost over taking him. Maybe it was selfish but they should be coming together at a time like this, comforting each other, praying together for their boy, not fighting each other.

'No!' she ground out angrily pointing an accusing finger at him. 'THIS is your entire fault!'

'Haley...'but she wasn't listening to him, she was practically trembling with fury.

'You brought that psycho into our lives! If you hadn't found this sick fascination with her then none of this would be happening.' Nathan paled all colour leaving his face as his suspicions were confirmed, she did blame him!

'That's not fair.' Peyton was instantly beside him holding him, which he was grateful for because he suddenly couldn't feel his legs and without her they would have given out.

'You can just shut up right now, cos no one is talking to you!' she turned her anger towards Peyton her eyes blazing. 'Matter of fact I am pretty sure that nobody wants you here.' Peyton paled her shade pretty close to Nathan's. It was her turn to clutch onto Nathan for support. She was tempted to look round to everyone's faces but was scared lest what she saw in their eyes confirmed what the other woman was saying

'Haley!' it was Nathan who warned this time. He understood that she was upset; hell he was just as devastated and scared as she was. But that was no excuse to go attacking their friends. She spun round to him, shooting daggers at him disregarding everybody who was now looking at them.

'If anything happens to my boy, I swear Nathan...' she shook her head and he didn't fail to notice how she referred to him as _her_ boy, not theirs

'Nothing is gonna happen to him.' he promised more to himself than her. He had to be okay, his little boy, his entire world.

'You can't know that.' Her hand flew to her mouth to hide the sob that had already escaped. No, he couldn't know that, but he could sure as hell pray. He wasn't an overly religious person but he did believe that there was somebody up there looking out for them and he just hoped that Jamie would be returned to them safe and sound.

'Mama, daddy!' Nathan froze, for a second he thought his mind was playing a cruel joke on him, and then he whirled towards the voice along with everybody else. And there coming round the hallway entrance, was his son, his pride and joy, all smiles running towards them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

'Jamie.' Haley screamed as they both started running for him. Nathan with his long strides reached him first. He scooped him up and clutched him tightly not able to believe his eyes, afraid that if he loosened his arm then he would just disappear into thin air or that this could have been just a dream.

'Daddy I can't breathe' Jamie laughed wriggling for him.

'Give him to me.' Haley clipped snatching him from his father's arms and placing him on the floor. 'You okay kiddoe?' she pattered him down checking for any broken bones, anything. Everybody rallied around them expressing their joy at the safe return of the boy they had all been worried about.

'I'm okay mama, honest.'

'I'm just checking.' She said pulling him into a tight hug, tears of gratitude and fear of what might have been.

'Buddy, how did you get here?' Lucas asked crouching in front of him. This day had nearly, almost turned into the worst day in his life, right there with the day he lost Keith. He couldn't bear to lose anybody else.

'Grandpa Dan brought me; he saved me from Nanny Carrie.' He said so innocently unaware that everybody in the room hated the man who was now standing n the middle of the room. Lucas and Haley slowly rose both standing and flanking Nathan looking at the man in question.

'See, I told you so.' He said triumphantly pointing to his new hero. Everybody froze looking at Dan with the coldest eyes they could manage. They had all loved Keith and that...man there had taken him away from them. Lindsey silently slipped her hand into her husband's and squeezed it tightly performing her first wifely duty and giving her husband the support he needed.

'Hello son.' He said to Nathan. He looked at the man who was meant to be his father, the man who had made his life a living hell ever since he was born. He was also the man who despite everything Nathan loved him because he was his father but also hated him because nothing he ever did was good enough; he had never loved him back enough to do the right thing, like not kill his own brother for an example. He had realised that he never ever wanted to be like him because that part that hated him was much, much greater than the part that loved him. And right now he was the very same man who had saved his son? What was he supposed to make of that?

'Congratulations son, she s beautiful. May you both be very happy.' Lindsey felt rather than saw her husband freeze. She could feel the tension pouring right into her.

'Get out!' he said frostily. She had never seen him that cold, it almost scared her.

'I was just making sure...' he stammered.

'I said get out.' He said again, stepping forward. Dan didn't miss the way his hands moulded into his fists, the vein in his head jutting out. He was about to said something when Nathan stepped forward besides his brother. Dan wanted to smile but figured under the circumstances it wouldn't be the right time. But it was a beautiful sight to see his boys like that, standing united against a common enemy, something they had managed all on their own despite having him as a father.

Lucas was seething! Of all people in the world, why did it have to be him? He had taken away from him the only father he had ever known!

'You head him, there is the door.' Nathan commanded.

'No!' Jamie cried springing free from his mother. 'I want him to stay, he is my friend.' He insisted. Haley gasped in dismaying shooting her estranged husband a look that told him that she clearly blamed him for this too. Of all the people that he would have wanted his son to form an instant bond with, his grandfather was not one of them. He opened his mouth to object, to let Jamie down gentle, although what he was going to say he had no idea. He made it a point not to lie to his son but what could he tell him...'you can't hang out with your grandfather because he is a cold blooded murderer?' way to traumatise the kid. Either way Dan beat him to it. He crouched down to his grandson's level taking his hand and Nathan had the strongest urge to rip it off him. 'I can't right now little man, I have to go, maybe later okay.' He said the last part as a question to both Nathan and Haley who both looked away.

'Okay.' Jamie was clearly not pleased but he accepted it already looking forward to seeing his grandfather next. As soon as he closed the door Nathan spun around and hightailed it to the kitchen indicating that Nathan should follow.

'What?' he growled out louder than he had intended. He was tired, it had been a long day and he didn't need Haley having another go at him.

'I can't do this anymore.'

'Do what?' he ran his hand down his face trying to avert exhaustion. All he wanted right now was to hold his boy and never let go, save the fighting for tomorrow.

'This, you and me, and Dan. I'm tired Nathan!' Nathan sighed.

'We'll work this out Haley; we are just going through a rough patch Haley.'

'Yeah well that rough patch nearly cost me my son, and to top it off, it brought your murderous father into our lives again!'

'Haley...'

'Everything is a constant battle with you, and I'm done fighting or trying to change you. Coz you will never change.'

'But I have changed!'

'No you haven't, you are still the same and I could have taken anything from you Nathan. I _have_ taken everything from you, but I will not take adultery!'

'I have never...'

'I want a divorce.' She said so quietly that he wasn't sure he heard her right but looking at her serious face she knew that she had heard every word.

'You don't mean that Haley we can work this out. After everything we've been through together, Jamie...' she couldn't just end things just like that. They were a family, the only family he had, they meant the world to him!

'Don't make this any harder than it already is Nathan, I'm done, we are done.' She walked out living him standing there unable to fight the tears that were stinging his eyes. How had things gone so wrong?

**A.n okay next chapter up. I know it had very little with Peyton or where this story is going but I wanted to explain about Nathan as he will be very important to Peyton. Besides wasn't really a big Haley fan in S5. Please review**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**A.n. it seems that I have disappointed some of my readers with the past two updates, I know have confused ****TV Crazed**** with where the story is going, and I'm really sorry about that. The lack of reviews kinda shows that lol. I'm really sorry I guess I kinda wanted to show some background information on her before I really get into it, and as for Haley blowing up, I didn't like the way she handled things in the first place so I'm really not on her side on this. Hope you like the next updates. Please review, would really appreciate your own views and as I'm kind of new at this, I think I'm about to sink without your help.**

She didn't know what day it was anymore, she had lost count and days were starting to merge into one another. But night after night she found herself here with her best friend Jack. Oh but what a man he was, the only man she could trust, the only man who wouldn't let her down. She lifted another shot and downed it quick and fast relishing the way it burned down her throat. She tilted the half empty bottle filling the small shot glass. With a flick of the wrist and a tilt of the head the contents were gone where the half of that bottle had disappeared to. She slammed the glass down with satisfaction.

'How long has she been here?' Chase asked his best friend leaning against the bar. Owen glanced at the blonde in question shaking his head, 'since five. Same time everyday for the past two weeks.'

'And you are still serving her?' he said disapprovingly.

'I'm a bartender not an AA sponsor.' Owen said coolly. Chase stared at him shocked. He knew that his friend wasn't an ass, so why was he acting like it?

'You of all people should know what alcohol does to your life.' Chase pointed out.

'You can't save everyone Chase, some people learn better from their mistakes than being told.' He picked up another wine glass polishing it furiously.

'Oh you mean like you had to?' Owen shot him a hard look.

'Relax, after the first night I've been diluting it, a lot.' He remembered the first night that the blonde had come to his bar. By the time she had left she had been legless, throwing up all over that Owen had to carry her all the way to Brooke's. When she came back the next night after downing half a bottle, Owen had tried to take it away from her; he still had the cut right above his eye from her response to that one. On the third night, as soon as she sat on the bar ordering her usual – brother jack, he had diluted it. The first four shots were the real thing, after that it was 50/50 of jack and water. When she hadn't seemed to notice he had done it since. He had tried to take care of her as best as he could, bit seeing the disappointed look on his best friend's face made him feel like scum none the less. He knew what alcohol did to you, but he also knew that when you were feeling really low and felt like was the only option, there was nothing anyone could do to make you stop.

'Look would you rather she was drinking at some dive somewhere, where somebody would probably take advantage of her?'

Chase shook his head turning towards her. He didn't even want to think about that. And he had to admit that Owen was right. She was in a bad place right now, and who knows what could happen to her with her defences down.

'At least here we can look after her.' Owen was saying.

'Yeah you are right.' He said grudgingly.

'Owen!' Peyton shouted lifting the bottle and looking through the tiny hole of the bottle as if playing hide and go seek with the contents. 'I need a refill its empty, see?' she tilted the bottle upside down. A few heads around her turned around whispering softly between themselves.

'That's you queue Romeo.' Owen teased lightly. Chase grunted as he made his way to Peyton.

'Hey Peyt.' He took the bottle from her hand tossing it to Owen who caught in one hand.

'Noooo!' she slurred grabbing for it, but chase caught her hands in his.

'I think you've heard enough.' He said softly as if speaking to a child. Right now she was worse than a child.

'hmm-hmm!' she shook her head which apparently want a good idea because she tilted off balance almost falling off the chair.

'Whoa! Easy there Ace.' His arms shot out and caught her. He guessed her head was swimming like crazy right about now.

'You came.' She stated looking into his eyes but not really focusing on him. Chase nodded. She always said that. Every day, all the time.

'You knew I would.' Ever since the first time he had found her slumped over the bar he had come for her every night after that. The first few nights had just been a coincidence but after that he had come here just to check if she was here and to his disappointment she had been, religiously, every night.

'Come on, let's go.' He urged of the chair but she tried to stand her ground but failed miserably. The alcohol had stripped away all herself will. Seconds later she was collapsed against his chest. He sighed heavily as he scooped her up in his arms carrying her out the door bundling her unconscious form into his car.

Brooke heard him shuffling outside her door and rushed to open it before he had the chance to knock. He eyes immediately went to his arms. He shrugged sadly. He just like her wished that he didn't have to be here, at least not for this reason.

'Hey.' She smiled at him and held the door open for him. He made his way to Peyton's bedroom. He didn't need directions anymore. He had done this often enough.

He found her sitting on the thick rug leaning against the couch. She was starring absently into the fire seeping on a steaming mug of hot cocoa with another beside her. He lowered himself next to her taking the mug she offered him quietly. This had become their little ritual for the past two weeks. He would go to find Peyton and bring her home to find Brooke waiting for the pair of them with a cup of hot cocoa for him.

'You don't have to stay you know.' She said starring right into the fire. He chuckled, she always said that and just like every other day before that he told her that he wouldn't be anywhere but here. They stayed like that, silent, starring in space like every other day. He turned his eyes to her when she wasn't looking. He felt like he was seeing her for the first time in a long time. She had changed so much yet not at all. She looked more confident, sure of herself yet she still had that air of vulnerability about her. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he kept his hands firmly by his side. He didn't have the right, not anymore.

'I don't think I can do this anymore.' She muttered quietly under her breath that for a moment he thought he didn't hear her right. He took her hand in his then, squeezing it comfortingly.

'I'm not strong enough, I can't... I', afraid that I'm not going to be enough for her coz I don't know what to do.' The only sign that she was crying was the tear that fell on his hand. She smiled at him apologetically quickly wiping away any signs of tears. She had always hated anybody to see her cry.

She will be fine brook.' He tried to sound reassuring but even he wasn't so sure. He remembered her in high school when she was going through a bad patch. She didn't seem this bad, but then again how could he know, he hadn't known her then, only seen her from afar.

'She can't keep doing this. This is not good for her, or healthy, she could have serious health problems, or worse. They both knew what the worst part was, but neither one of them wanted to consider it, let alone say it.

'I know I know that Luke really hurt her, I know that, but this...' she said pointing towards Peyton's bedroom door. 'I don't know this person anymore. And I don't think she does either.'

Chase squeezed her hand again. When she began to tremble he pulled he into his arms.

'What can I do, tell me what to do.' He wanted to take all the pain away from her. Do something, anything to make this better for her.

Brooke smiled against his shoulder. 'You have done more than enough; I couldn't do any of this without you. The only person who could help is not here, and even if he was, he wouldn't.' Lucas. That's who she was talking about. Chase didn't know what to say then so he didn't say anything. They stayed like that, her head on his lap. They must have fallen asleep because the next time Brooke woke up she was sleeping in a very awkward position her neck very stiff. She groaned stretching trying to relieve the ache. She made the couch up and woke chase to get him to sleep properly otherwise he wouldn't be able to turn around in the morning with his body all twisted up like that. She had meant what she had said to him before. She was really grateful for his help. She wouldn't be able to do this without him.

He was woken up around seven in the morning by banging pots in the kitchen. He groaned stretching his limbs for a second forgetting where he was, he twisted and found himself on the floor with pain shooting in all sides in his head.

'Oww.' He rubbed the spot where he had banged his head furiously. He tried to get up but a sudden wave of dizziness overtook him and he collapsed back down against the couch. There was a snicker behind him. He would have turned but his head was already spinning and he already knew who it was.

'How is it that you do this every day?' Brooke asked leaning against the door frame waving around a wooden spoon.

'Go away.' She chuckled at him

'Good morning to you too.' She went back to the kitchen and came back with a cup of coffee.

'thanks.' she accepted grudgingly. 'And what's good about it?'

'I forget how grumpy you and sawyer are in the morning. It's like you were cut from the same cloth or something.'

'how is she?' he had been up during the night right along with her every time she woke up to throw up, and it had been a lot.

'She was asleep the last time I checked on her. She will probably be up any minute now.' As if on queue they heard the door to her room opening. Seconds later she was sitting on the couch between them her legs drawn up under her.

'Morning.' Brooke said quietly not looking at her.

'Keep it down will ya?' she said rubbing her temples. Chase silently offered his coffee to her but just when her fingers were touching the handle, Brooke snatched it away.

'What the hell?' Peyton shot her a murdering gaze.

'You need real food.' She said getting up and heading for the kitchen.

'I'm not hungry' she muttered under her breath but unfortunately it was loud enough for Brooke to hear.

'Yeah I know, you haven't been hungry for the past two weeks, living on nothing but coffee and booze.' She pulled her off the couch dragging her to the kitchen and depositing her on the bar stool. Peyton didn't really have the energy to resist so just allowed herself to be pulled forwards. Chase had no choice but to follow, sitting himself right beside Peyton. He didn't even know what he was doing here anymore but he knew two things, his back couldn't take anymore sleepovers on the couch and at this rate, he would do some serious bumping his head every morning like that. But looking at them right now, Brooke so angry, frustrated and looking defeated; Peyton so forlorn, lost and broken, he knew that no matter what he could never leave them, not as long as they weren't okay. Question he still yet had to answer was why? He bet his mother would gladly answer that one for him. She had been calling him all week asking him when he was coming home. He had tried to deflect her telling her that he was helping out a friend who needed him, which was the truth and she had accused him of once again collecting strays.

'Here.' Brooke was shoving a plate full of toast and scrambled eggs in front of her. Peyton looked at it her face full of disgust before glaring at her best friend.

'I don't want it.' she said coldly starring down.

'I don't care.' Brooke said equally as coldly. She had tried reasoning with her, bargaining with her, hell she had even tried begging, every morning. But nothing had worked and she didn't know what to do anymore. Maybe she didn't understand or know anything about like Peyton kept pointing out every morning, but she knew one thing for certain; she loved Peyton way too much to watch her destroy herself like that, lose herself like that.

'This has to stop Peyton. I can't begin to understand what you are going through, but this has to stop. You can't do this to yourself anymore!' Brooke ground out glaring back at her.

'You don't know what you are...'

'Talking about? Yeah I know, you have said that over and over again. And you know what? Maybe I don't, but I know that THIS has to stop.' She was bordering on shouting.

'Brooke...' chase warned, putting a hand on her arm. He understood her frustration, her helplessness, he really did but looking at Peyton now, she was shaking and on the verge of falling apart.

'no.' she shrugged his arm off and pushed the plate closer to Peyton her gaze never wavering. 'Eat!' she said forcefully.

'No!' Peyton shook her head but it began spinning so she clutched it with both hands. Brooke yanked the stainless steel tray off the kitchen sink and held it in front of her like a mirror.

'Look at this, look at her!' she said forcing Peyton to look at her reflection. 'Do you recognise her? Cos I don't!' Peyton shut her eyes trying to look away but she couldn't as Brooke's hand held her captive.

'Now eat.' Brooke ground out through clenched teeth. Peyton's eyes snapped open finally meeting Brooke's defiantly.

'What are you, my mother?'

Brooke corked her head to the side and studied her carefully before replying very quietly.

'No, I'm not. And you are lucky she is not here cos not only would she be extremely disappointed in you she would slap your skinny ass all the way to Soberville.' Brooke watched her friend rear back and knew that mentioning her mother seeing her like this was hurting her more than anything and she immediately felt bad but she didn't know what else to do. She needed to snap her out of it and fast!

Peyton blinked rapidly trying to blink away her tears but failed miserably. A few seconds later they were flowing down her cheeks as she stared blankly in space. Brooke moved back leaning against the sink in defeat. As much as she wanted to help she didn't want to add to anymore pain to her friend. Chase got up going round to Brooke.

'Hey, it's okay, go to work. I got this.' He rubbed her arm soothingly.

'I...' she started to protest but he cut her off.

'We'll be okay.' He promised. She stared into his eyes quietly and he smiled down at her reassuringly. 'There is nothing more you can do here.'

'If anything happens...'

'Yeah I know, I have your number.' She sighed before casting one defeated look at her best friend; and then she grabbed her bag and was out the door. Chase waited until he heard the door close before moving. He sat next to her facing her.

'Peyt.' She didn't move, just sat there silently starring forward. He sighed and pulled her to face him; she still wouldn't look at him.

'Peyton, come on look at me.' Just like he expected, she didn't look at him, or move either. It was like dealing with a child. He pulled the plate towards him scooping a forkful of the eggs that were now growing cold.

'Come on Ace, just a little.' He coaxed holding up the fork for her. She looked up then right at him, her eyes meeting his. For a moment he was shocked by how green they looked, yet they looked blank, bleak and desolate.

'Just one bite.' He cajoled. She looked at him as if not trusting him, he smiled encouragingly at her. 'You need to eat.' he said to her. When she looked from the fork to his eyes and back he raised his eyebrow challengingly and smirked at her. She closed her mouth over the fork defiantly. He averted his gaze downwards as he scooped another forkful trying to hide his smile. Trust her to be unable to resist a challenge. She must have been a handful as a child. He presented the fork to her. She shook her head. 'You said one.' she reminded him.

His eyebrow went up again. Her gaze hardened as if saying that she couldn't believe he was pulling that crap on her but like before she closed her lips over it, engulfing the eggs into her mouth. And that's how it happened with the next forkful and the next and the next till there was only toast left.

'Now that wasn't so bad was it?' he smiled at her proudly. Her eyes snapped down to the plate in surprise. She looked up at him and he smiled at her when a red blush crept up her pale cheeks.

'Now we must go and shower.' He smiled at her again and deposited the plate in the sink. He turned to find her starring up at him pointedly.

'What?' he asked shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably. He felt a little antsy under her scrutinizing gaze.

'Together?' she asked quietly. For a moment he was confused not exactly sure what she was talking about so he asked her. 'You said _we_ were going to shower. Are you suggesting we shower together?'

'No-no, that's what I meant. I meant you-and-I shower. But not together, I mean. Separately.' He stammered his face red with embarrassment. He was trying to look at anything but her. How had he got himself tangled in this stupid web? She was staring at him; eyebrows raised obviously waiting for him to explain.

How exactly was he supposed to explain when he didn't know himself? He was searching all corners of his brain when he saw a glint of something in her eyes - Mischief? Well well, what do you know?

'Ha-ha, very funny sawyer.' He pushed himself off the sink bringing his face directly in front of hers. Now scoot, off you go.' When she quirked her eyebrow again he shook his forefinger at her. 'In your own bathroom Sawyer and I will use the main. Meet me down here in fifteen. If you are not here then I will be up there to flush you out.' She glared at him before spinning around on her heel to her room.

As much as she had tried to hide it he had seen, the faint glimmer of a smile that had graced her lips.

He smiled to himself as he watched her go. He had spent more time with her in the past two weeks than he ever had in the entire time and he had grown to care about her, a lot. And he hated to see her in this much pain especially over someone he felt was stupid enough not to realise how lucky he had been.

**A.n: well here it is the latest update. Sorry it was late, but hope you like it. please please review!!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N: yeah I know, took a long time to update. I probably had some of u thinking I had abandoned the story. I hate it when people leave a story unfinished too. I can assure u I didn't. I'm sorry for the late update. Had a lot of course works that I had to finish to hand in for this and the next week. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. Hope you still like it. Please review, any thoughts are welcome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any OTH characters.**

Chapter 7

Brooke's Jimmy Choos rapped furiously against the wooden stairs as she ascended towards Tric's back's entrance. She was running late, make that very late. And if she wasn't careful there was no way that she would make it on time. Haley and Millie had just called to say that they were going to be late. She had started to go off at them but then thought twice about it. What was the point? If they couldn't be there they couldn't be there, there was nothing anyone could do about it.

She was met by Deb at the door who unloaded some of the boxes off her heavily loaded arms.

'Hey Brooke.' she smiled warmly at the younger woman and Brooke was immediately grateful. At least there was somebody here so it wasn't a complete loss.

'What, no Peyton?' Deb asked as she glanced behind her searching for the other girl. Brooke's smile died immediately and it was as if it was never there. She wished she had the answer to that question, but she didn't. She never knew where her friend was these days. She never saw her anymore. If she didn't know better she could have sworn that the other girl was avoiding her, that's if she was ever sober enough to even remember how to do that. She didn't know how to deal with her anymore. At least when she was all depressed and hurt then Brooke knew that her friend was still in there somewhere. Lately she seemed...angry, all the time, charging around the place like a bull.

She was still going out every night, coming back drunk out of her skull in the morning, if she ever bothered to get back at all after doing heaven knows what with whoever . Chase had stopped bringing her back, and after that Brooke had found out that she had stopped going to Tric after she had rumbled Owen's little plan, so now they had no idea where she went. Chase still came by every afternoon to check on her. He was the only person that she remotely responded to so Brooke pretty much had to rely on him to tell her how _her _best friend was doing and it hurt. As much as she wanted it not to, it hurt like a bitch.

She and Peyton had known each other ever since they were little, long before Chase Adams came into the picture. They had seen each other through dead mothers, bitchy ones, absent fathers and psycho stalkers for Pete's sake. Hell they had even gone through the ultimate test between friends, falling in love with the same boy, and for somebody else now, who wasn't her to be the one to bring her best friend out of her shell hurt. It was like saying that all they went through didn't matter. Deep down she knew that she was being irrational. This was far from being about them, but she felt so useless! She felt like she was just a spectator as her best friend's life disintegrated.

But she didn't tell Deb all that, she didn't need to know all that. She simply smiled and said that Peyton wasn't here at the moment but she would be by later. She only hoped that the other girl didn't make a liar out of her. From whatever response that she gave these days she had managed to extract a promise from her that she would at least attend today, and then she could go back wherever she wanted to after that. This was Karen's birthday, so whatever grievances they had they could put them aside for this one day. She had been like a mother to all of them, been there for them when they needed her, it was the least they could do for her.

'What are you thinking about gorgeous?' Owen asked snaking his arms around her waist. Brooke snapped out of her thoughts as her lips stretched into an automatic smile. She hadn't heard him coming behind her.

'Hey you.' she smiled as she leaned into the kiss he pressed into her lips. With everything that had been going on she had hardly seen him at all. 'how's my favourite bartender?' she said kissing him again and he immediately responded moulding her to him with a ferocious hunger that told her just how much he had missed her.

And he had missed her a _lot_. He just didn't want to complain because she was going through such a hard time at the moment and he didn't want to add on to her problems. But he also didn't want to tell her that the fact his best friend saw more of her more than he did bugged the living crap out of him, and that lately more than anything he found his mind wondering back to them in the past. He wasn't proud of it, far from it but he was a man after all.

'How's everything.' He asked breaking the kiss and deviating from the road his thoughts were leading him towards.

'Oh you know, pretty much the same.' Then she smiled at him, caressing his jaw, her eyes boring into his as if to reassure him that he had absolutely nothing to worry about. 'Thank you so much for being so understanding throughout all this. You are the best boyfriend ever.' She said so sweetly immediately feeling bad for even thinking what he had been thinking. Then she kissed him again dispelling whatever doubts remained about their relationship.

'Anything I can do?' he asked when they finally came up for air. Brooke looked around her. There was a lot that needed to be done, a lot of errands to be run and not enough time or manpower to do it. Her meeting had run later it should have and as a result she was running late.

'You can pick up the cake.' She suggested her eyes twinkling with mischief, readying herself for a negotiation/argument. She was pretty sure that he would say no, but he surprised her by agreeing and kissing her quick before departing for his task leaving her baffled and confused.

A few minutes late she was joined by Jamie, Haley, Skillz, Millie, Lauren, Mouth, Junkie and Fergie. They all worked together in joyous harmony and before she knew it the task that had seemed so impossible before was done and she couldn't have been more pleased with the results. Now just a few bits and bobs to pick up and they were ready to go.

*****************

Her steps faltered as she came upon them sleeping on her couch, Peyton's head resting against Chase's lap with 'Almost famous' blaring off the TV screen. Chase jumped off the couch his eyes immediately wondering the room wondering what had woken him, all the while his hand draped protectively around Peyton. Brooke felt a wave of jealousy rise within her and she wasn't entirely sure of its source this time.

Seeing it was her Chase immediately settled back down on the couch. She smiled at him and he beamed back at her instantly reminding her of the boy she had fallen in love with at eighteen.

'How did it go?' he asked referring to Tric.

'Good.' She said proudly and enthusiastically. 'We are finished, the only thing left is the food delivery which is being done by Haley and Deb as we speak and Owen has just gone to get the cake.' Her expression then sobered up as she looked down at her friend. 'How did it go with you?' she asked quietly as if too scared to ask. Chase smiled at her reassuringly.

'It was good actually, not a drop all day. She even managed to eat a whole sandwich.' He declared proudly. Brooke wanted to smile with him, she wanted to hope that this was a good sign, but she also knew that this was during the day, and Peyton's stints usually started in about three hours time. She would feel better if she just made it through tonight.

'It's gonna be okay Brooke.' he said soothingly taking her hand in his and squeezing it tightly. Fresh tears stung her eyes as they landed on her peacefully unaware friend. She wanted more than anything to believe his words, but she also knew that it wasn't to be so, not for a long time anyway.

'Hey, hey...don't.' he reached over Peyton's slumbering form and wiped the lone tear that had escaped with the pad of his thumb. She froze as she felt sudden shivers running up and down her body. Before she knew it she was leaning into his touch. Over the past weeks they had been growing extremely close, talking more, laughing like old times and each time she was reminded of them before and if she wasn't careful she would find herself slipping back there.

'Brooke.' her name came out as a whisper from his lips and she watched them every second as they folded around the formation of her name. She couldn't be doing this, she told herself. She was with Owen now and they were happy. More than anything though she was not a cheater!

She reared back breaking their connection.

'I have to get ready.' She offered as an explanation getting up. She saw the confusion and something else in his eyes...hurt. Dammit the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Far from it! She just didn't know what was going on. She just didn't know what was happening with them right now. With her thoughts in turmoil she turned and she fled to the confines of her room where she slammed the door shut and burst in tears.

Chase watched her as she ran off in dismay, tears running down her cheeks and cursed softly under his breath. The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry, he hated to see her upset in anyway. Right now he wanted more than anything to race after her and take her in his arms and comfort her. But he couldn't coz not only would she not let him but he had no right. She was very much in love with his _best friend_! And he wasn't going there, ever. As much as every fibre in his being wanted to help her he should have known that being here with her, seeing her everyday was not a good idea. Brooke Davis was the first woman he had fallen in love with and she hadn't given him a reason to fall out of love with her.

For the first time he understood what Peyton had gone through with Brooke and Lucas in high school. After all he was in the exact same position she had been in, but unlike her he wasn't going to make the same mistake she had made. He wasn't going to do anything about his feelings. He was going to leave them to it, because Owen made Brooke happy and more than anything she deserved that.

He waited till he was sure she had left. He had heard her heels rapping against the hardwood floors on the hallway. He knew that she would want to be one of the first ones to arrive there so she would want to be one of the first people there to oversee that everything ran smoothly. And frankly he didn't feel like facing her right now. As soon as he heard the door slam outside he made his way out of the guest bedroom that she let him use whenever he was here and she was staying over at Owens's. He tried to avoid spending time with just the two of them and since he was staying over with Owen, she let him stay here sometimes. He knocked on Peyton's door and didn't wait for a reply. He didn't expect her to answer. She turned and glared at him with an accusing gaze.

'You wouldn't have answered anyway, so I figured why not just skip a step.' She was sitting on the bed, a towel wrapped around her and her hair wet obviously just having got out of the shower.

'You decided what you are going to wear yet?' she didn't want to go; he could see it in her eyes. So she wasn't looking for any out that she would get. When he looked at her she just shrugged.

'o-kay, how about I pick something for you?' he headed for her closet and started rummaging through her clothes. He didn't know much about women's fashion, but any guy who had ever dated Brooke Davis knew enough about clothes to be able to pick out a suitable outfit. He didn't even turn to look at her; he could imagine the daggers she was shooting him right now. So he continued to have the one side conversations he always had with her.

'What do u think of this one?' he held up one dress after the other, and she didn't so much as move.

'Fine what do you think of this one then?' he held up a black long sleeved dress. Even with his terrible sense of fashion he could tell that she wouldn't want to wear it, and the look she shot him confirmed his thoughts.

'If you don't help me out then, you might have to go looking hideous coz not going is not an option.'

When he held out a short red dress with a low back to her she nodded. He smiled and handed it to her.

'Ten minutes Sawyer or I'll be coming after you and dressing you myself.' She stuck her chin out at him stubbornly her eyes wondering if he would dare.

'You know I will.' He promised her and she knew that he meant every word.

He came back fifteen minutes later to find her struggling with the clasp of her strappy sandals. He knelt in front of her and took her foot in his hand. Their eyes connected as he did the clasp, doing the same for the other foot. He couldn't fail to notice that the dark circles under her eyes were gone, cleverly concealed by her makeup. She had applied eyeliner and mascara making her green eyes look bigger than before. He smiled up at her; she had really made an effort.

'You look really beautiful.' He said standing up with her. She looked down at the dress before looking up at him, her eyes full of doubt. He wanted to curse, he knew why she doubted him, and she had no reason to whatsoever, coz she looked freaking amazing, especially with that dress on her.

'You do.' He emphasised taking her chin in his hand so that she could look in his eyes. His mother had once told him that eyes never lied, and he was hoping that she would see that he was telling her the truth.

'Okay.' She nodded quietly. 'Thank you.' she whispered smiling slightly.

'Alright, now that's sorted can we go now?' he put his arm around him leading her out the house.

* * *

Everybody was there by the time they got there including the guest of honour herself. Nobody took notice of them when they came in, which suited both of them just fine. Normally they would have headed for the bar but considering Peyton's recent activities of late, the bar was the last place he wanted her to be so they went and sat on the tables by the other side of the bar, away from everybody else. Not only did she not need a break, he also wanted to be nowhere near Brooke and Owen right now. But there was no such luck, as soon as he sat down on the table with their cranberry sodas Brooke spotted them and was heading their way grinning widely with Owen in tour. Peyton groaned suddenly finding her soda more interesting than anything.

'You guys made it.' she said to Peyton, avoiding Chase's gaze. Chase in turn smiled at Owen.

'Didn't exactly have a choice though did we?' Peyton said snidely rolling her eyes. Brooke's face snapped towards her shocked. She didn't know whether to be relieved coz her friend was now talking or be concerned at the tone.

'You always have a choice .' she said softly

'Oh yeah, like you totally gave me one today.'

'Well I didn't know that coming to celebrate my birthday was so bad.' came a voice behind her. She whirled behind her only to meet the one person who she never ever wanted to hurt. She launched herself into her arms enveloping her into a bear hug.

'Oh my God Karen that's not what I meant at all.' That was the last thing she needed to her to hear. Of course she wanted to be here when she was celebrating her birthday but then again considering her recent history with her son she wasn't really sure of her place in the older woman's life right now. As soon as that though entered her head, she disentangled herself from her arms. Karen searched her face her eyes filled with concern.

'How are doing Peyton?' she asked. Peyton chuckled; trust Karen, ever the mother. She had just overheard her saying how much she didn't want to be here and yet she was more concerned about her.

'great, how are you?' she plastered on a smile on her face and hoped that she was convincing enough, because truth was she felt far from fine. But the look on Karen told her that he clearly didn't believe her though she didn't say so and Peyton was grateful for that.

'Come and see me tomorrow and we will talk.' Peyton knew what she wanted them to talk about and she didn't want to talk about any of it, especially with Karen of all people.

'Yeah I would like that.' she would come up with some excuse later on; she just didn't want to get into it right now.

Karen tilted her head to the side steadily studying her. Peyton shifted on the balls of her feet nervously. She didn't like the scrutiny and with Karen it always felt like she could see right through all the bull shit that you spouted even to yourself.

'You know Peyton, no matter what has happened in the past, nothing has to change for you and me. I still love you like a daughter, you can still talk to me anytime, about anything.' She emphasised the last part, holding the younger woman's face between her hands. Peyton felt bitter, angry and lonely tears sting her eyes and before she had the chance to stop them they were flowing freely down her cheeks. Oh how much she missed Karen, the feeling of belonging, of having a mother figure. But no matter what Karen said and as much as she wished it otherwise, things weren't ever going to be the same anymore. She had a daughter in-law now, why would she stay loyal to her son's ex?

And besides she didn't think that she could take looking into that smile always, the one that reminded her so much of the man she had loved with her whole heart, the same smile that would remind her of all that wasn't hers anymore, coz she had to face it, she didn't really belong here anymore did she? No, this was Lindsey's domain now. Just thinking of the other woman's name was enough to almost drive her out of her mind with grief.

She had avoided thinking about _them_ for the past month. She had just locked them in a box which she in turn sealed in a steel container in both her mind and heart swearing never to open them again for as long as she lived, but it wasn't really that easy was it, especial for such a small town as tree hill. Everywhere she went it was tainted with memories of him. She saw his face everywhere, in everyone and especially this woman right here in front of her. And she realised right then it was too much, she couldn't do it anymore. She didn't want to.

'Peyt.' Chase said right beside her. She turned to him a small smile gracing her lips right then. Chase, the one person who she could talk to lately, who didn't treat her as if she was about to fall apart into a thousand pieces, he didn't treat her like a tragic story that everyone treated her as.

'Peyton.' Karen said softly reclaiming her attention. Peyton recognised the pity in there mixed with unshed tears and she didn't know how or want to deal with it. So she did the only thing she knew how to do better than anything. She fled, although only to the ladies, she till fled as fast as her skinny legs could carry her with Chase hot on her heels. He came to a stop at the door when the door swung shut in his face behind her.

'I'll go.' He turned to find Brooke behind him, her hand on his shoulder. He hadn't even been aware that she had followed them. He could only nod; he could hardly follow her in there could he?

After knocking on all the stalls, Brooke finally found her in the last one at the end. Checking that the bathroom was empty, she barricaded the door locking them in.

'p. Sawyer?' she waited but there was no response. She hadn't expected her to respond anyway, she never did, not to her anyway, and that stung.

'Look I'm going to be here when you get out okay, I'm not going anywhere.' She didn't ask her what was wrong with the hope that Peyton would tell her when she was ready, that one of these days she would open up to her .

Peyton came out ten minutes later eyes red rimmed and swollen. Brooke squeezed her arm then letting her know that she was there for her. Peyton turned to her then, slowly, her green eyes filled with sorrow, and all the hurt in the world that Brooke's heart cracked right in the middle.

'I'm a mess.' She said so quietly her through her tears that Brooke wasn't sure she had heard her at first. But then she collapsed against the sinks and holding on for balance.

'Aww hunnie, no you are not.' Brooke took her in his arms supporting her and felt tears stinging her own eyes. She had been waiting for this, hoping for this, for Peyton to show her some sort of emotion, but this she wasn't prepared for. Her best friend was looking so broken, as if she had lost all hope.

'Yeah I am Brooke. I have messed up so much.' She was saying into her shoulder.

'No Peyt. Don't say that.' she rubbed circles around her back but her friend was sobbing inconsolable now

'I don't think I can do this anymore, I'm exhausted.'

'You are gonna be just fine Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer' she said sternly. 'You have people that love you, me, Chase, Nathan...'

'Lucas doesn't.' She stated sadly, cutting her off. Brooke froze. Now what the hell was she supposed to say to that? What was the right thing to say to that? So she opted for pointing out what an idiot Lucas Scott was not to have realised what a great person she was. Peyton started shaking her head even before Brooke finished speaking.

'No he's not, he's just found the love of his life, and it's not his fault that it's not me.' She said sadly more tears falling down her clammy cheeks.

'Don't mind me, I'm just being silly.' She said wiping the tears off her face instantly. She was sick and tired of feeling like this, emotionally wrought. She wanted to feel anything other than hurt. She wasn't a fool to think that she would feel happy anytime soon, but she wanted to feel anything other than this! And she was the only person who could do anything about it. Oh but Brooke had tried, her darling Brooke, she thought to herself as she cradled her best friend's cheek in her hand. Brooke looked up at her confused, especially by the look in her eyes, as she couldn't decipher it.

She must have gone through hell these past few weeks trying to be strong for a person who insisted on wallowing in self pity. And she didn't deserve that.

'You are the best friend ever.' Peyton whispered her voice cracking looking straight into Brooke's eyes.

'Yeah, so are you.' tears were now falling down her cheeks.

'And I love you to pieces, you know that right? No matter what happens, you know that I love you more than anything.' Peyton said seriously. Brooke's heart fell to her stomach. This didn't sound good.

'Why are you talking like that? What do you mean?'

'Nothing. I just mean that everything is going to be okay now, you'll see.' She smiled at her before kissing her swiftly on the forehead.

After retouching her makeup she turned to Brooke flashing her that same smile that never, not once reached her eyes.

'Will I do?'

'You will knock everyone's socks off.' She confirmed through a hot lump logged in her throat.

'oh well guess that will have to do, was going for their whole clothes but guess socks will do just fine.' she flashed her a cheeky smile before opening the bathroom door, and before Brooke could sweep her jaw off the floor she was out leaving Brooke wondering what the hell was going on in her head now.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: a big shout out to all my reviewers. You guys have been amazing, simply the best. You guys give me the inspiration to go on. Every time I want to write something that you guys will like, that will keep you glued to the story lol. So please keep them coming!!!**

**So here is a big shout out to ****julianafun****, ****gosal11444****, ****hilarie3****, ****Michellebell16****, ****grayfan****, ****laj33****, ****TV Crazed****, ****bendecida82****, ****cayt326****, ****AWeSOmECHIcK, lukenpeyton4ever**** Thank you, thank you, and thank you**

Chapter 8

She found him sitting at the bar nursing a half empty bottle of beer. She guessed it was probably his first one. He wasn't that much of a drinker. He looked so forlorn his shoulders slumped as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder. Well knew of a certain weight that he carried around- her and her world of problems. She groaned inwardly in self disgust. Yet another person she had let down. He had been there for her over the past weeks, asking for nothing in return and selfishly she had taken all he had to offer, giving nothing back. She had to wonder though, why he was doing it. People didn't just do things like that without expecting anything in return. It was probably because of Brooke she figured, she knew that he still liked her a lot if not loved.

'Hey you.' she said sliding on to the chair next to him. He looked up at her startled and said hie back shooting her a hesitant smile silently asking her if she was okay. She nodded and smiled at him. His lips stretched to a full smile and he pulled her into a hug. He looked at Brooke, who had suddenly appeared over her shoulder, his eyes full of confusion. Brooke just shrugged. She didn't know what was responsible for the sudden change in mood in her best friend, wasn't even sure if she trusted it, but right now she was grateful for it.

'I'll have what you are having.' She reached for his bottle and before he could stop her she took a swig out of it.

'Are you drinking tonight?' Brooke asked sliding onto the seat next to Peyton. Peyton just flushed her a cheeky smile.

Don't worry, I will stay off the heavy stuff tonight, I will be a good girl...scouts honour.' She gave a little salute before she took another swig and handed the nearly empty bottle back to Chase.

'Thanks Peyt.' He said sarcastically after inspecting the bottle.

'You are welcome.' She kissed him lightly on the cheek before yelling at Owen to get her a drink. Owen looked at her sceptically before looking at Chase for confirmation.

'What is he? My father? I just want a beer.' Peyton chuckled fighting off irritation. When Owen looked at him again Chase held his hands up in surrender. Owen popped a bottle open and handed it to her. She took a swig out of it before grinning at him.

'See that wasn't so bad for a boy scout now was it?' she put the drink down dragging Chase to the dance floor.

'I'll leave you kids to it.' she flashed Brooke a secret smile, missing the sad look on Chase's face.

She wasn't much of a dancer but then again neither was Chase, but they managed a decent rhythm to the music. For those few moments Chase forgot about the brunette that kept him awake at night. He focused on the blonde in front of him who seemed to be less troubled at that moment. What she was right now wouldn't be classed as happy but she was definitely the happiest he had seen her in weeks.

His mood though changed the minute he looked back and saw Owen smiling broadly, leaning over the counter and kissing his girlfriend. He felt tightening of his gut and heart. He was jealous, he finally admitted to himself. He wanted to be the one she kissed, the one she smiled at as if the sun was shining out of. He had, ever since he first came back, wanted to do nothing but take her in his arms and keep her there for a long time to come. She was Brooke Davis, the woman who dominated his heart.

Peyton felt the change in him the instant it happened. His whole demeanour changed and he tensed up. She followed the direction of his gaze leading her straight to her best friend and her boyfriend. _Oh brother!_

'Go talk to her.' He startled, his gaze snapping back to her.

'What? Who?'

'Brooke? Go and talk to her.'

'About what?' he knew exactly what she meant, he just hadn't known that he was that obvious.

'I've been a bit boozy over the past couple of weeks but I'm not blind. I've seen the way you look at her, just go and talk to her.' chase sighed and closed his eyes as if in pain. Did she think that he hadn't thought of that? Just walking up to her and telling her just exactly how he felt about her, but it wasn't that easy. There were two people that would definitely get hurt by this no matter what happened and he never wanted to hurt either one of them. Ever!

'You are just seeing things that's all.' Peyton raised a sceptical eyebrow at him telling him that she clearly didn't believe him. But he didn't want to think about it let alone talk about it.

'How about we move away from here, to a section where you don't have to see them.' she smiled at him kindly. He took the hand she offered him and let her lead him wherever she was going.

* * *

He spotted her first before she saw him. As soon as she came into his line of vision, he froze, everything around him froze and it was just him and her. The laugh, the tilt of the head with everything else hit him like a fine aged whiskey burning its path to his empty stomach. She was laughing at something Chase said. His chest tightened when she turned and hooked her arms around Chase's neck and started dancing with him. She used to dance like that with him once, a very long time ago.

He had tried his best to avoid thinking about her, and pay attention to the woman he had recently married and was on honeymoon with. He had managed, well most of the time. She was like a stubborn stain that he couldn't get rid of from his mind. She kept seeping in at the most inappropriate times, like when he was at the beach with his wife, or having dinner and the most annoying one was while he was making love to his wife. Now that had got under his skin. He had spent the better part of his honeymoon trying to deal with his anger at her because feeling anything else was not an option. He was now a married man and he would be damned if Peyton Sawyer would be part of the equation. She hadn't wanted to be a part of his life, so be it.

He had suspected that she would be here; she loved his mother just like everyone else. And he had prepared himself for it. But seeing her was quite a different story. She looked good, there was no denying that, and that dress did amazing things to her figure. She had lost weight. And seeing her wrap her arms around Chase like that invoked emotions in him he was not prepared to confront.

'Luke?' Lindsey was staring up at him with her big brown eyes and a big smile on her face. He smiled down at her squeezing her hand.

'I was just telling Haley about that little boat ride.' She said beaming up at him. She looked so happy that for a second he wished they were back in Hawaii where it was just the two of them.

'Yeah hales, really wish you were there. It was amazing!' Haley chuckled.

'You do, do you?' Lindsey and Lucas locked gazes lost in their own little world of memories.

'Nah, no maybe not.' They said in perfect unison and they smiled at each other, the newlywed glow obvious to everyone.

'Aww it's so cute how you two do that.' then she smiled sadly look at anywhere but them. 'Nathan and I used to do that.'

Lindsey reached out to her squeezing her hand offering her support.

'How's that going by the way?' Lucas asked. Haley shrugged her dainty shoulders.

'As best a divorce can go I suppose.'

'So you guys are really going through with this then?'

'There is nothing left for us anymore.'

Lindsey shot a quick concerned glance at Luke. She didn't know what had gone on over the past month they had been gone, but from what she knew, all they needed to do was talk, calmly the both of them, without blowing a fuse. But she wouldn't dream of telling Haley that. She had just married her best friend and she would rather have her on side than against her.

'It will be okay Hales, you just wait and see.' She said instead. Haley just looked at her barely refraining from pointing out that they both knew that wasn't true.

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise before she saw him. She knew instantly who it was, but she dismissed it. The only person who could send shiver don her spine by just being in the same vicinity as her, Was gone, he wasn't here. He was probably God knows where with his new wife.

She had entertained the tiny spark of hope that maybe he would be here, that maybe they could, maybe salvage something, some semblance of a relationship, even try to be friends if that was what he wanted. She wasn't a fool, she knew it was too late for them, but she also knew that she didn't want a life without him. That would be worse than death itself.

But she quickly squashed all hopes of seeing him when nobody mentioned his homecoming for his mother's birthday.

this why when she spun around and her eyes met his dead on, all breath left her body, her heart stopped and she couldn't move an inch. She was frozen rigid.

'Peyt?' Chase bumped into her obviously having been unprepared for her sudden halt.

'Yeah sorry.' She said quickly recovering looking quickly away breaking their gaze, and then she was off again. Only this time she veered off course, heading outside. She needed to get out for a while, definitely needed to get some air into her lungs, coz she definitely didn't feel good. She felt woozy, light headed and her throat was closing off cutting off all air circulation

'Peyt?' Chase reached for her as she stumbled outside blindly almost hyperventilating. She struggled against him, needing to get away but he wouldn't let her go.

'Peyton stop!' he held her by her arms halting her movements. 'What's going on?' he searched her terrified eyes his own face creased with lines of worry. She shook her head as if trying to make it all go away.

'Peyton hunnie, tell me what's going on.' He tucked one of her lose curls behind her ear.

She couldn't speak, just kept shaking her head staring blankly behind him. He followed her gaze, his brows marred with confusion and just before the door closed he spied Lucas softly kissing his newly acquired wife. A sudden understanding dawned on him and he swore under his breath. Well shit!!

He had known that she would have to see him sometime. This was a small town and this was his mother's party after all. But he had hoped that it'd be when she was more emotionally ready and prepared. But he had to wonder, would she ever be?! Or was 'ripping off the band-aid', so to speak, the best way forward?

'Peyt...' he didn't know what to say. He also knew that there was absolutely nothing that he could say that could make her feel better.

'I just need to get out of here Chase.' She looked at him pleadingly, her eyes vulnerable and glassy with unshed tears. Dammit!

'Okay.' He offered her his hand and she gingerly took it and let him lead her to the beach. They sat her and he held her trembling body till she calmed down. He lay down on the sand bringing her down with him so that she lay snuggled down to his side.

He finally convinced her an hour later to go back, that she had to face him at some point and it might as well be now. She resisted at first, saying that she didn't think that she could do it.

He got up taking her face in his hands bringing it directly in front of his.

'Of course you can, you are Peyton frigging Sawyer, and you can do anything you put your mind to.' He said with so much conviction that Peyton wanted more than anything to believe him.

'It's Elizabeth.' She corrected him her eyes softening up to a smile.

'Fine. Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. The point is still the same. You can do this.' He smiled back at her reassuringly.

'Besides I would be right there if you need me.' He promised. She looked from his face to the hand that he offered her before hesitantly taking it.

'Ready?' he asked her when they were standing outside the Tric main door. She took one deep breath before smoothing down her skirt and nodded solemnly at him.

'As ready as I'll ever be.' She slipped her hand into his and they walked back to Tric side by side.

He directed her toward the bar as he didn't want her to have to deal with everything else right now. He sat her down and ordered her a whiskey sour to calm her nerves. Owen wasn't there, he assumed he was over somewhere with Brooke. A wave of a feeling he now clearly recognised as the green eyed monster washed over him.

He ordered a whiskey sour for himself and downed it one go.

'Love sucks.' He said to Peyton when she raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow at him, relishing the warmth of the liquid as it scorched it way down his suddenly dry throat to his empty stomach. Probably not the best idea he ever had.

'Tell me about it.' Peyton echoed downing her own drink. Before they had the chance to ponder about their unrequited loves and wallow in their own misery, Millie came behind them telling them that it was time to cut the cake.

Chase and Peyton glanced at each other; well it was now or never.

'You ready?' she looked at him, her eyes wide with an expression that he couldn't read.

'Yeah.' She finally answered after a long pause. He took her hand so that she would know that he was right there next to her. Hell it was also for his sake more than her own. Knowing that she was there helped him with the whole Brooke and Owen situation. It gave him something to focus on.

When they reached the others they had already formed a circle around Karen and were singing the birthday song.

He steered her as far away from the other two couple as he could but it was fitting with his dumb luck that they would end up directly opposite them as they were standing next to each other.

Peyton's eyes flew to his in a blind panic and he squeezed her hand in reassurance. It was only going to be a couple of minutes then they could be out of here. But the slow burn in his gut at the site of Brooke burrowing herself deeper in Owen's embrace and him pressing a soft kiss to her temple told him that this was going to be the longest couple of minutes he had ever lived through in his entire life.

Peyton felt as if she was going to explode with the tension that was churning up inside her, hell even Chase could feel it judging from the way he was squeezing her hand. She met Lucas's gaze across the crowd. She felt a thousand chills race down her spine. It was as if she hadn't seen him in ages. A conflict of emotions passed through his eyes before his gaze hardened when he realised that she could probably read every single emotion written in his eyes. But he was wrong. A long time ago she used to be able to read him like a book, but that was ages ago. Now she barely recognised the man standing opposite her.

Lindsey seeing the way the other woman was starring at her husband, and the way he was starring at her right back, tightened her hold on him and pulled herself closer to him. That's all it took to break their gaze. Lucas looked down at his wife smiling down at her and kissed her warmly, trying to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about.

Seeing the warm exchange between the married couple, Peyton's heart jumped to her throat. She wanted to throw up; she wanted to run away, anything! That should have been her! She thought fiercely. And watching them cosy up like that, the new husband and wife, watching Lindsey glow with that newlywed glow and Lucas looking nauseatingly happy with somebody who wasn't her- it made her suddenly want to scream,! She needed a way to let out the tension somehow. She took a deep breath to calm her trembling body. She felt Chase rub small circles on her back. She looked up at him gratefully and tried to smile at him. She failed miserably and her eyes ended up tearing up instead, so she squeezed his hand. She knew how hard it was for him to see Brooke with Owen. She also knew that he wouldn't admit it, and he would never do anything about it, because he was a good man like that. He would never do anything to hurt his best friend.

Lucas watched her turn to Chase as he put his arms around her. Something in his stomach tightened. Well at least she was moving on, he told himself sternly. It was good. He wasn't sure though as he pulled his wife close to him and kissed her forehead once again, why it was that he had to work so hard to convince himself of that.

As soon as Karen sank the knife into the cake Peyton turned and quietly slipped away with Chase close behind her.

'You okay?' he tucked one of her loose stubborn curls behind her ear.

'Yeah, I'm alright. It's just too much for one day you know? I think I'm just gonna head home.'

'Yeah I know exactly what you mean.' Peyton didn't miss the longing glance he cast towards Brooke.

She liked Owen well enough but she didn't like seeing Chase like this either. With everything he had done for her she was automatically on his side.

'Okay fine, I'll walk you.' but she was already shaking her head.

'Nah it's okay. You stay, there is no point in both of us leaving is there? You stay and enjoy yourself.' She smiled at him.

'Yeah like that's going to happen' He said sarcastically.

'Have fun.' She insisted kissing him softly on the cheek.

'You sure? Coz I can...'

'I'm sure.' Two minutes later she had grabbed her coat and was out of Tric, escaping her own private hell.

**a.n: hmm I'm not really sure about this chapter. I was trying to show the development of Chase and Peyton's relationship and his confusion concerning Brooke, yet somehow I feel like I missed the mark.**

**But please review; I wanna know what you think. Come on people, keep them coming, and give me something :=)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**a.n: thank you so much to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Thank you so much. I'm completely humbled that people actually like my stories. I am trying to take in all your suggestions but I regret to say that I might not use all of them as it will completely take this story in a new direction.**

** TVCrazed I like the way you think, I'm actually trying to work my way there so that they can be just away, the two of them.**

**luke-n-peyton, I know. It's so hard to write them with other people, but seriously Luke cannot get away with the way he treated her in season 5. I didn't like the way he just called her after being so shitty to her and just asked her to marry him and she did, just like that. He should have at least had to work really hard for it! And I agree a 100% about Haley. I like her now but I didn't in s5 when she was really crappy to Peyton. I'm all for all the way.**

**I know everybody likes Brooke and Chase together so do, so I will see what I can do but I am definitely bringing Julian back but I guess you will have to wait and see his role in all this **

Brooke caught up with her outside just as she was about to call for a cab.

'Hey , you leaving?'

'Yeah, I was just gonna duck out.'

'You okay?' she knew Brooke was talking about the whole Luke situation but she refused to talk about it. All she had done lately was think, talk, breathe the whole Lucas saga, and she was done! That's why she had to get out of here and fast. So she smiled at her friend and told her exactly what she wanted to hear and what she wanted to believe herself.

'I'm alright Brooke.'

'You sure? Coz...'

'I'm sure.' She reassured her smiling at her again. Brooke smiled back at her resigned.

'Okay, well do you want me to come with you? Or I can get Chase for you.' she said the last part silently. Peyton tilted her head and studied her friend.

'Oh Brooke.'

'What?' Brooke stared at her blankly

'Hunnie you know that there is nothing going on with me and Chase right?' she said trying to reassure her. She saw a whole load of conflicting emotions flicker through her best friend's brown eyes. _Oh brother!_ Did these two need their heads banging together?

'You should try talking to him you know, he kinda feels the same way about you.' she said finally resigned turning to leave but the next words out of Brooke's lips halted her.

'Don't know what you are talking about.' Peyton smiled sadly and turned back to her friend.

'Oh hunnie, there is no need to lie to me.' She assured her. Brooke inhaled deeply changing her stance, holding her head up in defiance.

'I'm not lying.' She said stubbornly. Peyton studied her through her long lashes. She really believed what she was saying!

'Brooke its one thing to lie to me, but lying to yourself is another. It's only going to hurt you.' she said sympathetically.

Peyton's kindness hit Brooke right in the middle. How could she be so encouraging with a guy that she liked?

'Honey I love Chase, just not like that.' Peyton assured her as if reading her thoughts. Brooke's eyes flew to hers in shock. 'But I can see it as clear as day that you have feelings for him?' the last statement was more of a question than a statement.

Brooke shook her head tears welling in her eyes. 'I cant...I'm with Owen, _I love _Owen.' She said firmly yet even as she said it she had to wonder why every time she saw him with Peyton she was overcome with a sudden wave of jealousy. She loved Owen, there was no doubt about that, but the recent feelings that she had developed for Chase had her questioning their entire relationship! And he didn't deserve that. She was finally with a guy who wanted her, she was happy. She would be damned if she ruined it by looking at something that she should have left in high school right where it belonged; especially if it was some result of some residual feelings and not anything real.

* * *

As soon as she stepped through the doors she was enveloped by the pungent smell of hot air and sweat churning together with alcohol to make it complete. But she didn't mind. This was what she needed, her solace. So she let the loud music swirl around her, carry her forward through sweaty gyrating bodies on the dance floor. One guy even thought himself to be brave enough to grab her ass. He never knew what hit him, she spun around abruptly and before he knew what was happening she had his family jewels in her hands – literally. Clearly misinterpreting her intentions, he leered at her pressing himself closer to her.

'You like some of that do you? Come with me and I can show you a really good time sweetheart.' That was his first mistake amongst many. This was a very sober Peyton, and right then, a very pissed off Peyton. If he had wanted one that would have let it go, he should have waited till she had a bit more drinks in her. She smiled up at him.

'I bet you would love that wouldn't you.'

He reached out to her to kiss her, but his lips never even got within ten inches of her face. He felt a sudden excruciating pain shoot from his balls right to his toes then back to his head again.

He screamed out loud reaching to strike her calling her all sorts of names. Peyton squeezed even tighter then twisted bringing him doubling over on his knees.

'You do that again...you will never ever procreate.' She promised threateningly. He moaned in pain. She twisted harder, just not too hard but hard enough for him to feel the pain. The crowd that had gathered around them without her noticing groaned right along with him, the man clutching their crotches.

'You need help miss?' a bouncer she had met several times she had been suddenly appeared beside her. He was fighting off a grin.

'No we alright here, aren't we?' the question was directed to the man in front of her. He tried to speak but the words seemed to be failing him. So he only nodded tears streaming down his burning cheeks.

'Atta boy. Now I'm going to turn around and be on my way. You will NEVER lay your grubby hands on me ever again, or grab any other woman for that matter. Nod if you understand.' He stared at her his eyes blazing with fury. Peyton tilted her head and squeezed tighter. He yelled in agony.

'Sawyer that's enough!' Peyton's head whipped around in the direction of the voice and her green eyes clashed with the blue ones that she recognised very well. What the hell was he doing here? He stared at her, then to the man who was looking pleadingly at him silently begging him for salvation. Peyton turned to the man in front of her again ignoring the one behind her.

'Like I said be a good boy now and nod if you understand.' He slowly nodded.

'I'm sorry, I didn't see that.'

'It won't happen again!' he ground out hoarsely when her hand made to tighten even more around him if that was possible.

'Now that wasn't so hard now was it.' she suddenly let go leaving him to collapse on the floor on her feet.

'Now if you don't mind I need a drink.' She gave him a disgusted look as she stepped over him and made her way to the bar.

'First drink is on me.' Said a woman she sat next to. Peyton smiled at her conveying her thanks. The woman who introduced herself as Faith called over the bartender and told him to keep them coming.

'It's about time somebody gave that leech a taste of his own medicine. He grabs anything in a skirt and it's absolutely disgusting.' She said her tongue rolling with a British accent.

'Here is to...long legged blonde heroes.' She clinked her glass with Peyton's and they downed their drinks. Peyton shut her eyes as the brown liquid burned its way down her throat by now. You would think that she would be used to this feeling by now.

'Sawyer.' Peyton groaned hoping that when she opened her eyes he wouldn't be next to her, but he was in all his glory looking condescendingly at her. The last thing she needed was somebody with a hero complex butting into her business.

'What are you doing here?' she asked him not looking at him.

'I could ask you the same question.'

'It's a bar, what do you think I'm doing here?' there was a long pause broken by Faith sliding another drink into her hand.

'What was that back there anyway?'

'Geez if you gonna keep asking stupid questions with obvious answers then we are going to be here for a long time.' There was another pause.

'How are you?' Peyton slammed her glass on the bar top startling Faith

'Are you serious right now?' she ground out furiously shooting daggers at him.

'I'm just worried about you.'

'Because...'

'You know why Sawyer.' He ground out in frustration. Why was she being like this? Why was she being so difficult?

'How is your marriage Nathan?' she said coldly. He flinched as if she had struck him. His marriage was a sore subject and she knew it. Hell she had been there with him for some of it for Pete's sake. So why was she being an insensitive bitch. To think that he had been worried about her with his brother back with his new wife and everything!!!

'You are a bitch, you know that?' he got up and left. Peyton groaned. Dammit, she had gone too far. And she knew it. She just felt so prickly all of a sudden, and he was the only connection she had right here right now to the reason for her foul mood so it was logical for her to take it out on him. Or so it had seemed. She groaned again.

'Nathan, wait!' she called after him but her voice swallowed by the loud music.

'I'll be right back.' She said to Faith and set off running after him. She caught up with him when he was by the door already.

'I'm sorry.' She laid her hand on his arm.

'What the fuck Sawyer?' he yelled his eyes filled with both fury and anger.

'It wasn't you Nate, it was me I was just...'

'Of course it want me, I was actually trying to be nice coz I was concerned about my _friend_.' Peyton flinched. The word was wrapped in a little cocoon of disgust he felt at that moment towards her and considering her little stunt a few minutes ago she didn't blame him one aorta.

'Look Nate I was just projecting okay, I was just mad and you were there and...I'm sorry okay, can we just forget it.'

Nathan groaned. She was going through a hard time, he knew that, but dammit so was he and she knew that.

'Look just come and join us for a drink, which is after all the reason you came here wasn't it? You don't even have to talk to me.' She smirked at him

'Now how am I supposed to do that?' she knew just as well as he did that he could never be in the same room as her and not talk to her. Peyton just shrugged smiling coyly at him. Then she turned and walked back to the bar leaving him to follow behind her.

'Oh, finally! I thought you had left me here all alone to deal with these drunks.' Faith waved her hands around gesturing towards the bar.

'And what would you have done if you wouldn't have met me here?' Peyton asked planting her hands on her waist.

Faith slugged her arm around Peyton's shoulders whilst downing another shot. 'The good thing my dear is that we will never have to find out about that.' Peyton chuckled. She already felt better; felt like Karen's party was another world all together and the only link to it was Nathan. Speaking of which...

'Faith this is my friend Nathan, Nate this is Faith.'

'Oohhh, he is yummy.' She said in a loud whisper making all of them laugh. She manoeuvred herself around Peyton till she was in front of Nathan and her hands were framing his face. 'Please tell me your gorgeous face is staying...oh wait,' she let him go so fast as if he had burned her. 'You're married aren't you? I don't do married men.' She declared turning away from him.

'Not anymore.' he stated coolly, his face hard not showing any emotion at all. Peyton's eyes flew to his.

'Nate...'

'It's okay.' He shrugged nonchalantly.

But it wasn't. She felt like the lowest scum on earth. She had been such a bitch to him earlier and she had been so wrapped up in her own problems lately that she hadn't even checked in with him. And now that she was thinking about it, compared to a man who had just lost his wife, whatever she was going through wasn't that big of a deal.

'I got the call that the divorce was final this morning.' As Peyton watched her friend her heart broke for him all over again. He shouldn't be going through something like this. She had always thought that he and Haley would get back together, that they were just going through a rough patch. How had things got so out of hand?

'I'm so sorry Nathan, I should have...'

'You were going through your own shit sawyer, sides I didn't check on you either.'

'Is this pity party going to be over any time soon, coz I'm getting bored. Besides the best way to get over any problems in life is my friend José.' she filled up three shot glasses with tequila. When had she got that?

'You do know how to drink tequila don't you?' she asked as she held out their own glasses to them. She put some salt on their palms before doing the same to her own as well.

'Bottoms up.' She held up her glass for a salute. They licked the salt, downed their shots and bit into their limes simultaneously.

'ahhh.' Nathan closed his eyes as the liquid burned its way down. 'I forgot how hot tequila can be.'

'How are you not drunk by now?' Peyton quizzed her new friend baffled.

'I'm Irish sugar, I can drink you under the table three times.' Peyton studied her from her spiky dyed red hair, chocolate brown skin and her unusual green eyes. Contacts? Faith noticed her studying her and smiled to herself. It had taken her longer than it normally took others.

'Yes that is not my real hair colour; yes there are actually black Irish people. The accent is because I was raised in England, in New Castle to be exact. Oh and yes the eye colour is all mine.' She grinned cheekily at Peyton who looked down embarrassed.

'Oh come on.' She nudged her shoulder with hers. 'It's all good; it's not that big of a deal.'

Peyton nodded and ordered another drink. What could she say? There was nothing to say.

So they sat there, the three of them drinking themselves to stupors doing anything they could to eradicate whatever it was that was bothering them. They talked about everything and anything except for the things that really mattered. At some point Faith pulled Peyton to the dance floor as they started dancing. They collapsed in fits of laughter when Nathan tried to join in with Faith accusing him of having no rhythm whatsoever.

After that things got a little fuzzy for Peyton, she remembered telling Faith about wanting to start her own record label, Nathan telling them how he was playing ball again in the hopes of getting back in the NBA. Faith had told them about how she was passing by Tree Hill on her way to place where she could make all her dreams come true.

* * *

She jerked awake and almost tumbled out of bed. She scrambled back on the bed pulling the sheets with her. She looked around her in confusion. This wasn't her bed, let alone Brooke's! She groaned out loud as the room began tilting on its axis. Her throat was dry and her mouth felt like it was filled with saw dust. She felt a hairy arm brush against her before she heard the groan beside her. That was definitely male. Oh god what had she done? She was almost too afraid to look, scared what she would find. She didn't want to confirm what she already knew, what the evidence was telling her. She was naked for Pete's sake. In somebody else's bed!

But she turned anyway, she had to. She turned just as he opened his eyes. She was filled with utter horror at what she saw. Holy mother what had she done?! She scrambled off the bed as bile rose within her and she got into the bathroom in just in time and she buried her head in the toilet bowel as she heaved all the contents of her stomach.

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she cried, for what she had done. She was filled with self disgust, and she threw up again. What had she done?! She didn't even remember getting here! And how the hell did she get back from this. Yeah people had drunken rolls in the hay, but not her, never her! In all the time she had been drinking herself senseless she had never ever woken up with a guy next to her. She knew Brooke and Chase thought otherwise but sometimes she crashed in the motel room just outside town. She hadn't wanted to face anyone, just wanted to be by herself and not wanted to face their pitying and judging looks.

But now she had committed the ultimate sin, she had crossed a line that she should never ever have been a thousand miles within. There was no way of getting back from this!

She threw up again and again till her stomach was empty and she was heaving nothing but air.

She was startled by the knock on the door.

'Peyton? Are you okay?'

'Go away!' she croaked. How was she supposed to face him? Everything had changed between them the minute she got naked in front of him!

'Peyton come on open up.' He pleaded and she collapsed against the bathroom wall sobbing. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. She muttered it till it became a mantra while she banged her head against the toilet bowl. He was her best friend! Why had she had to go and ruin it?

'Peyton if you don't open the door I will knock it down.' He promised and she didn't doubt him for a second. He would do it too!

'Just a second.' She got up, rinsed her mouth with mouth wash and pulled a towel from the shelf wrapping it around herself.

'She opened the door to find him leaning against the door frame studying her steadily. She looked anywhere but him.

'You okay?' he asked her softly.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' She passed by him and started searching for her clothes

'Look about yesterday...' he started nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

'I'm trying to forget that right now.' She wouldn't even look at him and suddenly he was mad. Did she lame him for this? He pulled her by his arms to face him and was ready to rip into her but the tears in her eyes were nearly his undoing.

'Peyton, I didn't plan this, I didn't set out to do this. It just happened.' He said softly with a tinge of hurt in his voice. Her eyes flew into his when she caught it.

'Nate, I know.' She reassured him softly. 'But this wasn't right. We made a terrible mistake, and I don't know how we can get back from this.' She said gesturing towards the rumbled sheets on the bed.

'It's only a mistake if we say it is.'

She groaned. 'Nathan you know it was. If we weren't drunk we both know that we would never ever have gone there.'

He didn't say anything, simply turned away from her, so she continued. 'You are my best friend, and I don't want anything to change between us.' He still didn't say anything.

'Nathan?'

'I'm sorry you want my opinion now?' he asked her his eyes hooded and cool.

'Don't be like that.' she pleaded.

'What do you want me to say? there was two people in there but it seems as if you have gone through this in your head and you have made all the decisions so I don't know what you really want me to say Peyt.'

'It's just that I'm still in love with Luke.' She pointed out sadly. He scoffed cynically.

'Oh no one could ever forget that!'

'That's not fair.'

'I'm not asking you to marry me and I didn't say I wanted a relationship with you for that matter. Hell I haven't even say I want a repeat of last night for that matter. Actually I haven't even said anything coz you won't let me. All I wanted was for us to deal with this like adults, coz we are friends after all and I wanted us to be able to sort this out.' He ranted as he pulled on his clothes.

'You know what? You can let yourself out when you are done.' He stuck his feet in his flip-flops and before she knew it he was gone.

She collapsed in bed sobs wrecking her body. Well she had made a mess of that one then hadn't she?

Her biggest fear since she woke up had just materialised.

She spotted diving into the water at the beach. She waited for him to come out all the time trying to figure out what she was going to tell him. When he reached where she was standing he didn't even meet her eyes.

'Nathan...' she started. He didn't even stop, just started towelling himself dry walking back to the beach house.

'Nathan please.'

'What?' he asked exasperated as he finally spun to her.

'I'm sorry okay.' She said simply. Her mom used to say that sometimes when you messed up, all you needed to say was that you were sorry, nothing less nothing more, and right now that was all she had to say.

'What do you want from me sawyer?'

'I just want us to be okay.'

He shrugged nonchalantly, 'we are okay.' Peyton sighed. He had shut down on her. He reminded her of the high school Nathan, minus the anger that is.

'This is the reason why I was saying that this was a mistake, this right here!'

'Aww Peyton stop okay? It happened and guess what we are both still here. Dissecting it isn't going to help. And if you had given me the chance we would have talked it out so that nothing changed between us.'

Peyton stared at him. He was right she had panicked which was understandable, but she also should have given him some credit.

'Cant we go back and pretend that I didn't have verbal diarrhoea?' she pleaded with him. He sighed and cursed under his breath.

'Aww come here you.' he pulled her into his arms. She burrowed herself deeper in his arms taking comfort in the way they felt around her.

'Look we were just two people that were going through some bad times and we found comfort in each other. But I'm not going to pretend that it never happened. This is you and I Sawyer and I love you, so even though in the long list of ideas that you and me have ever had- this was a bad one, I refuse to label it as a mistake. Peyton looked up at him confused, not sure what he wanted her to say but also grateful at the way he had handled it.

'So we are okay?'

'Yeah we are more than okay. As for the rest we can figure it out later.' He smiled down at her reassuringly and she felt herself relax.

'Okay.'

'Okay. Now let's go get some breakfast, you kinda took it outta me last night..., well what I can remember of it. He teased. She laughed and slipped her hand into his as they walked back to his house for the promised breakfast

**a.n: sorry again for the late update. Please please review, I would love to know what you think of this chapter**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**a.n: okay I know that some of you are confused about the whole Peyton-Nathan thing and I'm sorry. It will become clearer I promise. Just be patient with me **

**This chapter contains sexual scenes so please if you are under the ages of 18 please do not read!!!**

He paced up and down the big cosy room. He had come here last night after the party wanting some time to himself, not really wanting to go to Owen's. He hadn't really wanted to see Brooke and Owen, not after the way they were at the party. So he had come here.

Right now he wanted to be anywhere but here, coz this place now held memories that he would have loved to keep forever but because of the way things ended he didn't even want anything that reminded him of last night. He collapsed on the bed, running his hand on his face a thousand emotions cursing through him throwing him in a fitful turmoil. The sight of the rumbled sheets had him jumping off the bed so fast one would have thought that he had been scorched.

Urgh why had she done this to him? Did she hate him that much?

FLASHBACK

_He was on his third beer wallowing in his self pity and wondering what the hell he was still doing here. If he was trying to get over her coming over to her house was not a good idea. He was still grilling himself and trying to find a solution to his predicament when he heard the knock on his door. Peyton probably back from where ever she had set off to. But he was surprised by who he found on the other side of the door._

'_Brooke...' he was about to ask her what she was doing here but the tears streaming down her face stopped him short. All the resolves he had about staying away from her crumbled in his feet._

'_Hey hey, come on now, what's up?' she broke into sobs then throwing her arms around him. He froze momentarily not really sure what to do. Then he softened and his arms snaked around her comforting her._

_They stayed like that before he finally asked her what was going on. She continued sobbing not saying anything._

'_Brooke?' he set her away from him making her look in his face._

'_I had this huge fight with Owen.' Chase groaned. He didn't want to hear this! Especially not now, when he just realised he had feelings for her!_

'_Brooke...'_

'_I don't even know what we were fighting about. One minute we were talking about the future and then he started talking about you and me. I don't even know why. It's not like I have given him any reason to feel jealous.'_

_Chase pulled her so that they were sitting on the bed, he tucked her hair behind her ear with his left hand while rubbing circles round her lower back with his right hand._

'_I don't think we want the same things in the future.' She was saying but he was barely listening. Brooke Davis was in his bedroom, well technically her guest bedroom but all the same she was in his bedroom! And her being so close like this was wrecking havoc to his libido._

'_I'm gonna go get you a glass of water.' He said jumping up._

'_No please Chase, stay...please.' she looked at him with her big pleading brown eyes and he knew there was no way he would deny her anything when she looked at him like that. Being in such close quarters with her was not a good idea. _

_He reluctantly sat down next to her but a bit further this time. She looked up at him her eyes wide, her face vulnerable. He sighed and cursed under his breath. He was screwed!_

'_It's going to be okay.' He said lamely, trying to veer his thoughts of the direction they were heading seeing her sitting on his bed like that._

'_Is it, coz it doesn't feel like it? I mean if we are headed in different directions why are we even continuing with this relationship?' she had got up now and was pacing. Chase just watched her. He didn't really know what she wanted him to say._

'_Maybe you just need to talk to him, make him understand, and hear his side.' he said rationally. She sat down next to him closing the distance between them that he had been so eager to put._

'_I did, I tried, but he wasn't interested in talking, he just wanted me to listen and agree with him. Urgh he can be so stubborn sometimes!'_

_This time Chase really didn't say anything. He got the feeling that all she wanted was for him to be there to listen._

_She sighed hanging her head before she looked up at him again. 'Things were so much easier with you.' she stated sadly. He didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing._

'_They were so much simpler. We both wanted the same things and I knew where I stood with you.' she finished with her voice getting lower and raspier._

'_Brooke...' he could feel the change in the atmosphere around them. She took a deep breath leaning towards him._

'_Brooke.' he warned weakly. This wasn't right he knew that. She was vulnerable and he would be taking advantage, which was the last thing he wanted and he told her as much._

_She silenced him by planting her lips on his firmly. He froze at first, not moving, but when she moved her lips over his over his over and over again he found his resistance crumbling._

'_Brooke stop, this isn't right. What about Owen?'_

_Brooke shook her head kissing him again and when she brushed her tongue over his lips he could feel all common sense leaving him. He groaned slightly as if in pain pulling her even closer to him returning the kiss with even more passion that she was giving him. Doubt and guilt attacked him from all directions. He was going to hate himself tomorrow; she was going to hate him. But hell right now, right this second when he had her in his arms right where he had wanted her to be again ever since he first saw again, all that didn't matter, what mattered was her, him, right here right now. So he deepened the kiss as he lifted her to straddle his lap. She moaned loudly as she wrapped her arms around him and he answered her moan by pulling her even closer to him, inhaling her scent, her essence. She had always loved his kisses in high school, he thought to himself smugly and he didn't want to brag but he had gotten better with the years._

_She pushed him back on the bed so that she was lying on top of him and she was wriggling to get comfortable he figured; but whatever the reason was, she was killing him! He felt as if his whole body was ablaze. He flipped her so that she was lying beneath him, and he dragged her up a little laying her on the pillows. He looked down at her, her hair splayed on his pillow like that, her lips swollen from being utterly ravished. He couldn't believe how lucky he was. But would she stay in the morning, or would she just vanish just as suddenly as she appeared?_

_She wrapped her legs around him bringing snug between them and all the doubts that he had fled his mind till the only thing that was left was the blood roaring furiously to his brain leaving him light headed and breathless. She framed his head with her hands smiling up at him and brought his head down to him kissing him passionately. Soon enough he grudgingly left her lips trailing kisses along her neck till he found that pulse point in her neck that made her arch off the bed throwing her head back._

'_Chase.' She moaned raspily as he lightly nipped her neck before darting his tongue out and soothing it. She tightened her legs around him, pushing him closer to her so that she could feel his thick bulge between her legs. He moved further down taking the straps of her top along with him as he went. Soon enough she was naked but for the lacy black panties that barely covered her. Chase growled like a wounded animal. She was beautiful, plain and simple, no questions about it. She gazed up at him her eyes glazed with desire. He pounced on her, taking her nipple in his mouth and suckled as if his life depended on it. She writhed under him gripping a fistful of his hair, just not tight enough to hurt him. He growled again momentarily letting go throwing his head back as pleasure coursed through him. Seeing the way she parted her lips and bit her lips, the way she moaned in obvious pleasure turned him on more than anything she could ever do. He turned his attentions to her other breast while squeezing the other with his hand. He bit her nipple and she screamed and for a second he thought that he had hurt her till she moaned pulling him up to her and kissing him on the lips showing him rather than telling him how much she enjoyed it._

'_Do that again.' She commanded sultrily. He chucked moving down again. _

'_Maybe later.' He promised trailing kisses down her stomach, dipping his tongue in her navel._

'_Chase...' she said pulling his head up._

'_What is it beautiful?'_

'_You are wearing too many clothes.'_

'_That can be remedied.' He smiled coyly quickly riding himself of all his clothes his eyes following her hungrily as she wriggled out of her thong._

_He picked up her leg caressing it lightly, kissing each and every one of her toes, the instep of her foot which had her sucking in her breath. He moved down her calf, the back of her knee and she nearly jumped out of her skin. He smiled down at her smugly, he had found her weak spot...well well, what do you know? When he made to move further up she stopped him._

_He looked up at her questioningly._

'_I don't wanna wait anymore.' she said huskily. _

_That flicker of doubt returned again. So he asked her if she was sure, if that's what she wanted._

'_I'm here right now aren't I?' she said caressing his cheek smiling softly at him. It wasn't what he wanted to hear, far from it, but right now it would have to do. They had gone so far that he didn't think that he would be able to let her go right how. He was as hard as a rock and he wanted her, no craved her the way he craved his next breath._

_He reached over her to his left drawer and retrieved a condom and sheathed himself. He kissed her softly before slowly entering her. She moaned in his mouth and it took all his strength for him not to slam into her. She cried out when he pulled out before he sank into her again. She ached into him and he groaned as the motion pushed him even deeper into her. She moved against him, urging him on, meeting him thrust for thrust. He felt as if he was going to lose it but yet wanted it to last on and on. He picked up the pace moving in and out of her, in and out, in and out. Brooke arched her back clawing his back trying to hold so as not to go over the edge. Chase was already on edge he wasn't sure how long he would last. He felt the bottom of his back tighten and knew that release was fast approaching. He reached between them and rubbed her clit once or twice. She tightened around him and they both soared, the white heat taking them to heights unknown. Brooke screamed his name trembling around him in the aftermath of her orgasm. Chase rolled off her trying to catch his breath, trying to get his body to calm from the pure ecstasy that Brooke Davis had shown him. He pulled her towards him and she nestled on the crook on his neck as he kissed her softly on the forehead, letting contentment envelope them in its cocoon promising himself that he wouldn't let tomorrow or anything intrude, not at that moment._

End flashback

But there was no tomorrow. He woke up to find her frantically searching for her clothes whilst doing her best to be quiet in her obvious bid not to wake him. His heart came to a screeching halt. He prayed to whoever was listening that his fears would come to nothing.

'Brooke?' she whipped round to face him her features drenched in guilt. His heart dropped to his stomach. No!

'Hey.' She said hesitantly looking anywhere but him. Suddenly he wanted to scream at her, at himself, anyone! She was not doing this, she couldn't do this. The previous night had been amazing, she couldn't deny that!

'Come back to bed.' He said hoarsely, trying to convince himself that maybe he was misreading everything wrong. But the way she hung her head before slowly turning to him, her eyes wide with unshed tears told him that he had everything exactly right down to a T.

'Look Chase, about last night...'

'Don't say it.' he pleaded with her. He knew exactly what she was going to say, and he was pretty sure that it was going to hurt like hell. He felt like he was starring at the barrel of a gun.

She shook her head those tears she was fighting so hard to keep at bay rolling down her cheeks. 'It was a mistake Chase, we shouldn't have.' And just like that the gun fired the bullet right into his chest boring a whole in his heart. He collapsed back on the bed his mind whirling. He had known, of course he had known that she would regret it in the morning but he had hoped. Which was pretty stupid, what had he thought was going to happen, that she was going to wake up and suddenly decide that she wanted to be with him forever?

'I dint mean for this to happen. And I'm sorry I dint mean to hurt you either, but I love Owen.' She was saying but he was hardly listening. He was wrapped in his own world that consisted only of grief. A world where he could see the woman of his dreams slipping away from him and there was nothing he could do about it. But she was never his in the first place though was she? She had only been on loan. When she said she still loved Owen it was as if she plunged a really blunt knife in his chest and was twisting with all her might.

Then the rest of the nightmare roared into life. Oh my God Owen! He was his best friend and what had he done? Slept with his girlfriend! What kind of person did that? Owen would be totally destroyed when he found out! He loved Brooke to bits. And Chase hadn't let that stop him though had he, while he was making love to his best friend's girlfriend. So what right did he have now to feel hurt? None whatsoever! His eyes to hers filled with guilt. What had he done? Seriously when did he become this selfish person who didn't care about hurting other people's feelings? Brooke gasped seeing the slide show of emotions on his face, the ones she recognised the most being anger and guilt. Was he angry at her? That was the last thing she wanted. So when he told her quietly that maybe her leaving would be a good idea, she gathered up the rest of her stuff and was out of there with a curt nod.

He picked up the nearest thing he could find which happened to be a bed side lamp and hauled it against the wall and felt a tiny sense of satisfaction as he watched it shutter into tiny shreds. He wanted to scream, punch something, anything to let out this tension, this hurt, this anger.

She shouldn't have come here, why would she do that to him? Why would she break his heart like that? Now they couldn't even be friends cos she would never be able to look at him now, not when every time she looked at him she would be seeing the man who made her betray the man she loved.

He had to get out of here. This was her house and he didn't want to be anywhere that reminded him of her right now. It was excruciating.

He slowed down when he came to her door. He could hear her silent sobs as clear as day, and that was nearly enough to prompt him to go bursting in there and take her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be alright. But it wasn't though, far from it! And he was pretty sure that he was the last person she wanted to see for a long time.

So he left and went to the only place where he could think clearly without any distractions...the little secluded part at the beach. He needed to figure out his next move.

**a.n: this chapter is a little short and I'm not really satisfied with it. Would love to know what you think though. Please review.**

**Got intense exams coming up so I'm gonna be MIA for a while, but don't worry I'll be back with a bang with loads n loads of updates**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**A.n; Okay so I know I haven't updated in forever, I'm really sorry about that. But I noticed the lack of reviews and I gotta admit it can kinda be uninspiring****. I need some inspiration so please help!**

She didn't even think about it, not this part anyway, but the events that had led to this part? Oh yeah, She had thought about those, mulled them over and damn well obsessed about them. She had done nothing but think about it for the past twenty hours. After leaving Nathan's yesterday she had headed straight home. She had been ready for that heart to heart with her best friend, well at least the beginning of one. She hadn't thought that she was up to the heavy stuff just yet but she was ready to talk to her. She had been met by a note on the mantel scribbled in Brooke's neat scrawl informing her that she was she was flying over to Milan for a couple of nights. Milan? Brooke usually let Millie fly out for the shows that were out of the country so why would she fly out for this one? She immediately dialled her number sensing that something wasn't right all the while scrambling her brain trying to remember how her best friend had seemed last night. She had been fine, well except for the stuff about Chase. But everything else had been just fine.

She cursed softly when her phone immediately went into voicemail, so she left a message and asked her if she was okay, told her she was worried about her and asked her to call her as soon as she could. Next she called Owen and who also didn't answer his phone. She gave up after it rang for the fourth time. She tried Chase next and frowned when he didn't pick up. That was weird. Chase always answered her calls, always! She shrugged and decided that maybe she would call him later. She couldn't expect him to always be there for her. He had his own life to live, his own problems to deal with. She had just been too wrapped up in herself to notice.

She decided to go for a walk, to clear her head, with the hope that when she got back Brooke would at least have called and she would at least have some form of idea about what she was going to do with her life next. It turned out to be the worst idea that she had ever had, but then again what else was new when it came to her these days. Lately she had been an endless source of bad ideas.

She hadn't realised how many memories she and Lucas had made here. Every time she turned around she'd remember something she and Lucas had done, or a moment they'd shared. Some good...very good, and some bad...really bad. It got to a point where she couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't breathe. Memories were attacking her from all directions and she was drowning in them. She hated the fact that the one place that had been her home ever since she was born was now associated with pain. She loved it here. This is where she grew up, where she had memories with her mom, although even those good memories of her were being overshadowed by the bad ones of her death. Oh for fuck's sake, was there a nook or cranny in this forsaken town that wouldn't reduce her to tears? Even she had had enough! No more!

She didn't even know how she ended up in the stupid cafe. It was probably one of those girly instincts, that when you are upset you head for the one place that can provide you with comfort food. And in this case it was the cafe. Brooke had brought her here the other day for lunch which she hadn't even eaten if she remembered well. She had said this was the 'new' Karen's cafe. Apparently they had the best chocolate cake, and right now she needed chocolate, in any form, and loads of it!

The woman in the counter smiled at her and Peyton didn't have the energy to smile back at her. What the hell was she so happy about this early in the morning anyway? She was so busy scowling and berating herself that she didn't even notice him till he barrelled straight into her nearly sending her toppling over.

'Whooff.' She felt all air leaving her as she tried to scramble for balance but she could barely move as her feet were tangled in a tight hold.

'What the...Jamie?' she blinked rapidly blinking away any trace of her tears.

'Aunt Peyton!' he looked up at her adoringly giving her that toothless smile that she loved so much. He still loved her no matter what she had done. She was still his favourite aunt Peyton.

Oh how he loved the little boy who looked way too much like his uncle for his own good.

'What are you doing here little man?' she crouched down to his level and smiled at him. Him she could manage to smile for, he was worth it.

'Momma and me and Uncle Luke and Lindsey are here for breakfast.' he said innocently. He eyes immediately looked behind him, her eyes landing on the three adults who were starring at her from the corner. Shit! Just what she needed (!) They were starring at her, and suddenly she had the strongest urge to turn and run and hide. There was too much hate directed at her. But when they saw that she was now starring back at them they looked away, suddenly finding their coffees very interesting. Pftt did they think that she wanted to meet them? Hell no! She'd rather turn around right now and leave, and not because she was scared of them either. That ship had sailed just about ten seconds ago. They clearly hated her, and she didn't even want to try and work things out with any of them, not even Haley who had made it more than perfectly clear that she didn't want to be a part of her life anymore and that was just fine with her. She was tired of fighting to be a part of people's life who didn't want her. She was done. With Lucas too! But that didn't mean that seeing him looking all happy and married didn't hurt. It was like her heart was being ripped apart, a feeling she was getting used to but wasn't hurting any less.

But right now right this moment, she wasn't going to cause a scene, or fall apart although she suspected that's what they expected of her. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction. She would maintain some semblance of dignity even if it killed her.

So she straightened up, held her head up high and pushed back her shoulders and made her way to their table with Jamie in tow. She didn't bother with the smile though, that would have been taking things too far.

But she couldn't help the way her heart was thundering loudly in her chest, and her knees were shaking. Sure she had given herself a pep talk but it would take more than a few minutes to take effect. She was nervous that was for sure!

'Hey.' She said quietly. She didn't fail to notice the way they all starred at her, and she just wanted to get this over and done with. Her eyes settled on Lindsey. She was the lesser of three evils. It was Funny how two weeks ago she was the only evil.

She didn't want to see the disapproving look on Haley's face, the face that used to belong to one of her best friends, and the face that used to welcome her no matter what. But she supposed she couldn't exactly blame her could she? Lucas had been her best friend ever since they were two years old so it was only natural that she would take his side. Peyton had only been a girl who had just come along later in her life, and let's face it; she was only there because of Lucas. She had just hoped that their years of friendship would be enough for her not to pick sides or at the very least give her the benefit of the doubt. But sadly it hadn't been.

'Hey.' A deeper voice of all three was saying. A voice that she knew so well, but barely recognised anymore. She had to fight every fibre of her being not to turn around and look at him. Oh how she wanted to look at his face, just one more time. But she knew that if she laid her eyes on him, her resolve not to fall apart would go out the window. So she busied herself with Jamie's hair instead. She was afraid that she would end up crumbling and falling apart, Making an even bigger fool of herself than she already had, if that was even possible. These people already had a low enough opinion of her as it was.

'How have you guys been?' what the hell? Was she serious? She didn't even need to look up to know what they were thinking. Was she for real right now? Did she even care? Truth? Yeah, she did. About all of them, Lindsey included because as much as it hurt her, Lucas loved her, and she loved Lucas. Boy did she ever. But they didn't want to hear that and if she was honest, she didn't want to tell them either.

'We've been good, really good.' Lindsey said snapping her back into the conversation, gazing at her husband adoringly forcing Peyton's gaze to finally land on him. Her heart skidded over. Dammit! He was beautiful, just as beautiful as she remembered him. And she missed him...a lot. Their eyes connected, just for a second, but that was all it took. It was as if everything around her froze, her heart jumped into her throat and she couldn't breathe. She wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek, and kiss him, and tell him that she missed him, and how much she loved him. But he turned away and kissed Lindsey lightly on the lips. He could have scooped up her broken heart and smashed it all over again. That would have hurt less. She took a deep breath and schooled her features not intending to show any emotion whatsoever.

Then she did the strangest thing, she smiled. She felt like she was stretching her face in directions it was s not supposed to go. They all looked at her strangely, and Haley's face also had suspicion added to it.

'How have you been?' she said suspiciously raising her neatly plucked eyebrow at her.

'I've been great.' She lied smoothly without skipping a beat. Another neatly plucked eyebrow shot up. Peyton folded her hands across her chest and raised hers defiantly. She had been feeling like crap and they all knew that, Especially Haley. She was being a bitch. What did she think Peyton would do? Admit that on some days she barely got out of bed coz she didn't have the strength? How about the fact that lately she had been struggling to find anything worth living for? Hell would freeze over before she told her that.

An uncomfortable silence followed with Haley and Peyton starring at each other tensely. You could practically cut it with the bluntest knife available.

'Do you wanna join us?' Lindsey offered politely. Everyone swivelled towards her as if she had lost her mind. She just shrugged not looking at any of them. Peyton had to hand it to her. She knew perfectly well that the other woman didn't want to extend the invitation, but she had to do something to diffuse the awkward tension, only she would definitely make things worse if she accepted. That didn't mean that she didn't appreciate the gesture none the less, so she smiled at her genuinely and politely declined saying that she had to go anyway. Lindsey smiled back, what Peyton thought was a genuine smile. If you had told a couple of hours ago that she and Lindsey would be allies, well of some sort? Well she would have probably punched you in the face. But here they were. Surprising how things turned out.

Just then the waitress called her order up and she had never been so grateful for anything in her life!

'Right then, that's me!' she said cheerfully, too cheerful. But she didn't care, she was leaving! She spun around so quickly that she didn't have time to look where she was going and collided with a solid body.

'Whoa, you okay?' he asked steadying her.

'Daddy!' in an instant Jamie was beside them again and Nathan let go of Peyton to scoop up his son but his eyes never left hers.

Images of last night flashed in her head like a slideshow and she couldn't shut them out. She shut her eyes and broke the eye contact.

'Hey buddy.' She could hear him saying, a smile in his voice.

When she opened them again they landed on Haley who had stiffened up so much that you could easily have snapped her in two. Her lips straightened into a thin white line.

'Nathan.' She said curtly. Peyton didn't miss the shadow that passed over her eyes, and the pain in Nathan's was there for all to see.

'Haley.' He said trying to reign in his emotions.

Seeing her sitting there, looking more beautiful than he had ever seen her, his heart lurched, and swelling with his love for her.

He missed her, he wanted to take her in his arms and take her home, their home, where they belonged, together as a family. But her eyes, her stance told him that she would rather castrate him rather see that happen. He pulled his son closer hugging him tightly till Jamie began to squirm.

'Daddy I can't breathe' Nathan chuckled lightly letting him down.

'I just miss you little man that's all.'

'I miss you too daddy.' Jamie said sadly and for the first time in a long time in his adult life Nathan wanted to burst into tears.

'I know buddy.' He said casting Haley an accusing look.

'Can we hang out today? Please daddy, I'll be really good. I promise.' The little boy pleaded. Haley started shaking her head even before Jamie finished talking.

'I don't think that's a good idea, Jamie. Daddy is very busy at the moment.' She looked at Nathan sternly warning him to back her up or else.

'Please daddy, you won't even know I'm there.' Jamie pleaded his eyes glistening with tears.

'Jamie!' Haley reprimanded firmly making him jump. He hung his head low tears streaming down his face and he went to his uncle Luke who took him in his arms.

'Haley.' Lucas warned softly. He loved his friend, he did. But she was doing it again, using Jamie in her fight with Nathan. She was so blinded by her rage at him that she didn't realise what she was doing to her son. He missed his dad.

'Stay out of it Luke!' she ground out through clenched teeth her gaze fixed firmly on her husband, well ex.

Luke sighed and just rubbed Jamie's back, comforting him. They really needed to talk, to give Haley some dose of reality check, but not here, not now. There was no need to add fuel to an already explosive situation.

Peyton was about to back away slowly and she was sure that the way things were at the moment she could have easily slipped out and she wouldn't have been noticed. But then she saw Nathan's face, all stony and stormy, the vein in his head jutting out prominently.

A wave of emotions was churning through Nathan, make that a tornado. He was mad! Make that furious! He wanted to smash something just to get the satisfaction of having it shatter into pieces just like his heart had. His son somehow had the idea that his father didn't want to spend time with him. And that was not on. At first he had let the fact that she wanted him to stay away from Jamie go coz he had thought that she needed time to deal with the changes in their lives. Hell they all did. But this was getting ridiculous. He missed his son and by the look on his face Jamie clearly missed him too. He knew from experience that every boy needed his father. He and his brother knew that better than anyone.

He understood that she was angry. Hell he was angry too. His whole life had just seemed to have gone to the crapper within the past few weeks. He was divorced at twenty two and his son already thought that he was too busy for him. Growing up with Dan he had sworn that his children would never ever have cause to doubt his love for them.

What he didn't understand anymore was why she was still angry. The more he thought about it the more confused he became. They had been through worse things than this. But it was like suddenly she had just exploded! He had been stupid to think that for some stupid reason they would work it out, that they belonged together, but obviously not. But he had hoped that they would at least work things out for their boy's sake. Jamie didn't have to suffer for his parent's mistake.

No one was going to keep him away from his son, not even his own wife - wait, make that ex-wife.

He crouched down next to Lucas till Jamie was facing him.

'You know what buddy? I am never too busy for you.' he said briefly casting a death glare Haley's way.

'Really?' Jamie said hopefully but hesitantly.

' Yeah.' Nathan smiled at his son reassuringly.

'Does that mean I can hang out with you today?'

'You betcha.'

'Really? Can I spend time with you other times too?' He said hopefully looking between his parents.

'Yeah, anytime you want buddy.'

Jamie leapt at his father happily. Nathan caught him with great ease.

'Can I momma?' Everybody turned to face Haley, waiting for her reaction. Nathan in turn was glaring at her showing her that he meant business. If she wanted to prevent them from spending time together she would have to explain to his son exactly why he couldn't spend time with his father and not use his busy schedule as an excuse.

She had no choice but to nod.

'Okay then we are gonna go. See you guys later.'

He had barely taken five steps with Jamie in his arms and sawyer right behind him, He had forgotten that she was there; when Haley shot out of her chair.

'Nathan!' he sighed, clenching his teeth, struggling for control. He turned slowly and faced her when he was sure that he had his emotions under control, just barely.

He raised his eyebrows at her, waiting for her to speak.

'Can I have a word?' he still didn't move. 'Privately.' She ground out walking outside not waiting to see if he was going to follow.

'Jaime hunnie why don't you go with aunt Peyton?' He handed his son over to her.

'Come on buddy.' She took his hand passing Haley and leading him out of the diner.

Nathan and Haley followed. He waited till Peyton and Jamie were out of ear shot before he turned and faced Haley irritation blatant in his face.

'What do you want Haley?' it probably came out harsher than he intended but he was exhausted and frustrated and all the other emotions the universe seemed to be throwing at him.

'What the hell was that?' she said angrily. He didn't even bat an eyelash at her tone.

'You are gonna have to be a little more specific.'

'You, blind sighting me with the whole Jamie thing? What the hell was that?' Nathan had to struggle to hold on to his temper.

'I should be asking you that. You have Jamie believing that I'm too busy to spend time with him? Really Haley? When did you start being so petty?'

Haley looked away guilty, a red tinge creeping up her neck and spreading on her cheeks. She was angry, she was beyond furious, he could tell, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore.

'It's just confusing for him right now.' She defended.

'Of course it is Haley, his parents just split up...'

'Yeah and shuffling him around isn't going to help.'

'Its not shuffling him around Haley, its making sure that things stay as normal as they could in this kinda situation, with both his parents in his life. You think cutting him off from his father is going to help?'

'I did not cut him off!'

'No you just make sure that he is not available every time I wanna see him, and you always make excuses! I'm his father Haley for Pete's sake!'

'You think I don't know that?' she yelled tears streaming down her cheeks. Any other time those tears would have affected him but right now he was too angry to care. 'You think it's easy when he asks for you every time, or when I look at him and I see your smile in his eyes Nathan, it's not.'

'Yeah but that's not his fault is it? This doesn't have to be difficult Haley; we can deal with this amicably as adults. We are smart people. We can do this ourselves without involving authorities.' He said quietly and stonily.

Haley paled, her face losing all colour. 'Are you threatening me...you wouldn't?' she stammered furiously.

'I'm saying don't make me fight for him, coz I'll do what I have to. He is my son too, I have as much right to him as you, and I shouldn't have to fight to spend time with him.' He said coldly, his eyes glazed over with anger. She had never seen him so cold.

'You just like your father.' She said venomously.

He just smirked maliciously. 'You know what they say, like father like son.' He stepped past her and walked off.

Haley gasped in horror, taking a deep breath. She scrambled and grabbed onto the wall as her knees gave in. Instantly Lindsey was besides her helping her up.

'What happened?' Lucas was asking. She could only shake her head tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched her son disappear around the corner with his father, and he looked happier than she had seen him in weeks.

_You're looking better more than ever  
oh, how can it be?  
I'm feelin *****ty from the pity I've been giving me.  
I'm getting emails from my friends  
all saying "What's the deal? You can't just act normal like it never happened"  
I took your toothbrush off the sink and then I put it back  
I rearranged the closets manics swinging from the racks?  
I've always hated that your shoes smell like tennis balls  
but now I kinda really miss it..._

I won't know just when you faded  
Count the times how long I waited for this moment to arrive  
I push you away  
I push you away  
I push you away  
Now You're gone  
You're Gone

**AN: I enjoyed writing this chapter, hope you guys enjoy it too. I know Nathan is cold, but he is just standing up for himself and the only thing he's got left that he loves and I think it's about time too. And the old Peyton is slowly coming back. Yet!**

**Please review. It's much more fun to write when u know what people think about what you wrote.**

**Oh yeah, song lyrics are in italics.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A.N: well thank u to everyone who reviewed and read my story. As I promised this time I will be updating more frequently, well at least I will try my best to. The more review the faster I can update, you know how it works.**

He didn't say anything all the way home, not her anyway, which was fine with her so she left him to its. She believed he needed time by himself to deal with everything that happened in the past few hours.

But he did answer Jamie's endless questions, cordially laughing or nodding where and when appropriate. Soon enough they were pulling up at the beach house. Looking at him she got the feeling that he'd rather she wasn't here at all and honestly, she didn't want to be here either. She could see the battle he was clearly losing with his emotions written all over his face, and she knew he didn't want her witnessing that.

She'd only ever got in the car because Jamie had implored her to, and you couldn't say no to that kid, not if he didn't want you to anyway.

'Right then, I'll see you guys later.' She stood back when they got out of the car.

'No! You said that you'll stay for lunch!' Jamie reminded her firmly.

Technically she hadn't said that, she had said that she would come with them and she had; now it was time to go. But the look on his little face told her that he wasn't interested in technicalities right now so she opted for a loop hole.

'Yeah I know buddy but it's not lunch time yet and I have a couple of errands to run till then.'

'Yeah? Like what?' he raised his eyebrow waiting for her to reply.

She opened her mouth and closed it again and for the life of her she couldn't come up with anything.

'Yeah, thought so.' He accused, his shoulders drooping with disappointment and disapproval and she felt like a heel for it. She also felt like a kid at the principal's office.

'I never get to see you guys anymore.' He stated crest fallen. _Great!_ A pang of guilt stabbed her and she saw the same feelings reflected in his father's eyes. What were they doing to this poor child, all of them? They had all had problems with their parents, all of them, her, Brooke, and especially Nate and Luke. Yet here they were, neglecting the one person who mattered to them the most, the one person they were supposed to smother with love so that he never ever had to feel like any of them did when they were younger. He should never ever have to question the love his 'family' had for him.

'Jamie...' she started sadly reaching for him. But he stepped back, out of her reach, averting his face from their eyes trying to hide the tears that he was clearly fighting, silently telling that it was cool, he didn't have to stay. That broke her heart even more.

'come on sawyer, you better come in.' Nathan gestured towards the house. As if she had a choice now (!)

She had only ever wanted to give them space to spend time together. She could see how much he missed his son. And she knew him well enough to know that the meeting with Haley had taken a lot out of him, that he was barely hanging on by a thread right now, and any second he might snap, but never in front of his boy.

'you sure?'

'Yah, Skillz is here anyway.'

And he had already roped Jamie into a game of play station.

'hey.' They both looked up when she and Nathan walked in.

'hey sawyer!' Skillz beamed at her. 'Good to see you.' His eyes widened. 'Well whatever is left of you anyways. Hasn't Brooke been feeding you?' he was looking her over, his gaze going from head to toe. Peyton shifted uncomfortable. She folded her arms across her chest self conscious, fighting the urge to squirm under the scrutiny.

'I have always been skinny Skillz, you know that.' She declared defensively. She felt like he was attacking her and she didn't like it.

'Skill...' Nathan warned but his friend wasn't interested in listening to him, he was on a roll. Anger flashed through his eyes, before it turned into confusion, worry then was replaced by concern. Peyton looked away. She couldn't help the shame that crept up in her stomach. Curling up and making itself at home.

'you was skinny before Sawyer, but now, now you just wasting away. Like damn gal, I know things been bad and all, but you gotta take care of yourself. Otherwise even Luke won't matter if your skinny ass be dead.

She felt her hackles going up. What'd he know about it? Things hadn't been bad, they had been downright terrible, and she would go as far as to say they had been unbearable. Her life had basically fallen apart. And she didn't know how or if she even wanted to pick herself up again. So he had no right to stand there all judgemental telling her all that.

When you are busy mourning the loss of the meaning of your life things like food are the last thing on your mind. Lucas Scott would always matter even when she was taking her last breath.

'Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine!' she bristled furiously, her eyes hard as she bit back all the things that she wanted to say, to yell at him. She spun around and stormed off ignoring him as he called out her name.

'well done mate.' Nathan admonished Skillz as he cursed softly under his breath.

'I didn't mean it the way it sounded.' He muttered guiltily.

'so you didn't mean that she was basically starving herself to death?' Skillz hung his head in shame. 'after everything she has been through man, how can you give her a hard time like that?' the disappointment in his friend's voice was hard to miss which made Skillz feel even worse. He really hadn't meant to hurt her.

'I'm just worried about her.' he tried to explain.

'yeah? Who isn't? But you can't just go around just talking without thinking. You might just tip her over the edge. She's been doing great lately.

Well wasn't that just dandy. He had just added his name on a long list of people that were screwing her over recently.

Nathan sighed, he needed this like a hole in the head, what with Haley going 'crazy ex wife' on his ass.

He got up to follow Peyton but Jamie stopped him.

'I'll go.'

Nathan was unsure and confused as he looked at his boy who was still very much too young to be dealing with all this crap, yet he was still very proud. His little boy was growing up, fast, and that was scariest thought he had had all day, well almost. The scariest had been the thought that he wouldn't get to see his son ever again, his mind refused to even comprehend that.

'Please dad.' Jamie pleaded, and Nathan caved. He had no idea whether it was a good idea or not but felt like it was definitely something he should do.

It still looked the same, beautiful as it had been the first time she had actually looked at it. Well that could have had more to do with boy associated with the place than the place itself. But she had grown to love to love it almost as much as he had. She understood why it brought him peace. But for her it had more to do with the water than the court itself. There was just something so serene and tranquil about it.

She could still clearly see all the drawings on it, most of which had been done by her own hand. They all represented a memory or the other, but the one that caught her eye was the one they had all done on the last day of senior year. That was back when everything had seemed so simple, when her life had been filled with hopes and promise.

'Seems like it was forever ago doesn't it?'

She'd totally forgotten that he was here. He was starring ahead at the mural she'd done of him and Haley, the one that said 'Naley – always and forever'. She saw her pain and sadness, her own turmoil reflected in his eyes.

'Yeah I know.' She said turning away from him.

'Things have changed, a lot, for both of us.'

'You and Haley will be okay Nate. You'll work things out. It didn't even ring true to her own ears. It seemed like a long time ago when she believed in happily ever after.

He scoffed. 'Even you don't believe that.'

She didn't say anything coz what he said was the truth, so what could she really say.

'Besides we have both gone way too far to come back. There is way too much water under that bridge.' His lips twitched in some semblance of a weird sad smile.

An image of their limbs writhing and twisting ad moaning on the bed flashed through her mind. Guilt speared through her rendering her breathless. Her stomach burned and churned with bile making her want to throw up.

She cast a sideways glance at him. He was still starring absently at the mural. Another image flashed through her mind. This time she was tearing his shirt off his body, his buttons flying off on to the floor. Her breathe whooshed out of her as an imaginary fist slammed into her. She had to hold on to the bench for support. Oh dear lord what had she done? This man was clearly and obviously still in love with his ex-wife. And if she ever found out there will be no going back, he will never ever have any chance whatsoever to repair the damage.

He sensed more than felt the shift in here mood. He looked up to find her starring at him. The distress in her eyes told him exactly what she was thinking.

'Peyton...' he started to reassure her but she was already shaking her head in horror, tears streaming down her guilt filled eyes.

'I was there too sawyer.' He said trying to squash the irritation that was bubbling up inside him right then. And he was also a little annoyed. Did the idea of sleeping with him really distress her that much?

'I know, but it made things ten times harder for you though didn't it?'

He cursed under his breath and pulled her to him.

'I'm so sorry Nate.' She sobbed quietly in dampening his shirt. He cursed again. A pissed off sawyer he could deal with but a crying one; he never knew how to deal with that one.

'It's not your fault sawyer. Things were already pear shaped between me and Haley long before you came to the picture. We were already divorced remember?' he reminded her ignoring the pain that speared through him as he finally said the words out loud.

'Yeah but there might have been a way back for you guys before. If she finds out about you and me, she will never forgive you.'

He didn't tell her that he didn't think that there was any hope for them anyway. But she was right though. Say by some crazy miracle she discovered about his little, for lack of a better word, 'tryst' with sawyer; it would put a nail in his coffin, so to speak. Not to mention what it would do to his relationship with his brother.

Nathan was surprised that Peyton wasn't more concerned about Lucas's reaction than Haley's.

'She won't find out from me.' She promised. This she could do for him, if nothing else.

Nathan nodded gratefully.

'Luke won't find out from me either.' A dark shadow passed over her eyes and her shoulders stiffened. She pulled away from him. It was funny that she hadn't even given him a single thought in all this.

'He won't care.' Nathan chuckled to himself. Of course he would, he would raise hell! He knew his brother that much.

'No of course he won't.' He said sarcastically.

Peyton knew him well enough to know he wouldn't care that she slept with someone, just that it was his brother.

What the hell had she been thinking? This would ruin so many lives, so many friendships, hurt so many people! All because of her, coz she had been too weak to handle her emotions.

'You should sort things out with Haley, whichever way, for Jamie's sake.' She said changing the subject suddenly remembering her conversation with Jamie earlier.

Nathan turned to her sharply. 'Did Jamie say something to you?'

Peyton shrugged non-commitally. Jamie had spoken to her in confidence. She wouldn't betray that. He missed his father, terribly; he missed spending time with him. And more than that, he missed his mom not being mad at his dad all the time. He may be incredibly young but that didn't make him stupid. He knew parents split up all the time and it broke Peyton's heart that he had such a jaded view of relationships at such a young age.

As much as he wanted his parents to get back together he also knew that it wasn't likely. Vanessa's parents had split up and they hadn't got back together. He just wanted his parents to stop fighting and stop being so angry all the time. He wanted his mom to start smiling again and for them just to be happy.

Which was another reason why she and Nathan should have never happened, that little boy's life would be turned upside down. And once again Haley would be furious. The fact that it would be someone who she'd once considered a friend and would be seeing all the time would just make it ten times worse.

It would be like the nanny Carrie saga all over again. But the fact that it was Peyton, who Haley positively despised with every fibre of her being at the moment would just drive her insane, and drive her to make Nathan's life a misery and in turn Jamie's. She couldn't have that.

She also couldn't have them look at her as they were looking at her with more contempt than they already were at the moment. Was that even possible?

It was funny how this place felt like an emotional minefield for her now, like a prison. She was miserable here; she couldn't even find one thing to smile about anymore. Even worse, she seemed to make everyone around her miserable. All she had to do was walk in a room and their smiles will die on their faces. And it was draining, exhausting. She was tired and she didn't think she could go on anymore.

She chuckled to herself abruptly shooting off the bench. Why hadn't she thought of it before? A lot of crap that had happened lately would have been avoided if she had used her brain.

'You know I love you right?' she said turning to Nathan who was staring at her strangely wondering why she had shot up like that.

'Yeah of course.' His eyebrows kinked curiously as he wondered where this was going.

'I gotta get out of here Nate.' For the first time in ages he could practically smell excitement oozing off her every pore. He had forgotten how good that look was on her.

He stood up with her confused, and then he understood exactly what she meant.

His heart turned to stone.

'No!' he clipped. She couldn't!

'Nate...'

'You can't just leave Tree Hill.'

'Why not? Come on Nate, what have I got left here?'

A flash of hurt flashed across his eyes and she almost missed it.

'Ermmm I don't know, maybe Brooke, Jamie, me?'

'You know that's not what I meant Nathan. Of course I have you guys, but you guys don't have me, I don't have me.'

For the second time that day Nathan found himself totally stumped. 'What the hell does that even mean?'

She looked away for a second fighting off her tears. When she looked at him again her eyes were an emotional whirlpool threatening to pull him in. He swallowed and looked away trying to compose himself for a second, unable to bear the weight of her emotions. How did she do it, all the time every time?

'It means I don't even recognise myself anymore Nate. Can you honestly say that you like the person that I have been lately? Coz I sure as hell don't. It's like I'm not even there anymore Nate.' She finished with an emotional whisper.

'But we understand Peyt...'

'Well good, coz I sure as hell don't. I'm sick and tired of feeling like this Nate. And I don't think I can take it anymore.'

Her eyes pleaded with him to understand. And he did, of cos he did. How could he not? But the selfish part of him refused to even comprehend what she was saying, refused to imagine a life without her.

'It will be okay.' They both knew that it was a promise that he couldn't keep.

'No it won't. Not as long as I'm here.' She said silently. There was a long pause as Nathan let what she said sink in.

'Everywhere I turn Nathan, its all pain and bad memories.'

'And good ones.' He reminded her.

She smiled.

'And good ones yes. But I'm struggling to remember them or dissociate them from the bad ones. Pretty soon I ain't gonna have none left.'

There was also the one thing that she wasn't mentioning, the main thing. She didn't want to see _them_ everyday looking all blissfully married with the white picket fence and two pint four rug rats that were supposed to be her; reminding her over and over that she wasn't good enough.

She couldn't watch him live what was supposed to be their lives together with somebody else. She would never have done that to him. And there was only so many knock backs a woman could take before she completely lost it.

'Where are you gonna go?'

'That's the beauty of it, I have absolutely no idea don't I don't care.' She giggled giddily. It was still strange to hear her laugh, but it sounded pretty darn good. And her smile was genuine! Talk about a rare jewel!

He still couldn't help but be worried about her.

'You will call me as soon as you get to where you are going?'

'Of course.'

'And keep in touch?'

'Try and stop me.'

So that's how she came to be standing at the Tree Hill airport, scouring for the outward flights on the notice board, trying to pick one. short of doing the inny minny mynny mo she had no idea how she was going to do it.

But she couldn't help the excitement and fear that was strumming through her like a guitar short of a string or two. There was something freeing about the thought of heading for the unknown.

**a.n: hope you like it. keep those reviews coming xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**A: N: - thank you once again to everyone who reviewed my story. I actually had fun writing that chapter. I was actually looking forward to Peyton's departure since the last two chapters. It's actually hard when u know where the story is going and you are trying to get there. Now it's perfect, coz I have no idea where it's going and I like it just like that. So take a ride with me and let's see where we are taking this baby.**

**Your reviews give me direction every time so please don't forget to review. As for all your questions, don't worry they will be answered soon.**

She still couldn't believe that her best friend was gone. Just like that. She couldn't help but feel betrayed. She hadn't even said goodbye, save for the crummy note that she had written at the back of the one she had left for her when she went to Milan. It simply said that she was sorry and that she had to go. She couldn't say here anymore, they both knew that. There was too many bad memories blah blah blah. She probably deserved it, after all hadn't she done the exact same thing to her? But that didn't mean that it hurt any less. And she was worried about her. When she had left things had been bad yeah, but she hadn't said anything about leaving. Or had she? Had she been so wrapped up in her new drama that she hadn't noticed what had been happening with her friend?

Urgh she didn't even want to think of her own drama that she had accumulated as of late. Just thinking about it made her want to rip herself apart with guilt and pain, so she refused to think about it, refused to even remember any of it. So she locked it, all in a 'lead box' and buried it in the deepest part of her brain.

Right now she wanted to know that her best friend was okay. She hadn't even called like she said she would. And she had absolutely no idea where the hell she was. She missed her, oh how she missed her. Sure Peyton had barely been there towards the end, but occasionally she would see glimpses of her friend, broken she may have been. She missed her silent brooding presence, the one that gave her purpose.

But she couldn't think about now. Right now she had Karen's dinner to attend to. She hadn't wanted to go, she had wanted to stay at home like she usually did lately, but this was Karen, the woman who had been a mother to all of them when their parents had either been dead or couldn't be bothered to be saddled with a child. She owed her more than anything because thanks to her she knew what it was like to have a real mom.

She supposed a part of her had known that eventually Peyton wouldn't stay, that she couldn't stay in Tree Hill anymore cos it would eventually kill her. But the reality of it all was just too hard to swallow. She missed her friend; she had been missing her long before she had physically left.

If you scratched underneath the surface of all the hurt and disappointment you'd find hot, boiling molten anger at herself for letting Peyton down. Unfair as it was, she was also mad at Peyton herself for lacking the strength to get through this, for running away, once again leaving her behind. She was always complaining about people leaving her, but more often than not, especially when it came to their relationship, she did the running.

But most of all, her anger was directed at Lucas Eugene Scott! He was a coward, too afraid of his own feelings...no surprises there. She was also mad at him for tearing her friend to pieces. The list of things that he had accomplished single handed was amazing. He was just lucky that she hadn't seen him since she got back or she would have castrated him! He was the single sole reason that she was without her best friend anymore and she would never forgive him for that.

She sighed heavily as she uncurled herself from the couch pouring another glass of wine. How pathetic was she, drinking all alone? Seriously? Owen was working again tonight so she was all alone. A wave of something that she clearly recognised these days rolled down her all the way to her toes. Loneliness. This house that used to bustling with activity even when Peyton was mopping around had turned into a ghost town – too quiet, too lonely and suddenly way too big for just one person. She'd only ever bought it for her and Peyton, for them to live together. But now that Peyton was gone, it was quiet enough for her to hear her own thoughts. She didn't want to listen to her thoughts, they were full of _him!_ And she didn't want to think about him, it hurt too much.

_Probably not as much as you hurt him._ A little voice said inside of her, the same little voice that had made itself at home in her head recently. It seemed to pop up at the most inconvenient of times, especially when it was about _him_. Thanks to a few glasses of wine.

All the cars were already parked on the driveway she pulled up indicating that she was late. Well what else was new? She clearly recognised Haley's car, Nathan's and Lucas' mustang. Her stomach tightened at that one, she didn't trust herself not to attack him when she saw him, she was too mad. But this wasn't about her. this was about Karen, who had wanted to get her whole 'family' under one roof for dinner, and this was something that she intended to turn into a weekly thing as she thought they were all drifting way too far apart for her own liking. Besides Peyton, bless her heart, had insisted that she didn't want what happened with them to affect his friendship with Brooke, they had worked way too much on it to just let it go. But how could she not? Peyton was her best friend, and she was gone. Where ever she was she was torn to pieces by the only person who had the ability to fix her.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when there was a little tap on her window.

'Are you gonna sit in there all day or do you plan on coming in at some point?' she hadn't even heard him approach. She felt her lips stretch in response though, producing a smile that she didn't even feel.

'Hey Nate.'

'How are you doing Davis?' he didn't even try to smile back, he knew she would see right through it just as much as he saw right through hers. 'That was a rhetorical question Brooke.' he cut her off when she opened her mouth to lie to him. He knew she wasn't okay. Her eyes had a certain resignation to them. There was something going on with her and he had a feeling that Peyton being gone was just the tip of the iceberg. And he also knew that not knowing where she was, if she was okay was killing her, hell it was killing. But he chose to believe that no news was good news, and that when and if Brooke wanted to talk to him, she knew where to find him.

'Heard from her?' he knew the answer, but a guy could hope couldn't he?

Brooke shook her head. He was the one person who knew that Peyton was gone and at that moment she felt like she could...identify with him. But she also couldn't help but be envious of him. At least he had got the chance to say goodbye to her. They hadn't told anybody that she had left. She hadn't seen any of them since she got back from Milan, save for Nathan who had dropped by to check on her as per Peyton's instructions. She'd also seen Karen but she hadn't had the heart to tell her, the older woman's kindness would have been her undoing.

'She'll be fine Brooke.' Nathan reassured her, probably mistaking her silence for her worry about Peyton. Yeah she was worried about her but she also got the feeling that as long as she wasn't in Tree Hill anymore, she at least has the chance to get back to normal.

He wasn't watching for her, of course he wasn't, but that that didn't mean that he didn't notice that she didn't come in with Brooke. He didn't miss the dirty look that Brooke shot him either as she came in closely followed by Nathan. No, the pang he felt at the pit of his stomach definitely wasn't disappointment.

But there was one thing that he was definitely sure about. Brooke was definitely pissed at him about something. Every attempt he had made to have a conversation with him was met with an icy response, if any at all. Even when they finally sat down for dinner and she ended up sitting right next to him, she refused to acknowledge him. She even smiled at Lindsey! It was colder than the North Pole around them right now.

And what the hell was with the looks between her and Nathan? Finally he couldn't take it anymore. Turning to her he asked her if he'd done anything wrong in a quiet whisper. He immediately wished he hadn't though when she turned to him and gave him a withering glare that was so full of hate and anger it sent icy shivers down his spine. What the hell had he ever done to her?

He glanced across the table at Nathan who was also glaring at him.

'Are you really that dense Lucas?' Brooke whispered scathingly at him, banging her folk on her plate, drawing everyone's gaze to them.

'Brooke...' Nathan warned her and she turned to glare at him before she took a deep breath to calm down. When she turned to him again he didn't miss the tears that were pooling in her eyes. What the hell had he done that was so bad?

She quickly excused herself and rushed from the table leaving everybody staring after her and then shooting glares at him. Well he couldn't help them there, he had no idea what the hell just happened.

His mother and Deb got up to follow her but Nathan beat them to it with a simple 'I'll go.'

He on the other hand was too busy trying to figure out what the hell he had done to piss of one of his oldest friends so bad that he missed the fury and pain?, that took over his best friend's features right next to him.

**A.N: sorry it's kind of short, but I have exams at the moment, but that being said I have the next chapter already written out so should be out by either tomorrow or the day after the latest xoxo. Don't forget to hit that button at the bottom, would love to hear your thoughts**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**A.N. I was greatly disappointed by the lack of reviews on my last chapter. I don't know whether it's because that chapter was crappy, or people have lost interest in my story. Whatever the reason, I'd love to know so that I can at least try to fix it if I can. But a huge thanks to Suze18 and Brase FTW who reviewed. This one is for you guys x**

He found her sitting on the swing sets at the back garden, the same swing sets where he had seen Peyton with Lucas the day he joined the Ravens. That was the day that he had seen his girlfriend falling for his brother, the same brother who was responsible for her destruction. He had to wonder if she would have been better off staying with him. But he didn't want to go down that road; coz then he wouldn't have Jamie. Besides the way they were back then, they probably would have destroyed each other.

Right now though her best friend was sat facing away from him, and he would have given anything right now for her to be here, she always could deal with these situations better than anyone. He hesitated slightly before approaching Brooke. He didn't need to see the tears streaming down her cheeks to know that she was crying. The shaking of her shoulders confirmed that. He stood in front of her for a while, unsure of what to say. He had never been comfortable with crying women, and right now, he was way out of his depth.

Finally he crouched down in front of her so that he was eye level with her. She slowly raised her eyes to meet his.

'You okay?' she shook her head, more tears streaming unabashedly down her cheers.

'How can he just sit there and pretend that everything is okay? It's not okay! It's like she doesn't even exist!' her hands were trembling he suspected with fury.

'Its okay Brooke.' he tried pulling her to his arms but she just shook him off. He didn't let that hurt him though; it wasn't him she was mad at.

'He didn't even notice that she isn't here!'

'I'm sure he did.' She scoffed at that.

'Even if he did, what could he do about it? His wife is right there next to him.' He had no idea why he was coming to his brother's defence.

'She is not some floozy that he had an affair with that he is not allowed to talk about. She was the woman he loved!' she got up from the swing nearly to stand a few meters away her whole frame rigid.

'Yeah, loved. Past tense Brooke. He is allowed to move on. She is the one who said no to him.'

'She didn't...' she started vehemently but seemed to catch herself. 'Why the hell are you taking his side?' she spun to him, shooting him daggers. He put up his hands in mock surrender. She sighed sitting down again

'I'm sorry Nate; it's just that this whole bloody situation, I hate it!'

So did he. He loved Peyton, but she had hurt his brother. He loved his brother but he had torn his best friend to pieces. He hated that the rest of them were stuck in the middle of this 'war'.

'Come on Davis.' He wiped the last of her tears with the pad of his thumb. She offered him a crooked watery smile and his heart lifted, just a little. He hated seeing her upset.

'Better?'

'Yeah.' He pulled her for a hug none the less and this time she went to his arms willingly, glad for the support.

And that's how Haley found them a few minutes later. She didn't even know why she had come outside after them. To prove herself right she supposed, that it wasn't all in her head, that she hadn't imagined the sneaky, flirty looks that they kept throwing each other. But right now seeing them wrapped around each other like this, she wished she hadn't. As long as she didn't see them she could always believe that she was imagining it.

But there was no denying it anymore, not right now. She should have known that it wouldn't take him long to move on, he had stopped pestering her about patching things up so she had known that something was up. She just hadn't imagined that it would be with one of their closest friends!

She cleared her throat and they both jumped apart. They didn't even have the decency to look guilty!

'Hey Hales.' Brooke rasped shakily.

'Am I interrupting something?' she ignored Brooke and glared straight at Nathan, who looked up at her confusion clouding his features.

She groaned inwardly immediately wishing that she could take the words back. How clichéd could she get? She sounded like the bitter ex-wife. And she, Haley James Scott, well she was just James now wasn't she? Well whatever the case she was not bitter, pissed off maybe, but never bitter! And judging from the look on Nathan's face, it had definitely been the wrong thing to say.

'Is everything okay?' this time, as hard as it was, she did manage to cast Brooke a glance, although it was a very dismissive one.

'Yeah.' It was Brooke who replied wiping her tears. Any other day she would have noticed the glistening moisture on her friend's cheeks, any other day she would have cared. But right now, right now she was possessed by an unspeakable rage that was beginning to slowly consume her

Looking between the two formerly married couple, Brooke could feel a war brewing, and she didn't want to be here when it erupted, she had enough problems of her own.

'I'll leave you guys to it.' she turned to kiss Nathan on the cheek but though better of it.

Haley scoffed. 'Please, don't let me stop you.' she spat at her. This time she did groan out loud. What the hell was the matter with her today? She couldn't seem to put a lid on it, and her dignity was slipping with every second that she was standing here!

Brooke just looked at her, her eyes filled with confusion and pity. Haley could feel her blood boiling at the last one. She did not need her pity!

'Thanks Nate.' Brooke obviously chose to ignore Haley's temper tantrum. 'See you inside.' With that she climbed the stairs and disappeared inside.

Haley climbed down the few stairs that were separating hr and her ex-husband. Would she ever get used to calling him that? She ignored the little voice inside her that told her to turn around now and go back coz this would not end well for her.

'What the hell is wrong with you?' she knew him well enough to know that he was struggling really hard to rein in his emotions. Well too bad, so was she!

'Me? What the hell is wrong with you?' she fired at him. His brows creased in confusion.

'What are you talking about?'

She folded her arms across her chest indignantly. 'You and Brooke look awfully cosy.'

Any hopes of having anything confirmed were immediately shot down when his features abruptly shut down, his face turning into a stone carving.

'You've officially lost it Haley. He sidestepped her and went up the stairs to the house and suddenly she saw red!

'Well you're not denying it are you?' that stopped him dead in his tracks, his shoulders rigid. He slowly turned around to face her.

'The point in that would be...?'

'One of our friends Nathan? You are pathetic!'

His face transformed instantly and the emotion there was unmistakable. It was pure hot undulated fury! She had pushed him too far! He took a tentative step towards her and for a moment she stood there terrified, not sure what he would do. She could feel his anger radiating towards her, wanting to engulf her. She stumbled back from the force of it all.

'Don't you dare!' he said so quietly that she barely heard him.

He stopped in front of her eyeing her as if he was seeing her for the first time and he didn't like what he was seeing.

'You are the one who threw away our marriage remember? You made it more than perfectly clear that we had no place in each other's lives! That automatically removes any right you have to inquire about my private life!

And not that it's any of your business, whatsoever but there is nothing going on with Brooke and me.' He took a step back and once again, he had that look again on his face, like he couldn't recognise her.

'What the hell's happened to you?' he looked at her with so much disgust, confusion and pity that she had the strongest urge to either cry or punch him. He backed away from her, obviously not wanting to be anyway near her and she knew that instant which she was going to end up doing.

'Sort your shit out Haley, whatever this is,' he was saying motioning the space between them with his index finger, 'right now, coz I'm telling you, if you keep going down this route you on right now, you and I are going to have a big problem.' He didn't even wait to hear what she had to say. He just turned around and left. As he shut the door, her legs buckled underneath her as angry tears scotched down her cheeks. She wondered how she ended up being the bad guy when he was the one sneaking around with Brooke Penelope Davis!

'We were about to send out a search party for you.' Karen joked as she walked back in.

'I was just getting some fresh air.' She smiled brightly back at her. Karen studied her for a second before she turned back to her coffee. Haley looked away. That was the thing about Karen; she could read her like a book so she would know instantly that something was wrong.

Nathan had now taken her seat and was seating right next to Brooke. Let them try and tell her that there was nothing going on. How stupid did they think that she was?

'Well now that everybody is here we can get started on the desert.' She disappeared into to kitchen swiftly and came back pushing a trolley filled with decadent desserts.

'Mhmm.' the girls moaned together synchronously with pleasure, before collapsing into a fit of giggles, the first comic relief of the night.

'This is going to send my diet straight to hell.' Lindsey moaned closing her lips around the spoon filled with chocolate cake smothered in smooth creamy fudge sauce coupled with vanilla ice cream. 'But somehow I don't care.' This time she purred as the intoxicating flavours melted in her mouth. She looked up to find her husband looking at her with a raised eyebrow, a knowing and mischievous smirk dancing on his lips. She winked at him excitement coursing through her veins. Well wasn't this going to be an exciting night?

'The word diet has no place in this family.' Karen was saying, teasing her daughter in law, drawing her attention away from her suddenly too attractive husband.

'Yeah, didn't you know? Its Karen's sole mission in life to fatten us all up so that we will never leave her.' Brooke piped in, a hint of a smile gracing her lips for the first time that night. The three women laughed as if they were all in on this little secret that no one else knew.

Lucas looked around proudly, at all the women in his life, Laughing and joking together. All the people that he cared about were all sat around in this table and he couldn't be happier, for once, everything in his life felt like it was okay. Given he still had to make things up with Brooke, and figure out what was wrong with Haley, but everything felt good, like it was going to work out just fine.

'Let's make a toast.' He said raising his glass.

'To friends and family. I happen to be the luckiest guy in the world to have the best of both and be married to the most wonderful woman in the world.' He smiled at his wife who was beaming up at him and kissed her chastely on the lips.

'Friends and family.' The whole table echoed raising their glasses.

'It's too bad that Peyton couldn't be here.' His mother said and with those few little words everything inside him seemed to freeze. He had been wondering how long it would take for somebody to mention her obvious absence. He shrugged nonchalantly when his wife looked at him questioningly. He refused to let that little feeling that was niggling at the pit of her stomach at the mention of her name surface.

If she was honest with herself, Karen hadn't really expected Peyton to come to any of their gatherings anymore. It would be too difficult for her, but it also would have been good to see the girl that despite everything, she still very much considered her as her daughter.

'How is she?' she asked Brooke who didn't say anything for a long time that for a second Karen thought that maybe she hadn't heard her. She also didn't miss the glances that she and Nathan were throwing each other. A nagging feeling started at the pit of her stomach. She had a bad feeling about this.

'Brooke?'

'She's fine.' It was Nathan who answered as Brooke seemed to have suddenly lost the use of her tongue.

'We think.' She muttered under her breath stabbing her desert furiously, but it was loud enough for Karen to catch it. That nagging feeling at the pit of her stomach erupted into full fledged panic.

'What do you mean you think?' the conversation lulled around them as everybody's attention was drawn to them once again. She on the other hand was already dreading the younger woman's answer.

Brooke was facing her own struggle within, a molten anger bubbling within her. Did they all just notice that Peyton wasn't here? She had half a mind not to tell them anything at all leaving them stewing in their own curiosity. That would serve them right!

'Brooke?'

'She left.' She said simply, not once taking her eyes off her plate. Nathan took her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. She had forgotten he was there, but she was extremely grateful for his support none the less.

'What do you mean she left?' This time the question came from Skillz who was looking at her as if he expected her to burst into laughter declaring the whole thing some sort of a hideous joke.

'She is coming back right?' Karen knew the answer before Brooke even answered with a single shake of her head.

Brooke didn't want to answer their questions, she had questions herself dammit!

But they didn't seem to catch on to her mood as a round of questions was fired at her from all directions. She just sat there, not moving. She didn't have any answers for them, and it was killing her that she didn't know. She didn't need the reminder of what a failure she was as a friend, which is why she really didn't want to talk about this anymore.

At the end it was Nathan who answered trying to reassure everyone that he was sure Peyton was alright. She would have called if she wasn't okay.

Brooke just tuned out somewhere along the conversation. Why were they all so shocked, had they seriously expected her to stick around here for good, where there was nothing for her but heartbreak? And why did they all suddenly care? They hadn't cared before; they hadn't come to see her, picking Lucas and his new wife over her. She probably wasn't being fair but she didn't care, right now she was really upset so she didn't have to be fair.

She was forced back into the conversation when she saw everybody starring at her.

'What?' it came out harsher than she intended but once again she couldn't master the will to care.

'I was just saying that we could ask Chase, they seem to be close.' Millie said timidly.

She froze all those emotions that she had worked so hard to keep a tight rein on threatening to burst free. She took a few discreet deep breaths before answering.

'Uhmm he actually went back to New York. I left a couple of messages with him but he hasn't got back to me yet.' She was amazed and proud of the lack of emotion in her voice. She didn't add the fact that if they were relying on him for any news on Peyton then they'd be waiting a long time. As soon as he saw that the messages were from her he would probably just press delete without listening.

**A.N: well there goes another chapter, hope you liked it. i wanted to show everybody's reaction to Peyton leaving and also how Haley was struggling with the divorce even though it was her choice. She had lost everything she once thought she would always have so when it comes to Nathan she stopped thinking clearly a long time ago.**

**Next chapter looks at how Lucas deals with the whole thing. Please review xxx**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**A.N: Well here is the next one. Next chapter will be picking back from chase and Peyton. Hope you like it**

He didn't say anything, When they all sat there talking about _her_ he didn't say anything. He didn't even move a muscle, he couldn't! With those three little words Brooke had frozen every fibre of his being in one place. 'She left.' Those words echoed through his entire being like a ghost, sending an icy shiver across his entire being – fear? No, it couldn't possibly be. What would he be afraid of?

He had everything he wanted right here with him, everybody that he cared about was surrounding him. _Except for her..._her and her golden wheat locks, her moss green eyes and her chicken legs. Even that stupid smile of hers that he kept seeing in his mind even though he hadn't seen it grace her lips in forever. Her who no matter what always returned to monopolise his mind over and over again, even when he didn't want her to, just like she was doing now. And she hadn't even had the grace to say goodbye!

He tried to open his mouth to say something, to excuse himself, but his throat wouldn't work past the molten lava lump that had logged itself in there. So in the end he just stood up and tried to balance on his shaky legs.

'Luke?' Lindsey grabbed his hand her face etched with worry.

'I'm just going to the bathroom Linds.' He couldn't even summon up the energy to flash her a fake smile to reassure her. He just wanted to get out of there, from everybody's prodding and knowing glances. They were suffocating him. What he wanted to do was get the hell out of here, go outside and get some fresh her, scream out the emotions churning up inside him.

But he didn't want to see that look on his wife's face, the one that haunted her whenever his ex was mentioned. He also didn't want to argue about it either coz if he went outside she'd want to talk about how he was feeling which would undoubtedly lead to another fight. Not only did he not want to discuss how he was feeling right now, they'd also had too many arguments in their marriage concerning that woman and he wasn't having any of it. So he kissed her lightly on the forehead and felt her instantly relax.

She was worried, of course she was, she couldn't help it. Oh he said all the right things, smiled when appropriate and was even somewhat attentive. But she knew him. He might think that she didn't know him that well, but she did. Maybe not as well as his ex, but she knew him in her own right. She wouldn't have married him otherwise. She had seen his spark dim when he found out that Peyton had left. Right now he was hurting, really bad, but he was also hiding it. She suspected it was more for her sake and because he felt like he had no right to be hurt by it, and she was grateful. She didn't think she could have taken it if he had instantly flipped out.

She was also selfishly grateful that Peyton was gone. She felt more secure in her relationship now that she wasn't there to haunt it. Luke had married her yes, he had chosen her. But she would be lying if she said that she didn't live in constant fear that he would wake up one day and realise that it was he wasn't over his ex and he loved her more than he did his wife. Given, if he really did feel like that the distance wouldn't do much difference, she still hoped for an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of situation. And she was also glad that now she wouldn't have to be reminded daily that they were never going to be as epic as Leyton once were. They had their own combined name for goodness sake!

The reasonable side of her told her that it wasn't as easy to get over someone who once meant the whole world to you. They had a history, so much history between them. They had been through hell and high water, heck he had even written a book about their love, so it was normal for Lucas to be upset. At the end of the day he had chosen her, married her. But she could help wonder if she would ever get up from underneath Peyton's shadow.

'Its okay to be upset that she's gone Luke.' She told him that night as they were getting ready for bed. He jerked to her and looked at her as if she'd grown an extra head. Maybe she had, she wasn't sure.

'What?'

'It's okay. She was a part of your life for a long time, and she is your friend. It's okay to miss her. I understand.' He looked at her, confusion clouding over his features, pain occasionally seeping through but he was so quick to mask it, that she wasn't sure it had ever been there at all. His mouth moved for a second, but nothing came out. He wasn't sure what to say.

'Linds, I don't...I don't wanna talk about this.' He finally said facing away from her. Pain gripped her rendering her still. He was shutting her out.

'I'm not asking you to. I'm just saying that do whatever you need to do. Just know that I love you and I'm here if you need me.' She said softly.

A strangled growl escaped his throat and he shot out of bed. He paused for a second never once looking at her saying that he couldn't do this right now. And just like that he was out the door into the night.

'Well so much for being the understanding wife.' She slumped onto the bed clutching a pillow to her as hot tears scotched their way down her cheeks.

He headed to the one place that he knew he could think clearly with no interruptions. He had been doing so well, holding it together, with the new determination never to bring it up. Then his wife had gone and confused his already muddled brain. What the hell had that been? He had expected her to blow a gasket, tears even, but she had flipped things on him saying that he was allowed to miss _her._ He didn't want to miss _her_! He didn't even want to think of her, he would be fine with pretending that she didn't exist. She was gone and that was fine with him, now he didn't have to worry about her anymore.

'_Who the hell are you tryna kid?'_ a little voice inside of him chided.

Okay so maybe he was a little mad.

'_A little?'_

Alright so maybe he was mad, a lot. After all they had been through she hadn't even had the decency to tell him she was leaving. He had every right to be mad.

'_Are you for real?'_

Okay so things hadn't been that great between them lately.

'_Try again.'_ He groaned in frustration kicking the bench and moaned in satisfaction as pain shot up his leg. He was really getting tired of that little voice in his head though; he just wanted it to shut up. Things were confusing enough.

Things had been downright unbearable between him and Peyton lately. They were at a point he never thought they'd ever get. They were strangers. It was awful and he knew that was his fault as much as it was hers. They hadn't talked in what...months?

Funny thing was he was surprised she hadn't left earlier coz let's face it; he hadn't made it easier for her to live here had he? It didn't mean that her departure hurt any less.

Hurt? Is that what he felt? Yep he'd bet money that the shearing shock that he felt all over, the feeling like his heart had been ripped out and shattered with a sledge hammer, turning his knees into jelly; that was definitely pain.

It actually hurt him more than he thought it would, more than it was supposed to.

He collapsed, his knees hitting the asphalt hard as he was suddenly faced with the prospect of never seeing her face again. He didn't want them to leave things the way they were. He had taken for granted the fact that she would always be a few streets down from him, that they would make up eventually and he would apologise for everything, when he was ready so that they could move on. He hoped that they could become friends even, although he was aware that it was a bit of a stretch, but he had hoped that they'd get to be civil at least, be able to hang around together without being awkward or tense.

The idea of her not being in his life...it was unbearable, it was unimaginable. Those two years they had been apart had been pure hell, but at least he had known that they were going to see each at some point, and he hoped that things would work out. Only they hadn't worked out the way that he thought they would.

But now everything seemed so final! Like there was no way back and he didn't know how to fix it.

Their lives were not supposed to turn out like this. Now he was married, to somebody else who wasn't her, and she was who knew where.

He didn't know how he missed it. It was so big that it should have been the first thing that he saw when he got there. But he had been so caught up in his own emotions that he hadn't even looked at his surroundings.

It was beautiful, so typically her that he choked up with emotion. Tears streamed down his cheeks abashedly and he didn't even try to stop them. He ran his lithe fingers over her carefully chosen words, beautifully written in her artistic scrawl. They were there for the whole world to see, for him to see, her last love letter to him. And she wasn't even hiding her feelings for him; she had laid them bare for the whole world to see. There were no pretences, just raw, bare undulated emotion that shouldn't have caught him unaware but it did.

And just like that, it finally sank home, shattering his heart into tiny unrecognisable pieces. He knew exactly what this meant. She had said goodbye, forever, the only way she knew how. He only wished that he could do the same, only he was just realising that she had just taken a huge chunk of his heart with him.

**A.N: Sorry this chapter is short. I just really wanted it to be just about Lucas. And I know people usually have Lindsey as this evil home wrecker who came in-between Luke and Peyton. I initially intended her to be like that as well but then I realised that she didn't really do anything wrong. She fell in love. It's just that the man she fell in love with was in love with another, only he was too much of a coward to admit it. At the end he ended up breaking too many people's hearts. Don't really like her but she is okay. Another update coming up soon. Please review xxx**


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N: So it's been a year since I updated – I know, I am a very bad person. I could probably go to a thousand reasons why I abandoned the story, all of them which are legitimate I will tell you, but at the end of the day all I can do is apologise.**

**To be honest it's kind of hard to be inspired when you no longer feel like you are pleasing your readers and that's the honest truth. There is one reviewer however who has totally brought back my inspiration, I read their review and now more than ever am determined to finish the story.**

**So here is to hoping that I can still keep you guys interested**

There was a reason that he loved big cities, they had this ability to swallow, make you forget who you were, even if was just for a millisecond. Sometimes that was enough, and at times, times like these for an instance, it barely scratched a surface. Maybe it had to do with the endlessly tall buildings, the ever flashing lights or maybe it was the people, who were to always busy to even stop and say hello to their neighbours. He wasn't sure, all he knew was that the city offered him the sanctuary he so desperately needed right now. That's why he had opted to come here instead of going to either one of his parents' in Alabama. Well that and the fact that his mother would have driven him absolutely mental.

He was beginning to regret coming here though. It wasn't that he didn't love them, he did. He and is brother were closer than anything, and he adored his sister in-law to boot. She was cute and above all, she worshipped the ground his brother walked on. They were perfect for each other.

But if she tried one more time to set him up with one of her friends from work so that he 'got over who ever she was that had him moping around her house' (her words not his); he would scream! Oh she had been subtle about it at first, so subtle at first that he hadn't caught on till the third lady. Or maybe he had been too wrapped up in his own grief that he hadn't paid much attention to anything else around him. Either way, by the time he wised up to her she was well on her way, there was no stopping her, not without upsetting her at least. And upsetting his heavily pregnant sister in-law was the last thing he wanted to do; Seb would have his hide, amongst his other unmentionables. It was just too soon and he didn't really want to get over her, not yet anyway. He just couldn't tell them without going into the whole sordid mess that was now his life.

So instead of facing her quivering lip and those watery glassy eyes of hers he opted to be out of the house most time. It wasn't an easy feat since he didn't know anybody in New York, but he used that time to explore, that's how he found the little café that had the best coffee and pumpkin pie, the little jazz club that he came to find out was just a place for people looking to fit in, just like him. He found plenty other places and pretty soon he knew the city like the back of his hand. That kind of thing would tend to happen if you had a lot of time on your hands. So it was either, explore and occupy his time as much as he possibly could, or sit at home and brood, and think about _her_, allow Claire to parade different women in front of him, as he sat there comparing all of them to _her_, pointing out in his head the number of ways that they weren't _her_. He couldn't do that, cos he didn't think that his heart could take anymore. He was barely hanging on as it was.

It was on one of those days, when he somehow got wind of the fact that there was going to four for dinner instead of three that he made his escape. It was on that day that he bumped into her, literally, sending everything she was carrying scuttling all over the ground, her hot coffee cascading down his brand new white t-shirt. There was a scurry of movement and speech, her a thousand apologies, already rooting through her very full handbag to mop up the stain on his t-shirt; him with a million swear words that would have made a sailor blush and his mother wash out his mouth with a whole bar of soap, all the while trying to hold the offending material from doing more damage from what he was pretty sure was scotched skin. That was until their eyes met, fierce green clashing with light brown. Right then, time seemed to slow down, everything around them seemed to freeze. And then just like that she had shoved a handful of tissues in his hands, muttering a barely audible apology. She picked up all her stuff and was gone before he had a chance to recover let alone utter her name. He would have thought that he imagined it, that it was all in his head if it wasn't for the tornado of blonde curls he saw disappearing through the crowd.

He shook himself lightly wondering what the hell had just happened. The way his heart was beating wildly nearly out of his chest was shock enough that he wasn't nearly over the shock of seeing anyone from Tree hill, let alone her. The look on her face which he was pretty sure was now embedded on his conscience for a long time made it pretty clear that he was the last person she had been expecting to see.

He could have gone after her, he probably would have caught up with her easy, but the few seconds that his brain managed to function, he convinced himself that it was all for the best, he didn't need to be dealing with those ghosts, not just yet, if ever. And from her reaction she obviously felt the same.

An hour later as he mulled over a fresh of coffee one that wasn't anywhere near his body this time, he had to concede that his logic that as long as he didn't see anyone from Tree hill then he as safe from thinking about her was pretty naïve. As it was right now she was all he could think about. Sometimes all it would take was someone who looked like her, sounded like her, heck even someone with the same hair colour as hers was enough to set him off. So it would stand to reason that right now his mind was a conundrum of memories and what nots, all of them concerning her. He wondered what she was doing right at that moment, if was she missing him. Was she as miserable as he was?

As soon as that thought entered his had he dismissed it, ofcorse she wasn't, she didn't love him, she was in love with his best friend, he conceded bitterly. He was the idiot that had fallen in love with her all over again, and then proceeded to betray his best friend in the worst possible way. He supposed at the end of the day the anger that he had directed at her was unfair, he had no one to blame but himself, no one to be angry at but himself. He could brood all he wanted, blame everything on her and hate her sometimes, but the truth of the matter was that he loved her, plain and simple. She simply didn't love him, and had made her choice, that didn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell. That's why he had to get out of there. As much as he loved Owen he didn't think he would be strong enough to stand by and watch him play happy families with the girl of his dreams. So it may have been cowardly, but he high tailed it out there the first chance he got.

The second time he saw her wasn't but a few days later. She didn't see him, but he saw her, clear as day in her brown leather jacket skinny jeans and some heels. He watched her at first not trusting his sight as she talked animatedly with another girl as they entered a massive building – Arista Records it said. But the hand gestures, the way she kept flipping her hair back was all her. He had been around her long enough to pick up on some of her habits, even when she was close to comatose.

He just stood there for a while not exactly sure what his next step should be. Then before he could think about it he was moving forward, following her inside the building. He wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do once he got inside, but one thing was for sure, he wasn't going to just let her get away just like the last time.

He wasn't a big believer of fate, but this was one coincidences too many, New York was just too big city for those kind of chances. Obviously someone out there kept putting them both on the same track, and who was he to ignore the signs.

He flashed a smile at the receptionist, one that usually got him his way with the ladies and gave her name. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for but he had come this far, what was a few more steps?

The receptionist eyed him, before she smiled at him typing a few keys on her computer before she told him exactly where to find her, fourteenth floor. He smiled back at her before he thanked her kindly and turning back the way he came. If she found it weird she didn't say anything to him as he passed her desk about ten minutes later with two cups of coffee in his hand as he headed for the elevator.

Finding her wasn't that hard, he asked a guy just outside the elevator who told him exactly where to find her.

She was busy riffling through her desk, a pencil wedged between her teeth, obviously looking for something that she didn't hear him approach, not until he sat down, the chair making a sound as it scrapped against the hardwood floors.

"Sorry I will be with you in just a second." She huffed in frustration obviously not able to find what she was looking for. Then she saw him. She jumped so high that she sent most of the contents on her desk flying all over. He barely managed to grab the bottle of water that came hurtling towards him. Thankfully it was closed.

"Chase!" she gasped out, her eyes wide, face pale as if she had just seen a ghost. Maybe she had.

"You know if you keep reacting this way I will start to think that you don't want to see me." He grinned at her, trying to ease her obvious discomfort. It didn't work; her stance stayed the same, as stiff as ever.

"I…" she took a deep breath, obviously trying to collect herself.

"I brought you coffee," he handed her the cup which she took tentatively with a shaking hand. "Although maybe I should consider standing a few feet away in case you decide to douse me with it again." He smirked mischievously .she eyed him warily, but he didn't miss the slight narrowing of her eyes. She obviously didn't appreciate his humour.

"It was an accident." She finally managed to find her voice.

"Yeah I thought so too, but you left so suddenly before we could establish that part." A guilty look passed over her face as she bent her head looking everywhere but him. She busied herself picking up her things and rearranging them on the desk. She sighed heavily finally mastering enough courage to look at him. "What are you doing here?"

And that was a very good question. He could have just left, kept walking, and never looked back, till the next time he supposed, but his curiosity had won out at the end. That and the need to make sure she was okay at least. Then there was the guilt. He had just run out on her and left her high and dry, and he hadn't even said goodbye. He had thought of her occasionally over the past two months, wondering if she was okay, if she had finally drunk herself into a stupor yet. And every time he though of her, that gnawing guilt had just about damaged his gut.

Looking at her now, she looked better than the last time he had seen her. But then agaon that wasn't much comparison was it? The last time he had seen her, she had looked like death warmed up, and that was putting it lightly. She was still skinny as heck, but at least now she didn't look like the smallest whiff of wind would blow her away. Her skin had returned some colour and her hair was longer. She didn't look too bad. Basically any signs of the girl he had left in Tree hill, all except for the eyes. The eyes were still barely alive, very sad and heartbroken. Or maybe he was just saying that coz he knew what she had gone through?

"Chase?" she called out to him barely fighting the urge to squirm under his scrutiny.

"Can't an old friend just drop by for a visit?" he shrugged when her eyebrow shot up. It wasn't a complete lie.

"how did you find me?"

"a guy's gotta keep some secrets." His smirk turned into a full smile when her face relaxed and he saw her upper lip stretch ever so slightly.

"how have you been Peyton?"

**A.N hope you liked this, next chapter is already written, will be up tomorrow.**

**Please review review review and make me one happy camper!**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**A.N so very little reviews for the last chapter. I don't know whether it's because people didn't like it, or they have lost interest in the story entirely, I would like to know either way. Remember that the more reviews the more inspired an author is to update faster with better chapters. This chapter was already written though it was just a matter of just putting it out there for you guys. Please please let me know what you think! So review please!**

**Also huge thanks to Penguins2Japan and Suze18 for being the first to review the last chapter**

It was weird; a few weeks ago she hadn't thought that she was going to see any of them, not for a long time anyway. Matter of fact she had been adamant in her conviction that she wasn't going to see them, thus the moving away to a totally humongous city without telling anyone where she was going.

And it hadn't been easy, cutting herself from her best friend, all her friends, it had been damn right near impossible. How many times had she picked up the phone to ring Brooke to come and get her only to hang up before the phone had the chance to ring?

But she was doing the right thing, well for her anyway, she knew that. She didn't want to see the pitying looks on their faces, the looks she was sure were permanently etched on their faces whenever she was concerned. She was tired of it. Most of all she didn't want to be reminded of _him_. It was already hard enough trying to get through the day without thoughts of him consuming her mind as it was, the last thing she needed was reminders.

Their lives were intertwined because they had the same friends whether she liked it or not, so the only way to se herself free had been to cut herself off. It had to be one of the hardest things that she had ever done in her entire life, but it was necessary.

In Tree hill she didn't recognise herself anymore, so she had vowed to get her life back on track, and that's what she was trying to do right now, picking up the pieces of her shattered life bit by bit.

But Chase had just appeared out of nowhere, turning her life upside down all over again. The first time she saw him she had been so stunned that she ran for it, literally. He was still teasing her about that to this day.

But it had been a gut reaction; she hadn't known what to do!

She had however, thought that was the end of it, that was until he turned up in her office a few days later. She had been tempted to send him away, oh had she ever. She hadn't been sure she could handle seeing him. She kept reminding herself that she was a different person now, well she was trying to be, and she couldn't do that if the past kept dragging her back.

But then as she finally stopped fretting enough to get a good look in his eyes, she had remembered the guy who had been there for her when she was crumbling down, the guy who had put his life on hold to take care of her because he loved her best friend; and she had melted, if only a little. She also didn't fail to notice the intense sadness that was lurking behind his eyes. She knew it only too well; it was her new best friend and companion.

So after the initial awkwardness she had agreed to meet him after work for a few drinks and a catch up.

And now, a mere three weeks later he had ingrained himself so deeply in her life that she didn't remember a time when he wasn't there. Heck even her flatmate Faith was besotted with him.

"Dammit Sawyer, what's taking you so long? Get your butt down here already!" she could here Faith screaming at her from down the hall.

Peyton just simply rolled her eyes. Faith was the most impatient person she had ever met. If she got ready before you, then you were in for it. She would be bouncing around, hassling you till you finished, just like she was now.

Peyton hadn't been able to believe her luck when she ran into her on the flight to New York, still looking as crazy as ever, the only difference being that her hair was now dyed a fire engine red, which suited her strangely enough.

She don't know how but somewhere down the conversation Peyton had mentioned that she would have to live in a hotel for a while as she didn't know anyone in New York and had yet to find a place to live. This little impromptu trip of hers hadn't been planned. Aside from boarding a plane she hadn't planned anything else. Heck even New York had been a last minute decision made at the airport, and only because it was the first plane out.

That's when Faith came up with the crazy idea that they move in together. Apparently she had just moved into a gorgeous and massive apartment that she could barely afford on her own.

At first Peyton was a bit hesitant and wary. They didn't know each other, aside from getting drunk together that one night in the bar. They didn't have the first clue about who the other was! But Faith had pointed out that to afford a decent place in New York she would have to move in with a complete stranger anyway, at least she knew she liked her, and they already knew what the other was like as a drunk. And she had declared that it wasn't a coincidence that she had chosen New York, where Faith lived, and they happened to board the same plane.

Three days later Peyton had moved in with the crazy black girl with green eyes and constantly changing hair colour. She hadn't regretted since.

Now they were going out, again. Chase was on a mission to 'bring her out of her funk' as he so delicately put it. She still remembered the morning after the night before when he had brought another cup of coffee at seven in the morning to a very irritable Peyton, declaring in his high and mighty voice that they were going out. She had protested, of course she had, how could she not? It was a ridiculous idea, and it was way too early. Besides she really didn't feel like going out.

All her protests had died in her throat however when he pointed out, in a very suave manner that she hadn't seen on him before; that she was way too pretty to spend all her time stuck in the past.

Even though she knew it was all bullshit, she had been flattered none the less. So she let him take her ice skating that morning. She wasn't sure at first. Well that coupled with the fact that she wasn't exactly the steadiest thing on two legs, let alone on metal blades, had made it near impossible to get her on the ice.

He was a persistent one; she would give him that, cos he did finally get her on the ice. It wasn't pretty; she was on her ass more times than she was on her feet. But somewhere between it being totally tragic and pathetic, it was actually funny. He had laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her cheeks. And she couldn't remember the last time she had even cracked a smile, a genuine one before then.

That had been three weeks ago.

After that he had turned up religiously at hers, on the days that she wasn't working with three cups of coffee in tow - one for her, one for himself and the other one for Faith.

Her roommate adored him for the little gestures when Peyton herself failed to understand why these little get togethers had to be at dawn o'clock. She wasn't a big fan of mornings, they both knew that, a little fact they chose to ignore even if it was paired together with her most vicious death glares. What was even more surprising was that she didn't say no, she went with him, all those crazy mornings to the little activities he had planned. Sometimes they didn't even do anything; they just walked and talked all morning.

On the days she was working, he would pick her up from work sometimes, or she would find him already at home with Faith waiting for her with a beer on hand. Then they would all sit in front of the TV watching some old movie, the game or what ever caught their fancy.

Sometimes he would even bring his friend Danny who Faith was absolutely infatuated with. It felt good; all of them just hanging out like that, so good in fact that she began to miss him when he wasn't there.

Today however, the Lakers were in town, and Chase had somehow managed to score some tickets, so all four of them were going to the game.

"Sawyer what the hell is taking you so long?" her roommate's voice boomed through the hallway before she burst through her door mere seconds later.

"Alright, I'm coming. Sheesh!" she applied a final coat of lip gloss for good measure before turning to find her friend leaning against the door frame, her eyebrows raised.

"What?"

"Who are you trying to impress? I thought you were all about being broody and shit."

"Well it never hurts to be prepared." Peyton ducked to hide her blush that was slowly creeping up her cheeks. Her heart clenched though as she remembered the very same words being uttered to her by someone else at another time. She quickly waved it aside though. She couldn't afford to dwell on that, not if she had any hopes of enjoying the game.

She should have known though, that it wouldn't be that easy, especially considering where they were going. Tree hill and basket ball were like peanut butter and jelly. As it was right now her memories of the past were merging with the past so much so that she could barely tell where one began and one ended. As the buzzers sounded signalling the beginning of the game, memories of another buzzer flushed through her mind, the day the boy told her that he wanted her by his side as his dreams came true. It was painful, unbearable, and suddenly she felt like someone had a vice hand around her throat cutting off her air supply.

It was like she was right back there, cheering on the sides for the boy she loved, and later sat on the bleachers with the woman he loved. It was awful!

Sensing her distress Chase pulled her in his arms, smiling kindly at her before softly kissing her temple. She responded immediately, instantly feeling herself relax.

He had that effect on her, smiling at her, making her feel at ease as if her whole life wasn't collapsing all around her.

He had totally forgotten her connection to basket ball. It hadn't once crossed his mind that she might have a tough time with this. That's why when Danny had got the tickets he hadn't thought twice about inviting her, he had just been excited to spend more time with her.

But seeing her now, so close to falling apart, he couldn't help regret his decision, or the guilt that was clawing inside him.

"It's just a game Peyt." He whispered no longer paying attention to the game, but to the trembling woman beside him. "We can leave if you want." He didn't exactly want to miss the game, but for her he would.

He wasn't exactly sure when she began important to him. Probably somewhere between bumping into her and his endless efforts to cheer her up and help her move on, if that was even possible. One thing that he was sure of was that she was helping him more than he was helping her.

As long as he was occupied with her he found that he didn't think about the other woman in his life as much. It got easier not to be with her, and the more time he spent with Peyton, the more reasons he found to smile.

"No its okay, we can stay, besides, you really want to see the game." She smiled at him knowingly, visibly forcing herself to relax.

She'd bear it for him, just like he would have left for her cos that's what friends did for each other.

They'd gotten really close over a short amount of time. Probably because it was a large city and they were each other's representatives of home, links to the past they so desperately wanted to forget, each for different reasons which were also similar. It was a past they were both however still hesitant to let go.

They might have met up again by chance but after that they naturally just gravitated towards each other.

They were discovering now things about each other that they would have otherwise never known back at home, she doubted they would have gotten a chance to be as close as they were now considering he was in love with her best friend and all, and her Brooke had a murky past when it came to boys.

For his turn, he had discovered that she was strong, much stronger than people gave her credit for. Heck he had been guilty of that when they were back in Tree Hill. But she was. She was slowly but surely picking herself up. She had even got herself a job, which she wasn't exactly crazy about but it gave her something to focus on.

He didn't think that he could be as strong as her had he been faced with the same dilemma. He knew he wasn't. He was barely holding it together as it was and what happened to him wasn't nearly as bad as what happened to her.

He couldn't have been prouder of her.

**A.N this chapter was sorely to explain Peyton's life in New York. Hope you like it. Please Please REVIEW! **


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